Last week, the The Real Housewives of New Jersey had one of their first shows this season without the men. When we last saw them, the women were at Jennifer Aydin’s house having Turkish Tea to celebrate Jennifer’s mom, Josephine.
The rest of the women attended with their moms — Melissa Gorga and her mom Donna; Jackie Goldschneider and her mom, Ann; and Dolores Catania and her mom, Valerie. Margaret attended with Marge Sr. Teresa Giudice is struggling without her mom and tells the group she is leaving. Melissa’s mom gives Teresa a huge hug. The tea party continues on this episode.
Everyone is supportive and kind about Teresa’s struggle without her mom. The conversation turns to Jennifer helping her mom move to New Jersey from New York and helping her mom decorate. Dolores chimes in about how difficult it is to renovate an older home. She’s renovating her own home. Melissa asks Dolores’ mom, Valerie, if she’s seen David Principe’s home and likes David. Valerie says he’s an amazing doctor. Then Dolores grimaces when Jennifer asks, “Did Dolores tell you what the psychic said?” Jennifer goes all in to tell Valerie what the psychic said. Dolores needs to “let David go so that she could find her soulmate.” Melissa, bump and set. Jennifer, spike.
Dolores realizes that the moms in the room want her to be happy and her friends are judging her. Dolores again says that she is happy and content with David and the quiet that accompanies him. Jackie’s mom says that she and her husband live apart and it works for them. Then Jennifer asks Valerie how she feels not living with her husband. Valerie says, “I’m fine with it.” Dolores’ father moved to Paterson, New Jersey, for his job.
Jennifer tells the group that her dad is living with her and her mom is not. Almost in unison, the group chants, “who gives a sh*t.” The problem is that Josephine does care what other people think. Josephine does admit that she likes things better now that her husband lives somewhere else. This might not be about her husband living elsewhere. It’s likely that it’s about her husband living with Jennifer. Josephine tries humor to shift the focus off of her.
And now the men, Joe Benigno, Evan Goldschneider, and Frank Catania, meet at a golf course. Frank says he hasn’t played in 13 years. And he wants to know if Joe Gorga still plays with “kids clubs.” Joe G. shows up shortly after. It becomes immediately evident that this is about laughing more than golfing. Joe G. proposes that the loser runs out with his pants down to the red flag and back. Frank asks, “Why do you always want to see my dick?” Let the sophomoric games begin!
The men sit down for lunch. They are taking about how Dolores and Margaret just keep adding more home projects to their lists. Joe G. says that the women are on “some kind of mission like they have to prove something.” Frank asks Joe G. what’s the deal with Teresa. Frank heard that Teresa has a new boyfriend. Joe G. tries to tow the line and not reveal anything, but Frank is persistent. Joe G. admits that he loves Teresa’s new boyfriend. The men all love that Teresa is happy.
Teresa is viewing houses with Michelle Pais, the realtor. Teresa is looking for a complete change, and this home is modern and clean. Her old house has a museum feel with marble and iron, but it’s a lot to maintain. Teresa facetimes with Gia Giudice to show it to her. After the house tour, Michelle says she is having a cocktail party and wants to invite Teresa and some of her friends. Michelle wants to set Teresa up with David the Broker. Teresa tells Michelle that she already “met someone.” But Teresa agrees to go to the party.
Melissa and Joe G. meet up for lunch with Margaret and Joe B. The first topic of conversation is a video of Frank kissing Joe G.’s naked ass. They talk about how Teresa was upset at the tea party. Joe G. says Teresa went straight to the cemetery where their parents are buried. Margaret brings up that Teresa is “madly in love with him.” Joe B. told The Marge all about it after the golf outing. Joe G. likes that this new man “wears his heart on his sleeve.” Margaret says that Teresa is “drinking pineapple juice by the gallon.”
Dolores is heading to her biopsy. She realizes that the results of the biopsy can take away all that she has. The couples are all pre-gaming for the cocktail party — hair, makeup, sparkles, dredging up old stories, and the bad influence of Joe G. Dolores tells Frank that her biopsy results were good. He’s so relieved.
Everyone arrives at Michelle’s house for the cocktail party. The first conversation with the girls is the video of Frank and Joe G. Then the first conversation with the men is the video, also. They all chime in on the state of Joe G’s rear end. And then Marge announces that Teresa is in love. Michelle seems taken back and lets the girls know that David the Realtor is eligible. Marge spills the tea that Joe G. told everyone that Teresa is in love. Teresa seems upset that Joe G. has told everyone that she’s in love. He’s caught.
Bill Aydin arrives to join the men. Bill jokes that he didn’t bring his car, so his wife is allowed to do shots. It would have been funny to see that footage again of Tequila Jen throwing up in her husband’s very expensive car. The conversation turns to how happy everyone is that Teresa is having sex. Melissa tells about the first time she had sex with Joe G. He brought 10 dozen roses to her porch. Then The Marge says that the first time she had sex with Joe B., “he said he had to take a shower and said I don’t want to smell like you. My wife will find out.” Way to tell a story, Marge.
Dave, Michelle’s friend arrives. Teresa immediately dismisses him because he said he looks so young because he sleeps a lot. They decide that maybe Dave should be passed to Dolores. Poor Dave. Dolores’ boyfriend, David, bought Dolores a Porsche for her birthday, but the girls know that Dolores wants a ring.
When Dolores and Frank arrive, they can’t resist showing her the video. Then the conversation goes back to Dolores receiving a car and not a ring. The consensus is that David is stalling.
Drunk Melissa is helping Teresa text her boyfriend, Luis Ruelas. Teresa tries to leave the party, and Melissa makes a big deal about Teresa leaving for a booty call. Dolores is talking about how it’s not easy to go back to dating after being out of that for a long time. Dolores thinks Teresa is smart keeping it to herself. Dolores has faced a lot of judgment from the group.
As Joe G. goes in on Dolores pretending to be happy, Dolores says that she threw out Frank when she was 9 months pregnant, so if she was not happy, she wouldn’t be with David. Joe G. says she’s in denial. Dolores claps back about Joe G.’s anger with Melissa when they were at the Jersey Shore. Joe G. is drunk, so he’s spouting off. Joe G. says that Frank “ruined her” and “she is a broken woman.” Everyone in the room is shocked. Dolores goes on to defend David, that he loves her. Once again Drunk Joe G. cannot read the room. Drunk Melissa brings up that everyone was talking about Dolores, the car, the house, the lack of ring. And Dolores says, “A ring, a Porsche, a car, a f-ing house doesn’t mean sh*t.” Dolores is upset that everyone is talking behind her back. She storms out.
Next time, the big reveal of Teresa’s boyfriend. The drama over Dolores’ relationship continues. And Jennifer has a huge fight with her mom. And Melissa and Joe G. argue yet again.
Kelli Bergheimer is an opinionated redhead, reality tv junkie, and freelance writer for All About the Tea.