Real Housewives of New York Recap: ‘Holla In The Hamptons’ [Episode 4]

 

 [Photo: Bravotv]

Last night’s episode of The Real Housewives of New York begins with Sonja Morgan rehearsing her latest cabaret masterpiece. Sonja showed up late and the back-up dancers tried to choreograph the show, but realized she’s the woman in charge — all she wants to do is “bring the sexy and improvise!” Sonja cracks a few jokes and flirts with her (gay) friend, who is being used as prop in the performance. She’s not taking the performance very seriously since she’s a professional and saw a recent episode of The Great Gatsby. No big deal, Sonja’s got this!

The ladies are heading to the Hampton’s to attend Sonja’s Caburlesque showcase to benefit charity. A Sonja Morgan creation, a combination of cabaret and burlesque. Sonja arrives to the Hampton’s first with a gang of  interns to cater to her every whim. Sonja luckily has a team of interns on-hand to provide counsel in whatever difficulty may arise. She’s staying at borrowed house of a friend and is grateful for hot water. Sonja admits she doesn’t have hot water at her New York townhouse because it’s too expensive.  At this point, I start to feel really bad for Sonja. I hadn’t realized her finances were in such distress. Thank God for free labor through her interns to keep the old clunker running.

[Photo: Bravotv]

The ladies gather for some pre-show cocktails and gossip. The Countess returns finally and continues to make the best incredulous faces when prompted. LuAnn and Aviva reunited in the most Gatsby inspired outfits of all time! Kristen and LuAnn meet and seem to hit it off from the get-go. Amanda Sanders, Image Consultant, makes another appearance and plants herself squarely in the fray. The ladies were curious about Amanda from the start of the night (example: ordering a martini in a plastic cup), but things only got worse when she started throwing shade at their BFF, Sonja! Ms. Sanders is working hard to hold an apple with the other ladies, she’s coming off as forced and bit desperate for camera time.

[Photo: Bravotv]

Sonja hits the stage and has fun with it. The old gal looks amazing for her age! Nothing is jiggling or out of place on Sonja Morgan’s body. And although it wasn’t a well planned performance, she did not look like an absolute fool. That’s what I love about Sonja, she’s easy going “girl just want to have fun” harlot. She don’t give a damn about nothing. She saw The Great Gatsby, so she thinks that everyone should dress up like it’s the ’20s. Sonja is just trying to have fun. And who cares that she is about to get out on stage in her under garments and shake her ass? Sure, she’s rehearsed a few times, but there no script and no choreography. I gotta give her credit for not giving a damn and doing it.

Amanda made the most rude and offensive remarks throughout Sonja’s entire performance. At one point, she said “That’s what menopause looks like.”  Heather, especially was not amused by Amanda’s ill-mannered comments. I couldn’t help but laugh at some of her clever digs and the fact she was getting under Heather’s skin!

Who the hell is Amanda Sanders, Image Consultant? And can she return the garbage heap she crawled out of? Too bad Ramona wasn’t there to put this bitch in her place.

LuAnn is the Hamptons hostess with the most-est! Her BBQ is one summer party we wish we got the invite to. No amount of Pinot could stop #BookGate from spilling over into the Hamptons. Carole conveniently apologizes to LuAnn for her condensing and rude remarks last season and Luann accepts. But Aviva is convinced that Carole’s apology is insincere and a calculated chess move. I think Aviva is spot on!

[Photo: Bravotv]

Sonja, Aviva, Kristen and Amanda are gathered in LuAnn’s sun room to discuss the matter at hand. Heather once again inserts her Toucan Sam beak into the drama, adding fuel to the fire. Sonja makes the best point that having a publisher in itself is a major accomplishment and Carole should have been supportive. Heather immediately starts defending Carole and shit hits the fan. Kristen sits there like a light bulb blew in her head making uncomfortable faces.

As soon as Heather inserts her beak, the conversation quickly devolves into an uncivil screaming match. Everyone is yelling and talking on top of each other. Nothing makes sense anymore and the intended purpose of the conversation is  consigned to oblivion.

[Photo: Bravotv]

Then Amanda Sanders, jumps into the fight to defend Aviva and everything is taken up to level ten when Heather feels her street cred tested. Amanda decided to say “Not everyone is equally as brilliant…or is as great of a writer”, to which Heather asked what everyone else was thinking — “What are you talking about, Amanda?” And after Amanda said that, Heather gave her an open invitation to deck her.

Heather ask her what her problem is and Amanda tells her, “Don’t be an asshole and walk away” Amanda leaves the room and Heather chase behind her. The two of them are screaming at other and the episode ends.

The Hamptons is supposed to be a place where the wealthy unwind not get into trashy fights. They were better off saving the gas and kept their butts home.