Luann de Lesseps Feels Carole Radziwill Has Crawled Too Far Up “Bethenny’s Anus” Too Hear Her Apology #RHONY

Luann de Lesseps, aka The Countess, throws plenty of shade in her Real Housewives of New York blog this week, even as she claims to take the high road. So, let’s wrap a fur-trimmed negligee around our shoulders and sip mimosas while we get down to it and spill the tea.

First up, Luann is put out that Bethenny Frankel is talking about her dating and drinking habits. Hey, she’s a grown ass countess who can drink and screw whomever she pleases. Got it, beyotches?

“As I watched this episode and heard what some of the ladies had to say about me, it became apparent which girls are my true friends and which are not. With Bethenny, once she stops talking to you, she starts talking about you. She’s obviously been drinking the Carole Kool-Aid.”

Everyone has Kool-Aid! What is Carole’s flavor? I’m thinking gin and pad Thai. But unfortunately, LuLu can’t keep her aspersions straight. Though she claims Bethenny believes every word out of Carole’s mouth, she later says this:

“Carole can’t pass up the chance to judge me, and she has crawled so far up Bethenny’s anus that she can’t hear me saying that I wish her and Adam all the best.”

So which is it? Is Carole the pied piper or the butt puppet? Either way, Carole is obviously still enemy #1.

“As for her making a Luann “pros and cons” list, grow up! At least I’m honest about who I am and what I do. I apologize when I’m wrong and move on. I’m not a person who dwells in the past.”

Luann likes to judge her cast mates for judging her. And that, kittens, is what we call the circle of life.

“You will hear some of the ladies judge me for my active dating life, but at least I’m dating! Do you ever hear me judging the other girls about who they date? NO, because it’s none of my business.”

She’s also moved into that ramshackle mansion with Sonja Morgan. She talks about finding her forever fella while Sonja burns sage in the kitchen to ward off the lingering spirit of Cindy Barshop.

“I’ve been having so much fun staying with Sonja while I look for an apartment. She’s a very positive person, and she’s been a good friend to me throughout the years. As I told Sonja, I’d love to meet Mr. Right and get remarried. I’m a hopeless romantic, and I’ve never stopped believing in true love.”

Speaking of true love:

“Why do the girls care who Dorinda dates? Like she says, she’s married, buried, she pays her own way, and she can do what she wants with whom she chooses…”

Yes, but she also dates John, so Dorinda’s taste is questionable. Nevertheless, she’s earned Luann’s respect.

“As you can see, while Bethenny and Carole are dissing me at the lingerie party, Dorinda and Jules didn’t join in the slander. Dorinda’s a great friend, and I’m glad she’s in my corner.”

Also this season, Ramona Singer is single and on the prowl. She’s distancing herself from Sonja’s drunken antics and casting those crazy eyes toward every man with a ringless finger. Luann approves.

“I admire how Ramona has moved on from Mario. She’s made her apartment a Mario-free zone, took down the curtains and is letting the light shine on her home and her life. She went through a tough time last year no doubt but I must say, divorce suits her.”

What Luann doesn’t like is the way Ramona went in hard on Dorinda by attacking John in front of the other women.

“…the way she treated Dorinda in front of the other ladies was deplorable. Dorinda handled the situation as best as she could while under attack. That’s not what friends do.”

No, but it’s what Housewives do, and damn it, we wouldn’t have it any other way.

Should Carole and Bethenny lay off Luann? Or is the Countess getting everything she deserves? And if Luann doesn’t want to judge Dorinda’s boyfriend, we can! So judge away, All About the Tea’ers.

 

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