Chrisley Knows Best Recap: ‘Hey Chloe, It’s Your Birthday!’ [Episode 8]

It is time for the season one finale of “Chrisley Knows Best.”  I realize this show is a bit hokey, but I have to say I was happy to watch an episode about a one year old’s birthday party instead of the Real Housewives ripping each other apart, figuratively and literally!

It is three days before Todd’s Granddaughter Chloe’s first birthday party.  Todd wants a huge extravaganza.  Julie thinks that is over the top for a child who cannot even walk yet.  Todd thinks it would be easy to throw together a big party at the last moment.  Julie bets him that he cannot do it without a party planner.  They make a bet over a new piece of jewelry for Julie.

With the assistance of unofficial party planners, Chase and Savannah; Todd decides to go with a Pink Princess party.  He declares that there must be both cake and cupcakes.  A man after my own heart.

Chase and Todd go to the store to stock up on goodies.  However Chase has no clue where the grocery store is, so after a playful slap fight with his Dad over the volume of the GPS they pull up in front of an all natural market.  Todd declares that gluten-free cookies are not what he is looking for!  He calls his assistant Tonya and says he let his mouth overload his ass.  Todd says while he cannot hire a party planner, Tonya can.  Hello loophole!  Tonya says “Next time don’t wait until the last minute.”

Savannah is on her way to the party supply store when she gets pulled over for speeding 25 miles over the limit.  This girl needs to go back to drivers’ ed!  She explains that she was only trying to help Todd with his “Let’s go extravagant!” mission.  Todd says that is not an excuse to speed.  Evidently the speeding ticket affected Savannah’s taste because she purchased yellow balloons and zebra stripe balloons for the Pink Princess party.  Todd orders her to take everything back!

Todd declares that the colors for the party are “pink and lavender.”  With his Southern drawl, I had a flashback to Julia Roberts saying her colors are “Blush and Bashful” in the movie “Steel Magnolias.”  Oh I love my chick flicks!

Todd tells Julie about Savannah’s speeding as he violently squeezes a stress ball like he’s trying to make wine out of it. 

Meanwhile at Todd’s mother’s house, son Kyle is feeding his soon to be 1 year old daughter Chloe.  Todd says “Poppa is going to give you the biggest party ever.”  Chloe claps and smiles.

The morning of the party, Todd is interrogating his assistant Tonya on the details.  She confirms everything is ordered and ready.  Todd asks “But what are you going to do about this rain?”  Tonya says “I am sorry, I am not God.” 

Savannah is rocking a 60’s headband and ponytail.  Did my cat switch the channels on the remote?  Am I watching a remake of The Valley of the Dolls?  Despite her chic look, she receives six months without her car as punishment for speeding.  Savannah looks non-plussed and says her parents will soon get tired of taking her places.

Kyle, Chase and Savannah spend their time sucking helium out of balloons.  Todd watches them and remarks: “I’m surrounded by stupid and stupid is forever.”  Yes another fine Todd Chrisley line for the season finale!

A bounce house, petting zoo with animals wearing hats and cupcakes galore.  But one thing – the topper on the cake is broken.  Chase wants to superglue it back on.  Nothing like a poisoning at a 1 year old’s birthday party!  Todd dissects the top of the cake to stick the topper back in.  He says it is like playing the game “Operation.”  Todd remarks exasperatedly:  “I don’t even know how a 1 year old’s party can get this screwed up.”

Minor drama with an overflowing punch spigot.  Chase blames assistant Tonya.  Despite all the insanity, Julie declares it to be the perfect party for a one year old.  Savannah comes out now dressed as a Princess.  Chase says she looks like a cross between a Princess and a drag queen.

Savannah paints the faces of party guests.  Chase says “She made my Grandmother look like she passed out in a frat house!”  Todd makes a grand proclamation that he worked so hard to pull this party together but now he also has a greater appreciation for all the hard work his wife Julie does. 

At the end of the episode, Julie declares Todd the winner of the bet but he still pulls out a gigantic diamond ring for Julie anyway.  With all the alleged bankruptcy filing gossip about the Chrisleys, I wonder if the ring is cubic zirconia. 

In the typical “Chrisley Knows Best” lovey-dovey warm Southern family moment; Grayson, Chase and Savannah climb into bed with Julie and Todd.  Savannah tries to take advantage of the moment by negotiating her punishment from 6 months without a car to four weeks instead.  Julie is not buying what Savannah is trying to sell.

Julie and Todd tell the kids to get out of their bed.  Todd points to the kids and says “That’s why they make locks.”

“Chrisley Knows Best” has been renewed for a second season on USA Network.