Ashley Darby Attacks Karen Huger’s Marriage & Shades Ray’s Penis!
Welcome back to The Real Housewives of Potomac. We pick up where we left off with Gizelle claiming to be a ninja in the night who will take a shot and won’t miss. Monique throws Charrisse under the bus for bringing Kyndall around. Gizelle says she is the “baddest thing walking” and fully admits she doesn’t care about other women. Believe her, for she speaks the truth. Gizelle and Monique agree to be cordial because they won’t ever be real friends.
It’s officially day three in Cannes and today’s trip is to a winery so the women can whine some more. On the ride there, the ladies are smiling and getting along. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t last. When they arrive at the beautiful chateau the ladies are given a tour and served organic white wine. Next they are served red wine direct from the barrel. Cheers!
Outside on the patio, hors d’oeuvres and several bottles of wine are waiting for the ladies. Karen announces she will serve the sommelier in grown-woman style since she’s been married for 21 years because that’s how she serves her man. (Insert eye roll.) Gizelle points out that Karen is still not wearing her wedding ring.
They bid the handsome sommelier adieu and the ladies are left to entertain themselves. Charrisse takes Monique aside and tells her she didn’t appreciate being thrown under the bus over Kyndall. Monique says she feels it’s 50/50 when it comes to the blame for bringing Kyndall around. Charrisse disagrees and tells Monique it’s 100% her fault.
On the other side of the patio, Candiace, once again, is trying to make things about herself. She dramatically references her tea with Karen in front of Robyn and Ashley, but they aren’t paying attention to her. Ashley and Robyn are trying to take selfies while the light is perfect.
Gizelle joins the group just as Ashley and Robyn are being scolded by Karen for ignoring Candiace. Through non-existent tears, Candiace explains she has a lot going on with the planning of her wedding and Chris’ multiple children. Candiace is like super stressed, y’all, and doesn’t want to fight to be their friend, so pay attention to her.
Gizelle is confused when she’s told to take her head out of her ass by Candiace because she’s always said she liked Candiace…better than Monique. Karen tells Candiace she’s getting off track. She guides Candiace back on track and walks away. Candiace explains she doesn’t like being called a princess. Everyone laughs, yet again, because that nickname came from her fiancé, not them. They just took the name and ran with it.
Back with Monique and Charrisse, they overhear the women arguing and decide to stay put because it’s safer to fight with a friend than with a bunch of crazy women. Thankfully it’s time to leave. They get in the car and start arguing about who has money and who has a man with money. Karen says her marriage is an institution and Ashley’s marriage is a “fake the world” situation. Here’s the thing, why is Ashley fighting Karen again when her own marriage to Michael is in utter disarray? Karen then says Ashley is the one who looks miserable in her marriage. Ashley says Karen always complains that Ray has a pruney peen. Once again, Ashely Darby manages to hit way below the belt with her shade on Karen’s marriage.
What’s weird is the van is not moving. I’m thinking the driver is afraid to get into the vehicle. Meanwhile the other ladies are loving the back and forth bickering between Karen and Ashley. The van finally leaves, but the fighting continues. Karen tells Ashley to take her fake marriage and shove it up her ass. Ashley calls Karen a fake ass liar. Candiace jumps in to defend Karen and tells Ashely Darby to suck a d*ck. Harsh words from a princess, but she shuts down Ashley Darby for the duration of the ride.
Back at the hotel, Candiace calls Chris to tell him if it weren’t for the free trip and Bravo contract, she’d be on a plane headed home. Candiace explains the bandwagon bitches are acting like childish mean girls and calls Gizelle the ring leader. Chris advises Candiace to only hang out with Karen and Charrisse since they are being nice. It’s amazing that Candiace can’t figure this out on her own, but I guess that’s what happens when your mommy does everything for you.
It’s day four and the ladies are going on a boat ride on the Mediterranean. Sitting on the back of the boat in their bikinis, Ashley, Candiace and Monique have a talk. Ashley tells Candiace she was intruding on something she had no business intruding on concerning her fight with Karen. Candiace is like, suck it Ashley, you’re not the boss of me…my momma is! Monique says that everyone is always in attack mode with this group when there needs to be calm and more essential oils.
Inside the boat, Gizelle shades Karen yet again about not wearing her wedding ring. Karen explains that she was once robbed and they wanted to steal her ring, but fortunately she slipped the ring in her hoo-haa. And I’m thinking, Ouch! But it turns out, Karen thinks her breasts are her hoo-haa. Gizelle gives an anatomy lesson to Karen and explains the hoo-haa is the vajayjay.
The ladies arrive in Eze, France, to shop. Monique is loving the herbs and Gizelle is bored out of her mind. If you ever have the chance to visit Eze, wear good walking shoes. The town is filled with stairs. The ladies climb and climb and climb, but the view is spectacular and they are too exhausted to fight. Bonus!
The ladies return to the hotel and get dressed in 1920’s burlesque for Monique’s birthday celebration. The costumes were provided by the hotel, so that’s even more fun. The birthday girl is loving it. Unfortunately, Candiace ruins the good vibes when she apologizes for ruining the good vibes at the winery. This leads to Gizelle bringing up that Charrisse was being messy over Kyndall. Charrisse denies this, but eventually apologizes and Gizelle promises to give her a French kiss later.
Dancers arrive, but Robyn and Ashely Darby join in and it’s just sad. They reenact the fight between Robyn and Monique with the umbrella. A cake is wheeled out while Candiace sings Happy Birthday in French. Finally the women are getting along just in time for the trip to be over.
Tune in next time when some of the ladies dress up as pizza delivery men to find out if Karen actually lives in the Gray Falls mansion.
Side note: I will be out of town this week, taking my son to college in Boulder, CO, but not to worry, the recaps will be covered. See you next week!