‘Love Is Blind’ Therapist Breaks Down Uche and Lydia’s TOXIC Romance Drama!
Love Is Blind contestants, Uche Okoroha and Lydia Velez’s romantic history shook up Season 5 after the pair’s past dating relationship was revealed.
Lydia even claimed that the ex-couple had been intimate only three months before entering the pods.
Psychologist and reality TV fan, Kelsey Latimer, spoke to TODAY.com about the couple, reminding fans that producers choose personalities to fit dramatic narratives.
She told the outlet—”It’s important to understand that producers pick extreme personalities who may interact dramatically and play out on the drama train. It’s expected in any reality TV that that will happen — otherwise, it’ll bomb.”
Executive producer, Chris Coelen, told Variety that he was “totally blindsided” when he learned of the couple’s romantic history.
“It was a complete shock. To be honest, it was like, ‘What are we gonna do?’ Nobody had any idea,” Coelen said.
Coelen told the mag that producers intervened to shut down communication between Uche and Lydia, which led to the duo’s pursuit of other options, Uche with Aaliyah Cosby and Lydia with James “Milton” Johnson IV.
Uche and Lydia’s history continued to create issues as the pair tested the waters with different partners.
Aaliyah chose to leave the pods after speaking with Lydia in a conversation that was never fully disclosed. Lydia noted that she “saw herself” in Aaliyah, especially when she hit a bump in her new relationship with Uche.
“To this day, I don’t really know what her intentions were 100 percent,” Aaliyah told the outlet. “But I do feel like, after just having discussions with her, I understand where she may have been emotionally and what guided her decision making throughout everything — as far as just navigating having a friendship with me and having the past relationship with him.”
Aaliyah confirmed to Us Weekly that she and Uche dated briefly after the show but their relationship “didn’t work out.”
Lydia and Uche confronted their old issues during the seventh episode, with Lydia’s fiancé nearby. Uche accused Lydia of “stalking” women he followed on Instagram and Lydia accused Uche of cheating on her. Milton stood by Lydia after she and Uche hashed out their old grudges.
“I’m not really concerned about anyone that’s dated her in the past. The same way she wouldn’t care about anyone I’ve dated in the past. We were there because we both wanted the chance to potentially get married and find a partner,” Milton said.
Latimer described Uche and Lydia’s relationship as a “drama triangle.”
“The most healthy people get into these situations, too,” Latimer says. “It comes with life.”
She added — “There is someone in the victim role, rescue role and perpetrator role. “The idea with the triangle is that we don’t stay in one position. It’s a power play. We can start as a victim, be really upset, and become a perpetrator.”
Latimer noted that Lydia may have reacted on social media because she felt victimized by Uche’s infidelity, before assuming the role of Aaliyah’s defender.
“She’s her advocate, but not really, because she’s trying to get information,” Latimer explained. “That’s how confusing it is. We can move back and forth along the triangle.”
Latimer said that people, especially young people with little experience in relationships, can sometimes confuse “intensity” with “connection.”
Latimer said — “They get really excited. ‘The emotions are high, so that must mean I’m really interested. He or she is jealous, which must mean they like me.’”
The psychologist also explained that an “empowerment triangle,” which involves a creator, a coach and a challenger, is a healthier dynamic but not as “exciting” or dramatic.
“Everybody gets to have an equal center of power,” she said, adding that Lydia and Milton exhibit more of an empowerment triangle dynamic.
“They both have a voice, they listen and can be playful with each other. And they can fight fairly,” she noted.
She added — “They have disagreements, but have a foundation of care for each other. They don’t drag each other through the dirt, and instead focus it on the topic and what they don’t agree with,” she says. “That’s what i’m looking for in a healthy relationship. Not if there’s a disagreement or not, but how do you handle it?”
She credited the current season of “Love Is Blind” for illustrating how healthy and unhealthy relationships can bring out “different sides” of a person.
“When we’re not in the right relationship, it can bring out the negative side to all of us,” she said. “With an empowerment triangle, everybody has a voice. There’s not a power play.”
Raissa Asunbo is a Content Editor at All About The Tea. She lives in Toronto, Canada and enjoys reading, watching movies, traveling and spending time with her family.