RECAP: Real Housewives of New York “A Different Side of Sonja Emerges” [Episode 13]

Drinking game alert! Anytime the words “drinking problem” are mentioned on “The Real Housewives of New York,” tonight — take a swig of your favorite beachside cocktail. Those were the most overused words of the night and Andy Cohen would be proud of us for playing along. The ladies are settling in for the evening in the Turks & Caicos and Bethenny has finally stopped yelling STFU at Sonja.

Ramona and Bethenny sit down outside to reflect on their recent crazy meal. They discuss Sonja’s “drinking problem” and how she won’t own it. Bethenny says that since she’s not a doctor she won’t use the word, alcoholic, but each of them, especially Sonja, are self-medicating in some way. Ramona mumbles about Sonja needing a man and how she didn’t use to talk about Sonja’s drinking. Next, they move the conversation onto Mario and Ramona’s failing marriage, so of course, they begin crying. I thought we were told no more tears?! The two hug it out and fall onto the sofa cushions.

The following morning the yoga instructor arrives. Carole goes to check on a topless Luann at the beach who at first doesn’t want to do yoga after her fabulous swim in the ocean, until she sees the yoga instructor, that is. Then she’s all in. Sonja checks on Dorinda who has the room she originally wanted but Ramona made her switch. Dorinda informs Sonja that she’s a follower. Still upset over last night, Sonja explains she doesn’t mind being told she has a “drinking problem” but you must do so in a civil tone, unlike Bethenny. Sonja then demonstrates Bethenny’s yelling. The ladies doing yoga outside can hear every word and it’s killing their chakra.

Dorinda explains to Sonja that this is unacceptable, but only Sonja can stop it. Sonja then complains about Heather talking shit behind her back and then how Sonja’s not sleeping with every guy out there. Sonja is starting to lose it. Trying to cool the situation, Dorinda tells Sonja it’s only about tonight and how she handles it. This seems to work. The door cracks open and we see Bethenny and Luann eavesdropping. Sonja announces there will be no discussing her tonight and Dorinda should be a life-coach.

As Ramona and Sonja take a walk on the beautiful beach, Bethenny can be seen in the distance paddle-boarding. Ramona breaks the news to Sonja that everyone named Bethenny thinks she has a “drinking problem.” Meanwhile, Ramona completely downplays her own part in the conversation. As Sonja defends that she’s never been that trashed, Bethenny walks up and asks what the problem is. Sonja says, “Ramona says you think I have a ‘drinking problem.’” To which Bethenny responds, “So does Ramona.” Ramona pleads the fifth and mea culpa and anything else that extracts her from any responsibility.

Bethenny informs Sonja that everyone says she goes after their boyfriends when she drinks. Sonja denies this along with her “drinking problem” and Bethenny calls out Ramona for not admitting to her part. Luann sashays out to the beach in the green-striped dress from her collection with two plates of eggs said with a pretentious French accent. Sonja tells Bethenny to get out of her shit. When Sonja asks Luann what she thinks, the Countess apprehensively tells Sonja that at the end of the evening, she often falls asleep and needs to be put to bed. Sonja is livid. Heather walks up with, “Stop yelling, Mama” and “calm down” both of which are completely useless. Sonja wants everyone to stop talking behind her back about her “drinking problem.” Bethenny reminds Sonja that she made the “drinking problem” comment directly to her face.

Heather tells Sonja to get in the pool and cool the eff off. Sonja is trying to be nice, but “Nice doesn’t work with these people!” Life-coach Dorinda is flabbergasted and can’t reel in her first and only client. The ladies discuss that no one else in the group needs to be taken home after a night out on the town (except Carole after her LSD gummy-bear experience). Bethenny gets Dorinda to admit that she is worried that something might happen to Sonja because of her “drinking problem.” Sonja exclaims that it’s not about the drinking, but no one is listening.

The women agree that they will pay $100 if they talk about Sonja again to whatever charity Bethenny wants. Heather promptly pays up because she’s eager to share a story with Carole about Sonja participating in a three-some. Of course this doesn’t bother Carole, so the gossip goes nowhere. But get this – Kristen is suddenly sitting at the kitchen table. Until now, I didn’t even notice she was missing. My bad. Ramona tells the women that no one wants to be attacked and Bethenny tells Ramona this is all her fault for saying that she called Sonja an alcoholic.

It’s time for a boat trip, but surprise, surprise, Sonja doesn’t want to be trapped on a boat with these crazy ladies, so she’s not going. We learn that Luann goes commando, which leads to a discussion on landing strips versus Brazilians, then they briefly chastise Ramona for the shit storm she started, and vow to send a “we miss you” text to Sonja. Ramona sits on Luann’s lap and they all have a good chuckle over Luann’s joke to spank the bad girl. We are shown periodic shots of Sonja all alone, looking at dirty plates, lifting weights, and doing squats in wedges. It’s sad. Sonja should be on that boat trip. It’s wrong that she wasn’t begged or bribed into going.

Heather pranks Ramona with an ice-bucket challenge and Ramona is a good sport about it, however, Dorinda looks like she wants to charter a different boat and sail off into a different sunset.

When they return to the house Bethenny and Heather get a couples’ massage and talk about who is the more annoying of the two. It’s a tie, ladies! When Ramona tries to kiss and make up with Sonja, Sonja says she’s not going to let her hair down if she’s going to get crucified later. I mean really, people, she’s on vacation. Let her get sober next week. And like Sonja explains it, people fall into bed with men all the time. It happens, especially during Superbowl, but you just don’t talk about it.

On the way to the restaurant, Dorinda gets into a spat with Heather for not waiting for the group. It’s just good manners to wait, but Dorinda is in tears over Heather’s dismissive responses and tells her she’s acting like a bitch. The two eventually make up at dinner and fun Dorinda is back. Sonja is quiet, but at least there’s no more discussion of her “drinking problem.” A montage of Mario and Ramona in happier times is shown and Ramona actually gives Heather good advice about strong women married to weak men: they need to feel important, too. Everyone agrees sometimes love isn’t enough.

The next day, as Bethenny is in the kitchen making lunch for the ladies, Ramona announces she wants to go out for lunch and it shouldn’t matter because it’s only a salad. It’s not like Bethenny took time and dedication to make it. Bethenny calls Ramona a manic and says this isn’t Ramona’s world.

Tune in next week for more fun in the sun, though I do believe we are all headed for a burn.

And hopefully, after reading this, no one has their own “drinking problem.”

 

“Like” us on Facebook  “Follow” us on Twitter and on Instagram