Welcome to an all-new episode of Vanderpump Rules. Let’s get started!
This year Stassi Schroeder has decided to essentially skip her birthday. While this is not strange behavior for many adults it is definitely odd for the Queen of “It’s My Effing Birthday” and I’ll cry, whine or terrorize everyone if I want to. Her reason for skipping such an important date? Her younger sister had the nerve to plan her wedding day on Stassi’s birthday. THE NERVE. Don’t you worry, though. She has every plan to make up for it next year.
While Stassi and Beau Clark have a casual non-birthday lunch with Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney Schwartz, Stassi decides she’s going to have a talk with Jax and try to persuade him to reinvite Tom Sandoval to his wedding. While she admits she’s not a big fan of Sandoval, she says she’s doing it for Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright because at the end of the day they will regret it if he’s not there.
Nathalie Zapata, part-owner of SUR, pays a grieving Lisa Vanderpump a visit to extend her condolences on the loss of her dear mother. While there she gifts Lisa with a beautiful arrangement of flowers and two framed photos she had of Lisa and her mother. The sentiment brings Lisa to tears. Thankfully we see a little glimmer of the old Lisa deep down beneath all of the pain when she offers Nathalie a piece of chocolate and then scolds her for trying to take the only pink one. Come on, Nathalie! Everyone knows pink is Lisa’s color!!!
Back at SUR, while completing side work, Raquel Leviss confides in Dayna Kathan and Danica Dow that after a wild night out James Kennedy got drunk and sent her verbally abusive text messages calling her out of her name. Raquel admits she “drank way too much” on a girls night and blacked out.
“I left my phone in my purse in the kitchen, passed out in bed, then woke up to a million texts from James like, ‘whore, slut,’ ” she tells her shocked co-workers.
“‘F— you. Where are you? I’m breaking up with you. Whore. Slut. Whore. F— you,’ ” she reads from her phone in an interview with producers. “It makes me literally want to throw up.”
Dayna and Danica are adamant that a man should never talk to a woman like that, especially one they supposedly care about. Raquel stays mum in front of the ladies but later admits that the text messages made her sick to her stomach.
On the day of Ariana Madix’s birthday bash, Sandoval serves her a generous glass of wine while she gets ready. Tom Sandoval confesses that after sending the apology text to Jax he never heard back from him. Ariana goes back and forth about how she’s going to tell Brittany that she’s bowing out of her bridesmaid duties and skipping the wedding altogether now that Sandoval has been excommunicated from the nuptials… or has he?
Later that evening, Stassi makes good on her word and pleads her case with Jax. She tells him it’s up to him to be the bigger person in the situation. Jax laments that he hates the thought of having to give his best man a second and third chance to do the right thing but ultimately it appears that Stassi’s lecture did not fall on deaf ears…
All of the drama appears to be squashed after Jax and Brittany pull Tom Sandoval and Ariana aside. Sandoval offers up an apology with no BUTS about it and Jax says that he still wants him as Best Man in his wedding. The four hug it out and then deliver the news to the rest of the group and there’s no one happier in the entire room than Schwartz who up until now has been watching bow tie YouTube tutorials non-stop. Hallelujah.
Katie and Kristin Doute have yet another painful encounter. Kristin admits that Carter will, of course, be at the wedding and Katie loses her mind stating that Jax and Brittany don’t give an eff if he’s there or not as he’s not really part of their friend group. Kristin’s left in tears while Katie stomps off. Is anyone else noticing a pattern here or…?
Raquel and a visibly agitated James arrive at Ariana’s party. It’s obvious James is annoyed he has to attend a party sober but Raquel quickly reminds him that his behavior is unacceptable after he’s had a few drinks. She brings up the derogatory text messages but James says that if she had answered his phone calls he wouldn’t have been so triggered. And there you have it, ladies & gents- it’s all Raquel’s fault that James got drunk and sent her those verbally abusive text messages. SMDH.
Back at home, Jax and Brittany call their new officiant Lance Bass to firm up the details of the ceremony. Jax tells the pop star of one of the most famous boy bands EVER, that he knows there’s a lot of pressure surrounding his new gig as the couple’s officiant but to try and just enjoy himself. LOL. Okay, Jax.
The next day Ariana confronts Raquel admitting that she heard about the horrible text messages James sent her. Ariana stresses to Raquel that it’s not okay that James talks to her like that and she’s worried that Raquel might start to believe those things about herself if she stays with James. Raquel admits that James has one last chance with her to show her that he can be a good person and do the right thing.
The Scheana/Brett/Charlie love triangle comes to a head when Charlie confronts Scheana about calling her untrustworthy. Scheana denies she ever told Brett that. The train seems to get away from Brett as the two girls turn on him and Charlie accuses Brett of being the untrustworthy one for telling Charlie something Scheana supposedly told him in confidence. Brett loses his mind and starts yelling “this is why I can’t have friends that are girls.”
Jax and Brittany Cartwright finally touch down to their castle in “VER-SAILS” Kentucky with the rest of the gang right behind them. The air is filled with so much excitement that even Jax and Brittany’s dogs have the nervous poops.
Tom Sandoval is taking his duties very seriously as he shows up at the wedding rehearsal with a battery-operated fan, an umbrella to block the sun and an ice chest on wheels filled with all the makings for cocktails. Unfortunately, it appears to be too little too late as Jax makes it clear that he no longer wants Sandoval as the Best-Best Man. Instead, he’s number two in the lineup behind Schwartz. Yikes.
Raquel Leviss and James finally have a Come-to-Jesus meeting over his behavior. James tries to shut the conversation down and even storms out but eventually comes back with his tail between his legs.
“I’m glad you’re not drinking tonight, but we need to talk about the other night,” Raquel Leviss says. “The way that you texted me was completely inappropriate.”
“Had you just answered your phone, I wouldn’t have been so triggered,” he replies, explaining in a confessional, “When Raquel doesn’t answer, I feel like she’s out there doing things I used to do. You’re in Hollywood, guys are talking to you. Like, those kinds of girls don’t get left alone at parties.”
“When you’re drunk, you behave a different way than I do when I’m drunk,” she says.
“That doesn’t mean you can just like turn your phone off,” he insists. “I don’t trust anyone when they’re that drunk.”
James apologizes for his behavior and vows to stop drinking. They also both make plans to go to Al-Anon meetings so that she can help support him. She admits that she can’t control whether or not he continues to drink but says that she will break up with him if he can’t get it together.
Will the wedding go off without a hitch? Will James Kennedy make good on his promise to stay sober? Tune in next week to find out.