‘RHOSLC’ RECAP: Lisa Barlow Suffers EPIC Meltdown and Explodes On Meredith Marks!
‘RHOSLC’ RECAP: Lisa Barlow Suffers EPIC Meltdown and Explodes On Meredith Marks!
This week on The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, the rant by Lisa Barlow about Meredith Marks is one that will go down in Housewives history! Will Mary Cosby continue to dodge accusations about herself and throw them at Jennie Nguyen? Meredith’s father’s memorial is still a front-and-center topic of conversation. And buckle up for another long van ride, this time with Meredith on board! Will there be fireworks or will it be a dud?
This episode opens this week with Lisa Barlow’s rant against Meredith. The footage of Lisa is shown again when she said, “Fake Meredith is a piece of sh–. That f—ing piece of sh– garbage whore. I f—ing hate her. She’s a whore. She’s f—ed half of New York. She can go f— herself.” Meanwhile Mary is at Meredith’s bedroom door, but Meredith makes her beg to come in.
Jennie Nguyen shows up to Lisa Barlow’s bedroom door, but Lisa doesn’t want to see her. She had Jennie’s back with Mary but thinks Jennie didn’t have her back. Lisa’s upset, also, that Jen sat silent. Lisa is yelling and packing as Jen Shah, Heather Gay, and Whitney Rose come up the stairs. Jennie tries to defend herself. Then Heather tries to defend herself. Pretty soon, Lisa is cornered in the bathroom by Jen, Heather, Jennie, a very tall man (security?) and cameras and production crew. Lisa is still ranting, and the women have her cornered, all shouting at once about how they supported her. Drunk Whitney wants to talk to Meltdown Lisa. Jen leaves the room.
Mary Cosby is wandering around the villa, talking to herself. Wait, is she wearing the boots that she gifted second-hand to Jennie? Mary says, “Heather with her little judgmental self. She has the snobbiness of a true Mormon. She don’t even know she look inbred.”
Back at meltdown central, Lisa finally calms down enough to hear that Whitney, Heather, and Jennie are there to support her. Jen comes back in with an outfit change to tell the ladies that she can’t take anymore. But Jen stays for it and adds to Lisa’s pain by telling her that Meredith isn’t her friend. Jen says that she’s either heading home or they are “handling sh–.”
Whitney leaves Lisa’s room and hands-on-hips finds Mary and Meredith in the kitchen of the villa at Zion. Mary gets up to go to the other side of the room. Whitney attempts to apologize, but in an attempt to draw an analogy about not being believed, Meredith takes a low blow about Whitney’s father. Meredith goes into a rage at not being believed about her father’s memorial, and Whitney asks, “Did you want me to hire a private investigator to find out?” BAM. As Whitney leaves the kitchen, Mary smirks.
Whitney Rose finds Jen Shah and Jennie to tell them what Meredith said. Mary says to Meredith, that she doesn’t know how to fix things. Then Meredith says, “Oh, I’m gonna fix things.” Is that one of the peace and love and light sayings on Meredith’s “M” track suit? Probably not. Meredith storms into the room where Jen, Jennie, and Whitney are talking about how Whitney’s urine smells like she needs more water. Meredith demands to know who is speaking about her father’s memorial. Having heard her name, Lisa comes in the room on a terror and Lisa is heard repeatedly saying, “You’re the f-ing liar. You’re the f-ing liar.” Meanwhile, Jen takes a pillow and kills a mosquito. Random.
As Jennie is clearing the flowers off the bed, the ladies are still asking for Meredith to just answer the question. Was there a memorial that kept Meredith from being on the bus that day? When was it? Meredith walks away again. Then it’s Whitney’s turn to rant, chasing Meredith down the hall and asking, “Where is Mary Cosby for Meredith right now?”
Whitney finds Mary in the kitchen, the other ladies join in, and they have a nonsensical conversation where Mary dismisses them. Mary says she’s done trying to be around them. Lisa says she’s hurt, and Mary says, “I don’t care about your hurt.” Mary walks away again. Then Heather, without her flowery headband, tries to bring up that Mary is a problem, but Meredith defends Mary as a good friend. Lisa says she’s going to bed. Meredith then says she’s going to bed. Then the rest of the ladies stumble off to bed.
As they pack the next morning to go back to Salt Lake City, friendships are strained. Jen shows up in Whitney’s room wearing “fun buns” in her hair, determined to have fun that day. Whitney is asking Jen what happened the evening before. Whitney doesn’t remember. Cue the scenes from the night before of Whitney drinking, drinking, drinking. Heather checks in on Lisa who is still devastated, realizing the prior night how little her friendship means to Meredith. Heather is frustrated that nothing was resolved with Meredith — no answers to anything. Meanwhile, Jennie, Mary, and Meredith are eating an awkwardly silent breakfast. Someone please make a meme of this.
In order to keep the women from gossiping about her, Meredith decided to ride back from Zion to Salt Lake City in the van. Mary’s not having it. She’s going in a different car. Heather and Lisa talk about how Mary is probably the most cruel and the biggest liar and neither understand the Mary/Meredith bond. Kevin the Driver is probably relieved the group on the van are hung over and all silently looking at their phones for hours.
Back in Park City, Seth is saying that Meredith got “skunked” on the trip and needs to get the skunk off of her with Reiki. Heather’s family gathers for Heather’s daughter’s college announcement. She’s going to UC Santa Barbara! Meanwhile Jen is meeting with her attorney, Clayton. He’s explaining some of the procedural elements of her upcoming hearing. Jen asks about First Assistant Stuart.
The attorney tries to explain that he and Stuart’s attorney are not working as a team, but they are not “opposing each other at this point.” He goes on to say that Stuart might decide to take a deal and testify against her. Jen seems unphased.
Lisa is wrapping asparagus with bacon for her family’s tabletop grill night. They have a grill where meat cooks on the top and cheese melts in trays underneath. Jack Barlow asks how the Mother’s Day trip was, and Lisa tells him it was great, then promptly changing the subject. After the boys leave the room, Lisa tells John Barlow the truth, although a much more subdued version of events than what transpired.
At Mary’s church, she and her gold microphone are back after not having a service for about a year. Mary invited Jen to her church, so Jen decides to go to see Mary’s church for herself. One of the parishioners reads a tribute to Mary as someone stands behind Mary fanning her.
The word “perfect” is stated a few times and the woman says that Mary is a “facsimile of God” as Mary’s son, Robert Cosby Jr, looks on. More parishioners shout affirmations and hug her, and Jen is getting a glimpse into why Mary might not be used to being challenged.
Meredith invites the ladies to for some spa treatments at her home. As Heather and Whitney head to Meredith’s, they aren’t sure what to think. Whitney shares that Meredith turned on her about her own father’s addiction when Whitney questioned Meredith’s father’s memorial as the reason for missing the infamous Vail-bus-trip/police-raid. Whitney’s decided that this is going to be some kind of attempt for Meredith to cover up and downplay what happened in Zion.
Meredith and her trainer, along with the staff, laugh about how they plan to treat Whitney and Heather with direct current (set a little too high) at the spa party. Meredith with her glass of wine is lord overseer. Once Heather and Whitney are strapped down and trapped, Meredith takes her opportunity to talk to them. Meredith reveals the date of her father’s memorial service in Aspen, and it was Monday, the evening before the infamous police raid. Meredith says that Lisa was wrong about the dates. Meredith was already in Vail when Lisa called from the bus on Tuesday.
Next time on the season finale, Jen is packing up to move “by the end of the month.” And Lisa hosts a Vida Tequila party and invites the ladies for more drama.
When Andy Cohen was presented with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame this week, John Mayer said that Andy was a dear friend and a friend he can count on. “For example, when Homeland Security shows up to the Beauty Lab and Laser parking lot and your friend’s life is suddenly in shambles, will you be Heather Gay or Lisa Barlow? Andy is forever a Heather Gay.”
What side are you on? Sound off in the comments!
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Kelli Bergheimer is an opinionated redhead, reality tv junkie, and freelance writer for All About the Tea.