This episode of The Real Housewives of New York City picks up where the ladies last left off — the trip to the Hamptons.
The drunken rant of Sonja Morgan continues. Something about Wells Fargo having better home interest rates versus Chase Bank causes her to launch at Ramona Singer. Ramona tells Sonja to stop drinking. Sonja is holding a butter knife and yelling, “You don’t have anyone to rely on. You have fake-ass friends.” Then Sonja starts picking up silverware and throwing it, telling Ramona, “You don’t even have Mario [Singer].” Sonja continues as Ramona walks away, “I have a family. I have friends. And I have a solid financial future.” Eboni K. Williams just keeps on eating. Luann de Lesseps goes outside to escape the high-anxiety situation. Ramona goes back in to calm Sonja down by apologizing to her.
The next morning, everyone wakes up for an exercise session with Luann’s boy-toy, Garth. Luann is twirling a baton. Did she find that in Ramona’s house? Leah McSweeney checks in with her sister about their grandmother. Eboni does the same with her mom. Eboni’s mom wants Eboni to make the decision about whether or not her grandmother stays on a feeding tube. Then Ramona tries to help Sonja make sense of the Wells Fargo/Chase debate. Ramona is trying to be a therapist where perhaps a specialist should get in this with Sonja. Ramona deduces that Luann Facetiming Garth was the trigger of Sonja’s loneliness.
It’s a new day in the Hamptons, and Ramona has remembered Michelle’s name. She is not calling Michelle, the Hospitality Director, “the help.” Ramona wants to have a Breakfast at Tiffany’s themed lunch. Ramona talks to Luann about Sonja. Leah came in and Ramona asks for “five minutes” to finish talking to Luann. Leah has a tantrum and says to Michelle, “How do you work for Ramona. She’s a dumb f-ing bitch?” And Michelle says, “I love you, Leah.” Then Leah notices Eboni in the room talking to Ramona and goes off. Leah realizes that she is extra-sensitive because of the situation with her grandmother.
As the drama continues, Garth is waiting outside, ringing the doorbell. As Luann lets Garth in, Sonja is standing at the railing of the stairs, and Luann says, “We can see up your nightgown.” Garth is likely pondering his life choices right now. Eboni bows out of the workout to get ready for the day. Ramona skips out to the backyard like a little girl. Sonja’s moving slowly. Leah and Eboni bond over hair and makeup. The makeup artists are dressed like surgeons with masks, shields, robes, and surgical booties. Leah decides that Leah is going to take a vow of silence until 6 pm in order to deal with Ramona.
As the van shows up to take the girls to go get oysters, Ramona can’t figure out why Leah isn’t talking. Ramona mispronounces laryngitis saying “Is it larng-en-ee-ite-is? And then Sonja says, “It’s strategy.” Ramona wants to sage Leah but decides to wait. The conversation in the van quickly turns again to Garth. He’s going to be cooking dinner for the ladies, so Luann is talking to him about the menu. They talk about Garth’s hair, and then the Sonja’s nitpicking continues until she tells Eboni that Luann was with her man. “That was my bald guy she married by the way [referring to Tom D’Agostino].” Luann claps back, “He was never your guy. He was a f*** for you. So, let’s not exaggerate.” Then Luann and Sonja argue over Harry Dubin. Are they going to talk about The Pirate? Can there be an episode without mentioning Harry Dubin? Leah and Eboni are texting each other on the ride. Eboni jumps in to tell Luann to back off of Sonja. Luann tries to smooth it over with Sonja when Sonja admits to being upset. In Sonja’s experience, Luann drops her friends for a man, every time. And then Luann says to Sonja, “If we ever have a threesome, I’ll call you first, ok?”
The driver takes them to Southold Bay Oysters. Leah’s is doing charades to try to communicate. Then the Ramona-oyster montage is shown. She’s obsessed. The ladies try to shuck oysters. As they sit down to eat oysters, Leah breaks her vow of silence. Leah says she’s nervous about Heather Thomson coming to dinner. Then all the ladies find out that Heather is “staying over.”
For the Breakfast at Tiffany’s dinner, everyone goes to their rooms to get ready. Heather arrives. Ramona takes Heather to “the basement” that she affectionately calls, “the lower level.” Before dinner even starts, Luann asks if Leah is still doing her podcast just to light the fire and let Heather know that she’s about to be on blast. Eboni has a podcast. Heather has a podcast.
As they sit down to dinner, the podcast discussion continues. As they try to figure out which fork to use, Leah comes for Heather. And Heather feels ambushed. Leah is calling up articles on her phone. First up, the article about “hard drugs.” Heather says that the headline was misleading, but the article “wasn’t about that.” Then Leah asks about Heather’s statement about Luann. Leah quotes Heather, “I thought that was a real friendship, but nothing really that I learned with Luann ever is genuine.” And Heather nods in agreement and says, “Yeah, that’s true.” Luann thinks that Heather is throwing her under the bus in order for Heather to gain popularity “because I’m relevant.”
Heather does tell Luann that she is proud of what Luann has accomplished and that maybe they can talk about something that isn’t so “surface.” Then, more Garth conversation, but where is Garth? Wasn’t he supposed to be cooking dinner? Luann set up a painting class with a naked male model the next day at her Hamptons home. And the dinner continues down the road of talking about men, growers, showers, balls, and Ramona leaves the room to get a shot. Leah says, “I feel like if a man doesn’t eat your ass, he’s not a real man.”
On the next episode, the party continues. Ramona clutches her pearls about all the sex talk. The male model is objectified as only these women can. And something takes a wrong turn with a heated discussion at Luann’s house about class, being a lady, and education.
Kelli Bergheimer is an opinionated redhead, reality tv junkie, and freelance writer for All About the Tea.