‘RHONY’ Finale Recap: Bethenny Frankel & Luann de Lesseps Face Off After Cheating News Blowout!

The Real Housewives of New York begins right where we left off, with Luann absorbing Bethenny’s upsetting disclosure about Tom. Luann briefly escapes, then returns to Bethenny, to see the incriminating evidence with her own eyes. She checks out the photos of a bald guy mauling a floozy, while Bethenny adds a bonus jab—that Tom stuck the chick with the check. 

Luann gets nauseous and runs out, seeking refuge with the two women who care—Jules and Dorinda. Luann shows them the photos, and they ask questions about timelines, questioning when the incident went down. They remind Luann that Tom makes out with everyone, sooner or later. Ramona, Sonja and Carole rush to a dramatically weeping Bethenny’s side, building up their master after her courageous delivery. Bethenny babbles that she wasn’t cruelly gossiping—pointing out that reality cameras work both ways.

Luann returns to talk, and Bethenny spills that she did a full-out investigation, calling bartenders and faking an identity, under the argument that sadistically gathering proof was a must. Bethenny then drops the bomb that she had been gossiping like an overexcited middle-schooler, and Luann is noticeably hurt. Meanwhile, Ramona is in the midst of a hysterical Mario flashback, and Sonja is still ranting about being with Tom. Bethenny hilariously counsels Luann on what determines a healthy relationship—perhaps hoping to coax an involuntary smirk. Tom phones in to face the music, and Luann blasts him for being a wasted man-whore, and humiliating her all over Manhattan. Bethenny bleats out details in the background like a sportscaster, trying to control how Luann delivers the verbal beatdown. Tom blames the make-out sesh to one too many, as Bethenny shoots judgmental glares from the side. Tom’s explanation sounds lame, as he claims to not recall the seedy incident. Tom promises to be a good boy, but Luann doesn’t know what to think. Luann begs the girls to change the subject, and leave her to deal with her heartbreak in peace.

Luann, or editors, change their minds, and Luann rejoins Bethenny for a healthy man-hatin’ session. Luann calms down a little, so Bethenny twists the knife, with another upsetting detail. Bethenny is shaky from the trauma—but a swig from a Skinnygirl bottle—label up—takes care of the jitters. Bethenny brings up the theory that Tom is after Lu’s money, chattering 90 mph, like a strung-out car salesman. Sonja and Ramona continue to blather in the other room, as Bethenny assures Luann that the on-camera disclosure was for the best. Both Carole and Bethenny make the call that Luann will stay with Tom.

The women return to the city, and Luann checks into a hotel, to clear her head before she meets with Tom. Luann is committed to making a wise decision, but doesn’t want to throw away her future marriage. Luann still feels like she may puke in Tom’s tawdry lap, and hopes that they can jump the hurdle, without Tom face-planting into another cheap barfly. 

We jump to Dorinda’s, where Ramona is popping in for a visit. The duo discusses the drama, as we shift over to Bethenny, who is welcoming Carole. Carole begins snuffling around for a snack, as Bethenny launches into her post—blab analysis, sharing that Luann had been blowing her off. Bethenny reveals that she felt a brief flash empathy for another human being—an admission that shocks about a million Bravo viewers. The miracle was short-lived, because Lu blew her sympathy points, by reacting in an unacceptable manner. Bethenny believes that Lu was more embarrassed than anything—perhaps because the upset played out on REALITY TV. Nevertheless,

Luann is wrong and Bethenny is right….especially when she likens herself to the devil. Bethenny proclaims Luann a self-conscious love-faker—sort of like her televised romance with “THEM,” aka Jason Hoppy. Dorinda dishes that Luann called from the Regency the night before, with a bizarre strategy to have the staff of the hotel spill the tea, with Dorinda acting as cast peacemaker. Tom apparently had a hissy fit with the confused Dorinda, and threatened to disinvite her to the wedding. Bethenny and Carole also hash out the crapstorm, and surmise that Luann and Tom will simply excuse away the scandal.

A new day dawns, and Bethenny’s fiesta finale party is set for that night. Luann reveals how Tom explained the incident—which she describes as a “stupid kiss.” Tom claims that the blackout slobber-session meant nothing, and Luann adds that he got plastered after a lover’s spat, and fell into the clutches of another. The couple is going to work through Tom’s memory lapses, and the disastrous “mistake.”

It’s time for a fiesta, and the women gather for Bethenny’s party. The place looks like a deserted Pier One, with a few clearance discards tacked to the walls. Bethenny runs down all of the relationship failures in the cast, while gazing at Carole and Adam. Bethenny proclaims the couple the icky winner, while chomping at the loaned-from-Carole bit to spill that Dennis is about to knock Adam’s vegan ass out of first place. Adam has cut his hair, dramatically transforming the chef into a grubby guy with shorter hair. Luann arrives, and tells Bethenny that she and Tom are working through the setback, a decision which Bethenny immediately shades. Sonja shows up with Rocco, and Ramona enters with an escort, probably paid. John and Dorinda arrive, as Bravo gives us a clear shot of Bethenny’s bony chest gap—and her east/west implants.

Bethenny is featuring a jewelry stuffed piñata, and Dorinda is excited to brawl for the loot. Luann experiences a few oversensitive moments, obviously jumpy from being dragged through the gossip trenches. Ramona offers Luann advice, which she soundly rejects, and we learn that Jules and Michael are about to celebrate their 8th—and last—anniversary. Bethenny confronts Jules about her past back-talk, and Jules blames Dorinda for pushing her into the scary confrontation. Bethenny gets into it with Dorinda, and Dorinda waves her arms around as she explains her position. Bethenny screeches that her feelings are valid, and anyone who doesn’t believe it, is as stupid as Jules. Bethenny speaks truth when she nails Dorinda as a sh*t-stirrer, and Dorinda doesn’t disagree. Dorinda and Ramona giggle about the diss, and Dorinda points out that because she exists drunk, she tends to forget her village idiocy. Bethenny fakes nice-nice with Jules, but Jules sees through it, noting that you can’t take the “B” out of Boss.

The women frolic in the photo booth, and decide that because they are filming the finale, that they don’t hate each other’s guts. Bethenny’s boobs pull Luann aside to talk, and Luann tells them to stay out her biz. Bethenny is horrified that Lu is committed to Tom, post bar-romp, and labels her as one who turns a blind eye to cheating. Luann reminds her that she is a grownup—and asks her to please try and manage shutting up. Luann flounces out, commenting that her life in a bubble is better than eating tacos and drinking rancid booze with these bitches. The bitches huddle, wring their hands, and use words such as “tragic,” to describe their poor delusional friend. Dorinda is happy about Luann’s exit, hoping to score a shot at more Skinnygirl stamped jewelry. The gals whack the branded margarita piñata, and rip it open like diamond-starved animals. Bethenny barks out her generous prizes to anyone who will listen. 

Sonja wraps the season noting that she is sober and still dating Rocco. Jules and Michael have split, Dorinda is still with John, and Carole is still flopped on her couch, doing nothing with the herb-thrower. Ramona is whoring around the city, and Luann and Tom are still planning their wedding. We are informed that the banshee nightmare we witnessed all season was actually Bethenny being “at peace,” which provides an appropriately scary ending to a frightening season.

We are officially reunion bound—and it looks like an epic one!

 

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