RECAP: ‘Married at First Sight’ The Couples Marry — Will They Have Sex On the Wedding Night?

Welcome back to Married at First Sight! Can you feel the love? Not if you’re the bride. All Jaclyn can feel is her cold feet. She is visibly trembling, as any sane person would be if they agreed to this craziness. Her soon to be ex husband, Ryan, is still patiently waiting for her at the altar. Finally the guests are told to stand and Jaclyn enters. Their first impressions of each other are good. Ryan says his socks are knocked off and Jackie thinks he’s cute. Their vows are heartfelt and touching and the kiss is wowza. For a brief second, I believe these crazy kids can make this thing work. Then I remember it’s a reality show. 

Over at Shawniece and Jephte’s ceremony, while he’s waiting for things to start, Jephte introduces himself to the guests. Shawniece’s grandparents are not impressed. The wedding starts and Shawniece is escorted down the aisle by two men. First impressions are Shawniece thinks Jephte is fiiiine, but before we can get Jephte’s thoughts, his mom, Laura, stands up and says, “Everybody wait. This is my son.” But she’s not trying to stop the wedding. Whew. She just wants camera time to give Shawniece a bling belt as a gift. Jephte’s vows are sweet, even when he forgets part of it, and Shawniece’s vows are, meh. And so is their kiss. It’s a 3 on the kiss-o-meter.

Finally onto Molly and Jonathan. Will their separate hotness become one? Will sparks fly? Will their exes cry? Molly walks down the aisle with her mom, and when her eyes meet his, you totally see the sigh of relief that their soulmates aren’t hideous looking. In fact, Jon is ready to jump to the kissing part, but is told he must wait to learn valuable insight about Molly – like how she likes her pants to be wrinkle free. Stunning piece of information. Their kiss is longer than a peck but shorter than a smooch. After they step away from the guests, the first question Molly asks Jonathan is, “So, what do you do for a day job?” Dun-dun-DUUUNH.

Jonathan begins with, “It’s a fun story.” Yay! I like fun stories. Let’s hope Molly likes them too. Jonathan breaks the news that he lost his job due to getting picked for this show. The firm he worked for obviously did their homework about the show’s track record. Jonathan tells Molly he’s already had several interviews. He has? Really? That must be a new part of the fun story. Oh well, Molly takes it all in stride and isn’t panicking just yet. But someday soon I’m sure we’ll hear Jonathan say, “I gave up my job for you!”

Back with Ryan and Jackie, the two are getting to know each other. We learn that Ryan is very romantic. He tells Jackie she’s a princess, this is a fairytale wedding, and he couldn’t be happier. Jackie just smiles, trying to match his enthusiasm, but failing.

Over with Shawniece and Jephte, they toast to new beginnings. Jephte shares that his mom was not on board at first. Shawniece tells Jephte to quit being nervous because he’s stuck with her now – and masturbation is the key to being single. Girl, please. You just met the guy five minutes ago, save something for later. Jephte blushes and tells Shawniece he’s a school teacher, but I think he’s about to get schooled.

Time for photos! In year’s past, this is typically where things get awkward. There have been times when some of the brides flat out refused to kiss or embrace for the photos, but not this season. Ryan and Jackie and Molly and Jonathan readily kiss each other, but wait, Jephte hesitates.

Oops I spoke to soon. Remember, Jephte is shy, and mugging his new bride for the group picture makes him uncomfortable. Alas, he relents and kisses Shawniece on the cheek. Jephte had better up his game if he doesn’t want to get replaced by one of Shawniece’s battery operated toys.

Moving on to the receptions. The couples will participate in the first dance, the cake cutting and the speeches. It’s nice to see Molly and Jonathan giggle during their first dance. Jephte and Shawniece get through it with a smile. And Ryan and Jackie can’t dance, but don’t care, they’re just happy to be there. During Molly’s mom’s speech, it clicks with Jonathan that her father has passed away. He makes a mental note to ask about it later. Ryan has the best speech ever. He gets down on one knee and proposes to Jackie. She says yes! And here I was so worried. Shawniece’s mom gives a speech that is touching, but unfortunately I need subtitles for most of it. She tells the couple, “It’s we, there is no more I.” Can I get an amen!

Next up, it’s time for the dreaded visit with family and friends. First up, Shawniece thanks Jephte’s mom, Laura, for the belt. Laura tells Shawniece she stayed up all night casting spells praying for this thing to work out. Up next, Molly meets with, Megan, Jonathan’s “best woman.” Megan says that she was initially upset with Jon for quitting his job and going on this show, but now Megan is more comfortable with the marriage. Megan advises Molly to take control. Hopefully the “best woman” lives out of town. And lastly, Ryan meets with Jackie’s mom and totally makes her feel at ease that her daughter will most likely be somewhat okay.

I’ll say this, everyone is having a great time at all three weddings, and that’s nice to see. As a special wedding gift for Jephte, Shawniece calls her new husband to the dance floor and has him sit on a chair. Is she going to sing him a song? Read him a poem? Profess her undying love? Nope. She’s giving him a lap dance — I hope Jephte brought some “paper” to make it rain!

Actually, it’s clear that the groom wants to disappear as his mom, Laura, stares on in blatant disapproval — plotting to steal her belt back. Shawniece, T.M.I.

Molly is happy, but she’s worried things are going too well, because we wouldn’t want that. She’s not sure if tonight is the night they’ll consummate their marriage, but who knows. As for Mrs. Lap Dance, she tells her friends she’s not telling them, but I’m thinking it’s a no-go for Jephte. And as for Jackie and Ryan, they will wait until they officially fall in love because they have the best chance so far. But tell me what you think. Who has the best chance for success?

Tune in next time when all hell breaks loose. OMG! All aboard for train wreck express! Woop-Woop! If I had to wager money, all three marriages will fail. Put it this way, the honeymoon is over for most of them before the honeymoon is actually over. 

 

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