As the bus ride to Zion continues on The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, the friendships are tested while Jen Shah and Lisa Barlow fight like they never have before. As Jen rants on and on, Jennie Nguyen moves further and further away from Lisa. Jen stands up, escalating, and tells Lisa to STFU. Jen goes to the other end of the bus to sit down, then pops up in Lisa’s face again. Then Lisa has a meltdown, and Jen gets in her face.
Someone from production, whoever drew the short straw that day, pulls on Jen, trying to pull her back from Lisa. Then the producer basically throws Jen down on the seat to keep her from Lisa. Lisa screams. Jen screams. Kevin the Bus Driver probably needs some PTSD therapy right about now. Meanwhile, Heather Gay never wants to go on a bus ride again. She’s trying to figure out how to get in good graces with Meredith Marks and Mary Cosby to avoid this in the future.
Eventually, after the scream-and-scary-nail portion of the ride, Lisa moves toward Jen to hug and reassure her. Then… snack time and just like that, the discussion is about who gets the best room.
The ladies on the bus arrive at Red Rock Villa in Zion, Utah. Waiting for them is champagne, flowers, and notes from their husbands. Meredith and Mary haven’t arrived yet. Out of the blue, Jen throws champaign from her glass on the group. Then everyone seems to pretend it didn’t happen as they go to scope out rooms. Heather and Whitney Rose decide to share a room. Jen has the primary suite because she’s had a rough time. Meanwhile, Lisa calls her husband, John Barlow, to inform him about the bus ride.
Whitney and Heather talk about how Jen’s been drinking all day from a silver bottle. Whitney’s by the pool, checking in with her husband, Justin Rose. Heather joins Whitney by the pool, then Jennie and Lisa join in. Jen tries to walk, hands full, jewelry on, from the edge of the pool right onto a floaty and misses. But she’s ok, she says, because she “has glam.” Jennie is terrified of the water, but she wants to be on a floaty, so she gets on Jen’s floaty. Bad idea. Jen falls into the pool again. Then Jen rips out a hair extension and throws it at Lisa.
Meredith and Mary arrive at the Villa. Whitney and Heather hide. Once Meredith finds them, Heather describes their van ride as Celebrity Death Match. The ladies all dressed in white need to head to the guided healing ritual, but they can’t find Meredith and Mary. Both women are irritated at the lack of closets in their rooms. As Heather and Whitney try to get naked, drunk Jen into her dress, everyone is fearful of another “spiritual night” given the past attempts to have spiritual moments together.
As the women board the bus, Whitney leaves to find Meredith, but then realizes Mary isn’t there either, so Whitney tells Kevin the Bus Driver to just go and then come back to get Mary. Despite all the alcohol, Jen is surprisingly able to stay within the lines of the labyrinth. High tolerance? Whitney plans a guided healing ritual for the ladies, but Mary, as usual, isn’t having it. As they walk around the labyrinth pathway, each of the ladies has lists of things they want to let go of. Jennie says in her production interview, “This group has a lot of resentment. We are gonna be here all night!” When they start the drum portion of the ceremony, Mary arrives. Mary isn’t going to participate, as usual.
Back at the villa, the women arrive to have a white party dinner. Meredith changed clothes and so did Jen, but Jen changed from white into snakeskin. Whitney’s toast throws shade at Mary and Meredith who were late to arrive and cast a shadow on the spiritual event she planned. Question one from Whitney to Meredith, “Why didn’t you come on the bus with us today?” Meredith dodges and makes excuses. Then Question two from Whitney to Mary is the same. Mary doesn’t offer any excuses or apologies. Jen accuses Meredith of not being honest, and then they spar a little bit.
As Meredith is pushed, she admits that one of the reasons for avoiding the seven-hour bus ride is the tension. And it’s not just tension and hostility with Jen, but with Lisa, also. Lisa asks if everyone is ok to invite Jen to events where Meredith is attending. Jennie jumps in to say that Meredith was upset at the Pho event when Jennie invited Jen. Then Meredith reminds Jennie that Jennie is the one who didn’t want to be around “a criminal.” Jen is getting angry now saying, “I am not a f—— criminal, Jennie!” Jen gets up to go to the bathroom.
As the relaxing and amazing labyrinth experience is undone, Whitney continues her very pointed questions, asking Meredith why she would ditch the group to fly with Mary. Whitney is wondering why the group is focused so much on resolving Jen and Meredith instead of resolving Mary and Whitney. Then the conversation becomes about who is “the meanest”—Mary or Jen. Meanwhile, drunk Jen is in the kitchen, eating lettuce with her hands and offering to help cook.
Jennie jumps in to ask Meredith why she seemed to downplay Mary’s racist slurs. Meredith and her blanket walk out. Jen comes back from her walkabout with what looks like a first aid kit. Then Whitney demands that someone chase Meredith to bring her back. Mary says she will go get Meredith if she can eat her steak when she gets back. Priorities. Meredith and her blanket came back to the table. Mary has her steak. Life is good, right?
Then Jen asks Meredith why she hired a private investigator to investigate her. Meredith says she didn’t hire a private investigator to investigate Jen. She hired someone to investigate the threats her family was receiving. Then Jen turns on Jennie for telling her Meredith hired a private investigator to look into Jen. Someone is misunderstanding what happened. Meredith does say that “with 90% certainty” the investigator thought Jen was behind the threats against Meredith’s family.
Jen and Meredith spar again about who has done more to hurt whose family. And then, VAGINA. Meredith goes bonkers and said, “even Murilo and Crystal said, ‘cover your vagina!’” In case you can’t keep track of the Shah Squad, Stuart—1st assistant, Crystal—2nd assistant, Murilo—3rd assistant.
Jen is out of her seat, talons out again, and then Jen is screaming over and over, “do you wanna know what you’ve done.” Jen threatens to tell everyone what Meredith has done. As they shout over each other about “charges” and “what I know,” and threaten each other, Jen tells Meredith that she’s “disgusting.” Meredith is done and leaves again. Mary must have finished her steak. She stands up to leave with Meredith. Then they spar over who is a “fraud” and Jen says, “Ask your ten m—f—ing boyfriends!”
Next time, the ladies try some outdoor adventures and try to navigate the fallout from the explosive dinner from the prior night.
Kelli Bergheimer is an opinionated redhead, reality tv junkie, and freelance writer for All About the Tea.