Married to Medicine Recap: Textual Healing [Episode 6]

 This week’s episode of Married To Medicine is filled with crying, lady parts and puppy couture!  We start off at the scene of “the crime” – Lisa Nicole’s  WEN- Women’s Empowerment Network conference or W(h)EN is the mud-wrestling going to start?  Tears, make-up touch ups, dramatic speeches and a lot of hurt feelings.

Quad and Mariah have to be the best-dressed brawlers at the conference.  Dr. Heavenly tries to intervene.  Quad in fur stole and elbow length leather gloves delivers a speech on par with Bette Davis or Joan Crawford.  “Don’t do this to me … This is not about the show!  This is my life!”

The WEN conference has a “Tranquility Room” with make-up artists for participants to use when they need a touch-up.  But this Tranquility room is just seeing a lot of tears and faux-tragedy!  Lots of crying.  Lots of allegations of lying.  Lots of histrionics.

Dr. Simone after seeing all the anger between Quad and Mariah, decides to make up with Toya.  (Side note: this is a good life lesson for all of us.  Follow Dr. S’s lead and reach out to someone you’ve had an issue with.  Put the fur on the elbow-length gloves away and give someone a hug!)

Enough with the “Trauma in the Tranquility Room,” it’s time for the post-lunch panel at the WEN conference.  Dr. Heavenly wants to know why she was not invited to be a panel speaker. She jumps up there and shuffles all the plates to make herself a seat and starts nodding to anything anyone says.  I guess that’s women’s empowerment for you – if there’s not a seat at the table, make yourself one!

Dr. Jackie’s panel tip: “Looking good (while undergoing breast cancer treatments) made me feel good … health is the best wealth that you can have.”  Lisa Nicole takes the high road and allows panel interloper Dr. Heavenly time to speak.   Dr. H shares the love back to Lisa Nicole and then encourages all participants to Google her!

At the end of the conference, Lisa Nicole tries to get a group hug with Quad & Mariah.  Too soon, too soon!  Lisa Nicole should just be lucky they are in the same room!

Dr. Jackie and Dr. Simone have a post-WEN conference chat filled with some gyno-speak that I did not need to hear!  Enough with the lady parts chatter! Dr, Jackie pushed to have Dr. Simone “own her actions.”   She advised: “Stay tranquil in the tranquility room” and gave Dr. Simone a prescription for “Shut Your Mouth” – take it 3 times a day.  Give me an unlimited refill on that prescription, Dr. Jackie!  I need it – STAT!

In return for the “shut yo mouth” prescription, Dr. Simone tells Dr. Jackie she booked her an appointment with an adoption counselor.  I am surprised Dr. J didn’t chuck her appointment pad at Simone’s head!

Back to Lisa Nicole – she put off her tests to see if her cysts were cancerous to make sure the WEN conference went off smoothly.  (Side note:  Readers please – when it comes to your health, do NOT act like the ladies on Married To Medicine.  Get your derriere to a Doctor – STAT!  No conference or other event is worth your health!)  Lisa Nicole and her children pray that the appointment will go well.  She waits until after her children leave to break down in tears and show how scared she is.  Lisa Nicole has a family history of breast cancer.

Dr. Jackie meets with a patient to discuss temporary and permanent birth control options.  The patient says she has had four children and that’s enough.  Dr. J who wants to make sure her patients are well-informed and understand that permanent sterilization means permanent, says “Who determines what is enough babies?”  Her patient replies: “My bank account!”  Amen, sister!

Turns out that Lisa Nicole’s cysts are fluid-filled with a low probability of being cancerous.  Even though the final cell analysis has not been completed, Lisa Nicole is running around shouting “No cancer!”  Lisa Nicole’s husband says: “If you pray, God answers your prayers.”  I am glad Lisa Nicole’s cysts were benign and I don’t mean to be Madame Buzzkill here, but one test doesn’t clear you for life.  And I am quite sure many people with cancer have prayed to God.  If prayer was all that was needed, we’d have a heck of a lot less cancer patients.  Not to sound like Dr. Jackie – but stay healthy, people and have regular check-ups!

Dr. Jackie meets with adoption consultant.  Um did I miss the episode where her husband said he now wants kids after saying he didn’t?  Nope, evidently not because Jackie tells Simone to whisper so her husband doesn’t hear!

Jackie begins crying and we see a window into the pain of being a woman who cannot have children who is constantly surrounded by patients who can have children.  Dr. Jackie says that the hardest part will be getting her husband onboard.  This just seems like a recipe to divorce for me.

Fashion Designer Reco and Quad need to have puppy couture samples done in 30 days to show potential investors.  Cut to a montage of Quad carting rolls of fabric like a hired hand.  I can hear the “Laverne & Shirley” (or “2 Broke Girls” if you’re a young’un) theme song playing as Reco & Quad flit around the fabric warehouse.

Once again we hear another “How was the WEN conference?” rehash. Hello, we saw what happened in the episode.  Do we need to hear all the rehashing with catty commentary and biatchy allegations?  Girl, yawn.

Reco claims Mariah rents not owns her house.  Quad claims this is another thing Mariah is lying about. Reco tells Quad she needs to invite Mariah to her next charity event – breast cancer awareness fashion show.  Quad looks scared but says she wants to rebuild her friendship with Mariah.  Tune in next week!