RECAP: Million Dollar Listing San Francisco “I Don’t Have Time For This, Tiny Man!” [Season Finale]

I can’t believe it’s already the season finale for Season One of Million Dollar Listing: San Francisco.  It was great to see the gorgeous (but woefully overpriced) real estate of Northern California, but after nine episodes I am still not OK with Justin’s crazy hair. 

We start straight off with the scene last week’s episode previewed – the fight between Justin and Roh.  Justin brought his Austin Powers throwback seller to Roh’s open house.  Roh starts calling Justin out.  But in a battle of words, Justin goes for the physicality.  He tells Roh he needs an a**kicking and then starts waving his finger in Roh’s face.  It is clear that Justin does not have the snark skills of Andrew or Roh.  He gets flustered when Roh starts calling him out and has no swagger talk to throw back at him.  Eventually Justin walks out, but Roh can’t let go of the name-calling. He mocks Justin’s leaving telling him to “walk out like the bi*** you are” which brings Justin back into the room, even more seething with anger.  (Probably because he STILL cannot give a snappy comeback to Roh’s taunts!  I am waiting for a “I know you are, but what am I?”) 

Roh accuses Justin of being born with a silver spoon in his mouth.  Justin tells Roh he dresses like a cheeseball from Miami.  (Hey, I live in Florida – we don’t dress like cheeseballs, we dress like strippers!  Kidding!  Don’t hate me, fellow Floridians!”  Once again Justin storms out, unable to defend himself in a battle of words.  Justin complains to his Austin Powers seller that Roh is being an a**hole.  Way to whine to your client, Justin!

Back in Tiburon with Andrew and the jaw wired shut Louis- son of Andrew’s client.  In last week’s episode, Andrew uncharacteristically rides an old time bicycle into the indoor pool.  Louis’ mom asks to meet with Andrew and he feels like he is about to be fired from the biggest listing of his career.  Louis’ mom tells Andrew that Louis is very unhappy and asks Andrew to explain himself with the bicycle in the pool.  In a classic Bravo twist, Louis’ mom tells Andrew she thought it was hilarious!  This is a woman with good taste!  Louis – despite his wired jaw – starts sputtering.  Mama Tiburon starts chastising Louis telling him he has the opportunity to work with one of the best real estate agents in San Francisco and he needs to stop complaining.  Andrew is happy – “It’s about time this little sh*t got schooled.”  But then Mama Tiburon tells Andrew she needs Louis to work collaboratively with Louis and they need to stop bickering.  She makes them shake hands. 

Am I a freak for wanting to see a Bravo spin off of strong women telling Andrew what to do?  I think I have just uncovered a whole new kinky side!  Andrew is ecstatic and thoroughly surprised that he was not fired.  Louis looks like he wants to find a pair of pliers to take the wires off his jaw to tell Andrew thoroughly what he thinks of him!  The title of this episode should be “Boys can’t get along.”

Justin says he regrets losing his temper with Roh, but that his Firehouse listing is his number one priority.  He needs to do everything he can to get the five level unit sold.  Evidently San Franciscans hate boxy floor plans and lots of stairs.  Justin has some private showings to stimulate interest.  I have to say I am a sucker for a theme property.  The prospective sellers complain about the squares and say the unit is disjointed.  The seller has a goofy bowtie and isn’t buying what Justin is trying to sell.

Cut to Roh working out at a boxing gym – he is getting ready for his next fight with Justin?  Roh sent his prospective buyers an apology note for having the verbal sparring match in front of them.  He said it was very unprofessional behavior.  Ya think??

Back to Andrew and Louis in Tiburon.  Andrew had told Louis to stop giving childhood stories as selling points.  Well evidently the wired jaw Louis got the memo because he starts talking about the architectural details. But then he starts telling the sellers which rooms he and his siblings studied in.  However Louis did get the memo because he starts giving props to Andrew – who looks like he is about to fall over in shock!  The seller says they make a great team.  The producers tell Andrew that he and Louis are like Abbott and Costello.  When Andrew says he doesn’t know who they are, he shrugs and says “I’m thirty one.”

Justin has to give the hard news to his Firehouse seller.  He tells her to take it off the market, put in an elevator and make some of the design changes.  It would be over $100,000 and the seller doesn’t want to do it. She says there is no guarantee that she would recoup her money.  The seller pulls the listing from Justin, although she says she may consider having Justin back as the listing agent.  What??? Seriously? 

The Andrew and Louis love fest continues – they’re wearing the same shirt!  Andrew says he and Louis are like best friends now!  Andrew is more best friends with the $500,000 commission he wants to make.  He brings a $17 million dollar offer on the $20 million dollar house.  But don’t spend your commission too soon Andrew, because the Tiburon sellers want a buyer who is going to love the house as much as they do.  Keep the emotions out of real estate!  The sellers said they are willing to wait “Two – three – four years” for the right buyer.  Are you kidding me?  I wish I was that wealthy!

Justin has a client who is interested in Roh’s property.  Justin tries to side step Roh and work with the co-listing agent, but he’s on his way to Peru and tells Justin he needs to work with Roh.  Justin makes a noise that I make whenever I have to go to the gym – a sigh of resignation and disgust!

Andrew gets a phone call from a broker who wants to rent the $20 million Tiburon property for eight months for his client.  Who rents a $20 million dollar house for eight months?  Again, I wish I was THAT wealthy!  I’d be the most awesome billionaire ever.  Let’s make this happen!

Roh has a bidding war for his property.  Roh and Justin meet.  Roh tells Justin he hopes he left his ego and pride at the door.  That is going to be my new line any time I meet someone!  It takes a lot of ego and pride to start a conversation telling someone else to leave their ego and pride at the door! Ha!  Roh starts schooling Justin in a very condescending manner as he tells Justin he needs to do deals with respect.  Now Roh is the one to start poking his finger at Justin.  But this time Justin is not going to rise to the occasion.  He walks out and starts spewing a string of profanity out on the sidewalk.  He then walks back in to the restaurant.  He says he needs to get this deal done today. 

Roh is giddy that he has a bidding war. Justin is not amused.  Roh says he loves pushing Justin’s buttons and watching Justin’s hair puff up more and more.  He is so loving this that I am surprised he’s not dancing a little jig as he slurps his strawberry lemonade.

The seller is ecstatic that the potential renter is an executive with four children, offering $85,000 a month for 8 months.  Louis says trying to have his entire family move out for 8 months and trying to find 8 month leases is difficult.  He also wants more money – $100,000 a month and a 12 month lease.  Andrew will get $100,000 commission as a rental finder’s fee, so he’s up for the negotiation.  The seller comes back with $100,000 a month, 10 months max.  $1,000,000!  Damn!  The seller’s mom agrees to it.  Nice!  The producers ask Andrew if he’ll ever work with Louis again.  Andrew runs away!

Roh is trying to stoke the bidding war so that Justin increases his offer.  Roh starts making fun of Justin’s clothes, still smarting from that Miami cheeseball comment.  Justin raises his offer to $1.4 million even though he has approval to go as high as $1.45.  Roh agrees to the $1.4 million offer.  They both are secretly gloating, but the deal is done!

The producers tell Justin that he has very interesting hair.  Justin says his pride and joy is his hair – “a nest of goodness.”  The producers tell Justin he is bringing sexy back.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  I think the producers have a crush on Justin!  Calm down, people!

Justin moves out of the house with his roommates to a new apartment.  It always surprises me when real estate agents don’t own their own property.  Justin is in a one bedroom penthouse with a killer view.  Justin’s sister returns.  She says that when they were kids Justin would pretend he was lord of the manor and his sister was the maid.  Um, ok….

Andrew and his fiancé Paul visit a construction site.  He surprises Paul by telling him it is his new office – that Papa has got to expand!  OK Papa! 

Roh, his wife and his beautiful infant daughter are having a picnic in the park with his gay couple sellers and their adopted daughter.  They were happy that Roh got them $1.4 million.  Roh says he is fortunate to continue to learn and is blessed.  After an episode that seemed to threaten violence, it was a good end to a lot of childish bickering.

What did you think of season one of Million Dollar Listing San Francisco?  Tell me your thoughts in the comments section below.

 

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