Real Housewives of Atlanta

Porsha Williams Opens Up About Contemplating Suicide & Battling Postpartum Depression: ‘It Was Hard As Hell’!

Porsha Williams

Porsha Williams is opening up about painful periods in her past ahead of the release of her new memoir, “The Pursuit of Porsha: How I Grew Into My Power and Purpose.” The former Real Housewives of Atlanta star writes about her lifelong struggle with depression, past abusive relationships, and contemplating suicide as a child. 

Porsha, 40, shared in an interview with People that writing her memoir proved to be a “therapeutic” experience. 

“It was very therapeutic and hard as hell,” Porsha told the outlet. ”I wanted to talk about those moments of despair, how I came out of them, and what it took to get there. Everything I have been through has made me the woman I am today.” 

Porsha’s battle with depression began when she was young. The reality star even considered suicide during her middle school years, after she was bullied about her body. 

“I was too young to even understand what I was dealing with,” the Bravo star recalled. “It wasn’t until I was about 29 that I really identified with the word ‘depression.'”

Porsha Williams

Porsha was raised by her parents, Diane and Hosea, who split when she was two years old. Diane sent Porsha to a therapist, but she only went to a few sessions. 

“I developed different skills to survive,” she told the magazine. “Like speaking positively to myself and not focusing in on all of the negative.”

Porsha Williams

Porsha, who shares a daughter, Pilar Jhena, 2, with ex, Dennis McKinley, clarified that she stopped going to therapy while writing her book, but plans to pick back up with regular sessions. 

“My daughter has saved my life. She has truly saved my life,” she shared. “And in the end of my book, I actually call her my little lifesaver. It’s a great way for me to pull myself out of anything.”

Porsha writes about experiencing past suicidal thoughts and her more recent bout with postpartum depression in her upcoming memoir.

“I had to survive that in order to be a good mom for [Pilar], so when I was able to come out of postpartum depression, that was just another thing that let me know, this is my little lifesaver,” she explained. “I never have to get to a place where I don’t want to live anymore because I’m living for my daughter.”

Porsha Williams

Porsha spoke about falling for fiancé, Simon Guobadia, 57, the former husband of the reality star’s ex-co-star, Falynn Guobadia. 

“He’s a big advocate for going to therapy, so he’s done a lot of work on himself, and I have been doing a lot of work on myself,” Porsha said. “I knew very early on that he was the one for me.” 

Porsha announced that she was walking away from RHOA in September, after appearing on the franchise for almost a decade. Fans will get a closer look at Porsha’s clan on her upcoming spinoff series, “Porsha’s Family Matters.” 

Porsha Williams

“The optics don’t look great, but people don’t have all the facts,” Porsha admitted in the trailer, about her surprise engagement to Simon.  

“Our relationship began a month ago — yes we are crazy in love,” Porsha captioned her engagement announcement on Instagram, in May. “I know it’s fast but we are living life each day to its fullest. I choose happiness every morning and every night.” 

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