Don’t Be Tardy Recap: Kim Talks Turds, Solo Cups, and Nipples [Episode 3]

It’s typical chaos for the Biermann bunch in Hotlanta. Kim is having abdominal pain and goes to see her OB/GYN again! He comes into the room and says “What are you doing here again?”. She explains her symptoms and he gives her an ultrasound. Luckily she is not pregnant again. That is music to her ears. The Doctor suggests “One of these days we may just sew the vagina shut.” They all have a good laugh. Seriously after having four children in two and a half years, until you figure out a permanent solution for birth control, it may not be a bad idea!

Back at their mansion, Kroy is working out. Kim comes in and tells him that she wants to do squats to work on her “fat ass.” She wants to start working out. Yes she said that. We ALL know Kim is not one do anything physical – except sex – much less workout. He tells her that she should do cardio.

Kim then tells Kroy that they seriously need do something about birth control. She wants him to take one for the team. More importantly, after having six children, she wants a boob job & a tummy tuck. Once she gets those done she warns him that if he gets her pregnant again she will kill him.

Kroy caves and tells her to make the appointment to get him a vasectomy. Then he asks what if the doctor cuts the wrong nerve and he can’t get hard. Talk turns to his c*ck and how big it is. She says it is so big that he could use it as his third leg. As she walks out of the room she mentions how good she looks.

The pool boy-man is working outside. Kim is kitchen with the kids. Arianna walks outside and starts chatting with him. She tells him he is bored. He asks Arianna how old she is. She is 12. TWELVE! NOT EVEN A TEENAGER YET. Lana tells Kim she out there flirting. Kim tells us how boy crazy Arianna is and that we all know Kim was born looking for d*ck but Arianna is out of control. Like mother like daughter. I suspect Arianna will earn her place on MTV’s “16 and Pregnant.” Kim goes outside and tells her to come in the house. She tells us that Arianna will pay her back for what she did to her parents. Kim says that she is going to get rid of the pool boy-man.

Kim’s friend Jen comes over. She is pregnant and makes fun of Christmas trees still being up. Kim tells her to just wait until she has her baby. Then she will understand that there isn’t a lot of time to get things done. Seriously with ALL of the so-called help in the house things STILL can’t be done? Just what DOES Sweetie do?

Kim wants a glass of wine in a Solo cup. She thinks Solo cups make everything easier. Of course because doing things the easy way is what Kim does best. Jen mentions that she having a girl. She wants to know what the secret is because Kim’s kids are so happy. Kim thinks she should write a book. I’m still waiting for the book she said she was writing a few years ago. You know the one about how to land your own Big Papa. She suggests breast feeding to Jen. They talk about nipple size. Kim tells Jen that Kroy was sucking on hers 2 months before the babies were born to get them ready.

Kim tells Jen that about after the baby is born your p*ssy hurts, you’re tired; you are this you are that. More complaining from Kim.

It’s V-day for Kroy. They are driving to the doctor to get his vasectomy. KJ calls and asks where they are. Kim says they are going to the doctor to have dad’s package looked at. My eyes hurt at this point from doing so many eye rolls during this episode. Kim and Kroy talk about the difference between his appointment and having a doctor up her vagina for nine months.

It’s done. Kim is driving. Kroy gets in the car and looks in pain. Kim doesn’t like the computer map voice coming on every two seconds. She tells it to STFU.

At home they tell Sweetie about the vasectomy. Sweetie didn’t believe them at first and kept staring at Kroy’s crotch. They laugh and Kroy says it hurt. Kim tells him to ice it. She is getting her first period since babies were born and is in pain so she can’t help him. She calls for Lana.

Lana says that in her country they cut onions and place it on “bad spot” to cast out bad energy. She goes to get ice and they watch her on camera chopping onions. She comes back in the room with ice and chopped onion. Kroy says the ice feels good but the onions stink. Kim says it smells like rotten p*ssy. He wants to snuggle naked. They joke about how sex is always on his mind.

Next week we see getting ready for her “mommy body makeover.”

Until then,

Reality LuLu

 

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