RHOC Recap: David Beador Attacks Shannon & Her Lawyer In Tense Court Hearing!
This week on RHOC we take a trip to Judgmentville. Some of the RHOC wives are projecting their bad marriages onto Gina Kirschenheiter and Emily’s. And it turns out that they may be half right.
We begin with Shannon who’s getting her make-up done for a photo shoot. This picture will be going on her food packages. The photos look good, but Shannon thinks she looks fat. Don’t worry, that’s why they call it photo-chopping. Kelly, Emily, and Tamra arrive to watch the photo-shoot and have lunch. Tamra announces that today is national blowjob day, a made-up holiday by a man, no doubt.
Across town, Vicki and company are recording a sales pitch to promote the Coto Insurance franchise. Her son Michael and boyfriend Steve are along for the ride. Vicki tests her voice and she sounds like she could work the phone-sex lines. However, when Vicki reads the pre-written pitch she sounds flat. Her business partner is prepared. Fireball! Vicki takes a swig and tries again. At the end, Vicki gives fake advice to give your husband a blow job and everything will be all better. See how Bravo tied that together? Wow. So creative.
Back at Shannon’s place, she regales the ladies tales of her divorce. She and David had their court date postponed and will be having a private hearing in a few days to determine temporary spousal support. Shannon’s worried about maintaining her lifestyle. But here’s the best part, David is acting as his own attorney. Bwwaaahahaha. He has a fool for a client, am I right? But David did fire a shot at Shannon. He’s claiming she drinks excessively. Define, excessively. In the meantime, there’s plenty of texts to prove David’s an asshole.
Onto the subject of poker night, the ladies askEmily what happened after they left. Emily says Gina was kicked out by her husband, Shane, because she was a loud, drunk New Yorker dropping F-bombs. Emily says Gina texted an apology later. Tamra is shaking her head, trying to scowl but her face won’t move. She doesn’t approve of men yelling at women. Emily tells the ladies that Gina wanted to apologize to Shane, but she told her to wait a few days. Hey Shane, why don’t you busy yourself with taking the bar again.
Next we join Vicki and Kelly who have put their troubles behind them and are on their way to meet the others for a beachside happy hour. Kelly tells Vicki that Gina got kicked out by Shane after poker night. Vicki is shocked. She didn’t even know Shane was there. Kelly says if Michael had kicked out one of her friends she would have gone psycho on his ass. I don’t think there’s a person out there that doubts this. Kelly suggests maybe that’s how their marriage works. Or does it? Vicki and Kelly don’t understand how Emily can drink, gamble and swear and be married to a Mormon. Sounds like the start of a Lifetime movie, but then of course, someone would be murdered.
Emily and Gina are riding together to happy hour, and wisely, Gina stays in the car and waits for Emily to come out. They talk about how bonded they are because they have small children, but faster than a housewife marriage ends, Gina announces she’s no longer going to apologize to Shane and wants an apology from him. Gina came to this conclusion after speaking with Tamra. Emily admits that Shane could have handled the situation much more gracefully, but he will never apologize. Really? He sounds so much fun to live with.
The ladies meet at the beach. It’s cold outside so they order hot toddies. Shannon is last to arrive and lies to tells the ladies she feels nothing for David. Her anger and love have magically disappeared. Tamra was hoping Shannon would go into denial. She wants her to start dating and get laid now. Like, right now. The matchmakers are on their way so drink up, but watch the excessiveness. Kelly tells Shannon she has nothing to lose – except possibly her life, money and self-respect. Other than that she’s golden.
The matchmakers arrive and take Shannon and Tamra aside. Tamra tells the matchmakers Shannon loves sex. Shannon clarifies she likes sex, but her husband didn’t. They ask a few questions then tell Shannon they’ll be in touch. Vicki also leaves because she isn’t feeling well and Emily leaves because her husband, Shane, is home alone with the kids and can’t handle it.
The second Emily is out of earshot, the ladies trash Shane and his controlling ways. Gina says she wasn’t dropping F-bombs and Emily admitted that her husband is a dick. Gina says she wasn’t doing anything anyone else wasn’t doing, who was also downing shots like a sailor. She says Shane screamed that Gina is the “worst of them all.” Kelly and Tamra’s mouths drop open, and not to give BJ’s, but because this is crazy. Shannon says this is exactly what David was doing right before their marriage fell apart. Gina says she’s going to give Shane the benefit of the doubt that he’s not as evil as David.
The following morning Vicki and Tamra are getting eyebrows tattooed on their faces. It looks like it hurts. Vicki asks if you’re supposed to bleed. Yes, you are. Tamra tells Vicki about the conversation with Gina after she left last night in regards to Shane. Speaking of bad marriages, Tamra tells Vicki that Gina’s kids were brats when she visited and Gina’s never been to her husband’s apartment in Los Angeles. WTF? This reminds Vicki of Brooks and Tamra of Simon.
Later in the week, Kelly is on a date with Frank the milkman. He looks familiar. Almost like Jeana Keough’s oldest son, but this guy actually smiles. Kelly orders a Tequila and Frank is taken aback she drinks like a man. Frank asks Kelly about her dating life and she says it’s over with the 80 year-old spine doctor.
Frank tells Kelly if she doesn’t take it down a notch, and “be chill,” she’s going to be alone the rest of her life. Way to deliver the milk, Frank! Kelly dismisses his suggestion as Frank lists all the Mexican food dish he loves. Every. Single. One. This relationship won’t last long.
Back with Shannon, she’s in bed with Archie, coolest dog ever! Archie should get his own show. He knows how to “be chill” especially around neurotic people. Speaking of Shannon, she’s getting ready for court. She’s very nervous. On the way, Shannon calls her mom who gives a pep talk, and Shannon is so distracted, she runs a red light. Shannon meets with Ben, her lawyer, beforehand. They discuss strategy and how to deal with the jerk representing himself. Oh how I wish the cameras could be there.
Three hours later, Ben congratulates Shannon on the outcome. She calls Tamra in the car, in tears, to tell her the judge ordered David to pay her $30K per month. Ka-ching! Tamra loves it. I love it. Then Shannon says David went off on her and Ben in the hallway, and Ben had to scream like a girl for the bailiff. Here’s the weird part. Shannon decided to lower the amount to $22,500. What kind of strategy is that? Shannon says that David was shaking. He’s just mad he can’t control the money.
Next week on RHOC — the ladies go golfing and get into yet another a fight.