RHONY RECAP: Drunk Dorinda Medley Expects Luann de Lesseps to Apologize!
We are back in the Big Apple with The Real Housewives of New York City. On Wednesday night’s RHONY episode, the ladies are still reeling from their Colombian nightmare — with many suffering from explosive diarrhea, so the trip was great in the end. (Ba-dum-tisk.)
We are with Dorinda and Ramona in South Hampton to check out Ramona’s newly remodeled life’s work. Dorinda gasps and says it looks like a “totally different place” even though it relatively looks the same. Ramona loves it because her dog can pee on the new rugs. Isn’t that special. The kitchen is also renovated and now is entirely sterile has two wine refrigerators.
Luann and Sonja arrive at Ramona’s place and Luann isn’t impressed that everything was ordered online and thinks it could use some flowers and plants. But there is some good news, Sonja just had her first hard bowel movement this morning and is no longer wearing adult diapers. They discuss the boat trip from hell and how they were “dripping liquid gold” everywhere. Please. Stop. Talking. Ramona changes the subject to herself and I’ve never been so happy. She is having a preview party for her skincare line later in the week.
Back in NYC, Tinsley drops by Carole’s place to catch up. Carole overshares that she finally went to the bathroom normally this morning and Tinsley overshares that she still has not gone to the bathroom normally. Their riveting discussion moves to Tinsley’s complete ineffectiveness on the boat and total lack of comprehension that they were in real danger. Carole tells Tinsley that denial is her emotional go-to from being in all those abusive relationships. Tinsley clenches her fists and starts to cry because now her bff is being abusive.
Over at Sonja’s townhouse, she still hasn’t moved out because she hasn’t found the right fool renter. But today could be that day as long as the potential renter can overlook all the poop on the back patio. It’s winter people. Sonja is asked to leave so the client can view her house and make crass statements without her yacking about poop.
Dorinda stops by Bethenny’s new apartment, which is stunning. Her elevator comes right to her floor. Her closet is as big as most people’s NYC apartments. The two eat lunch and Bethenny brings up the fight between Dorinda and Luann. Dorinda says she doesn’t want to talk about it, then launches into all the reasons why she’s still pissed at Lu. Dorinda says she’s going back into therapy (the angels sing) but insists she and John are in a good spot…because they haven’t been hanging out much…so they haven’t been fighting. See how that works. Anyway, Bethenny acknowledges that she may live alone in this beautiful, big apartment for the rest of her life. There are worse things.
Back with Sonja, she returns to the townhouse with her pink poodle (not a euphemism for her hoo-haw) to get the feedback on the potential client. They liked it, but they don’t like the construction going on behind Sonja’s house which is four stories high. Her realtor suggests a “meaningful” price reduction from $32K to $22K per month to really entice renters. Sonja is like, eff that. They need to realize this townhouse is a legacy.
Up next, Luann and Bethenny meet up to make their own shades of lip gloss. Sounds pretty cool, and let’s face it, continually going to bars gets old. Bethenny tells Luann that Dorinda wants to go back to therapy. Luann thinks she needs it. Since Colombia, Dorinda is now the knot in her stomach that was once Montezuma’s revenge. In other words, their friendship is in the toilet, about to be flushed. Same with Bethenny and Carole. Carole likes her friendships like she likes her men: light, empty and without complication. Luann tells Bethenny that Ramona’s newly remodeled Hampton house has no warmth, charm or character. So it’s true what they say, money can’t buy you class.
Later that evening, Carole and Dorinda meet for dinner. Carole is carrying her novels, “Widows Guide to Sex and Dating,” and announces it has been optioned again, but now the talk is on a TV show. Dorinda asks about Red Scarf guy and we learn Bethenny reached out to him in Miami, even though Bethenny claimed she wasn’t interested in him. Carole is disappointed to learn Dorinda saw Bethenny’s new place and she has not. And now that Carole has “quit” the show, she never will.
It’s party time! Carole and her Cosmo editor Michelle are hosting an “athletic chic” party to introduce her new column in the mag. Ramona arrives with chopped hair in her LBD, which I’m sure she runs track in all the time. Heather shows up followed by Tinsley and Scott. Adam is also a guest and brings Carole a trophy – that took him four days to decide on. Carole says she still loves Adam, and doesn’t crash and burn relationships like other people do. She’s so much better than all of us.
Tinsley says Carole and Adam’s breakup has been hard on her. And that’s what really matters. Heather asks Carole about finding her voice. Carole explains her relationship with Bethenny was all about Bethenny and little about her. Heather explains that self-absorbed people don’t realize they are self-absorbed, just ask any real housewife certified therapist. Dorinda shows up smoking hot in her athletic wear. This “Colombia cleanse” is working wonders for these ladies. Adam asks Carole to grab a cup of coffee soon and catch up. Carole says she no longer drinks coffee, but will drink tea, which is code for, let’s have a quickie, but then you leave.
It’s raining in New York City. Bethenny is taking Sonja on a field trip to the Skinnygirl Jeans factory. Sonja is glowing. We learn it’s because Mr. Watch TV was over last night. I guess we know what he likes to do, but for now, Sonja is keeping his identity quiet. We check out the men’s jeans line and get an education on the BPD, which stands for big package denim which is information we didn’t really need.
On the other side of rainy NYC, Dorinda stops by John’s cleaners to remind us that he’s still vaguely in her life. They are having lunch in the back room. John tells Dorinda he’s going on the Rachel Ray show and will be giving the audience gifts. Dorinda tells John to cut back on the amount of gifts, dashing his joy. But in her testimonial, Dorinda brags that she brings out the best in men. Okay, Dor, if you say so. The two will be celebrating their six-year anniversary soon – which was how long Dorinda was married to Richard. Dorinda asks John if he wants to go to Luann’s cabaret show. He says yes. Spoiler alert: he won’t be going.
We are at Ramona’s “pre-celebration” for her skincare line, Ageless. All the women are invited, and all come, except Bethenny, who doesn’t even text her regrets. Sonja arrives with her shoe line for Luann and Ramona. And to steal some thunder. Sonja didn’t bring a pair of shoes for Dorinda or Carole because they gave her a hard time about the family crest. So there! No deers for you, one year.
Flashbacks are shown of the cabaret rehearsal and it looks like a fun train-wreck. Back at the party, Dorinda apologizes again to Luann for what she said in Colombia. Luann accepts the apology and tells Dorinda to stop apologizing. But that’s not what Dorinda wants. She wants an apology from Lu. I’m pretty sure Luann is done apologizing.
Tune into the RHONY finale next week for Lu’s cabaret debut. It’s going to be a blast. Sonja’s dress flies off. Ramona let’s Bethenny have it. And Dorinda walks out on her friendship with Luann. In the meantime, catch up on last week’s RHONY drama here.