Welcome back to Real Housewives of Orange County. Quarantine has hit the OC.
’s forty-nine children are practicing yoga, fighting with each other over chores, and questioning if Coronavirus is caught by eating one’s own boogers. Forced to do her own laundry for the first time, Braunwyn doesn’t even know how to run her washing machine. She doesn’t have a housekeeper or a nanny to help her. She’s closed the kitchen unless it’s mealtime, and that extends to husband, Sean, too. She talks to him like a child and complains about having to clean all day, every day. (Welcome to the real world, honey.)
Emily Simpson and Kelly Dodd meet at the park. They’re both tired of their kids being underfoot all day. Emily’s five-year-old twins have gotten into a fistfight, and Shane is trying to distract the children by racing scooters through the living room. Sean and Braunwyn meet up with Kelly and Emily to share some fresh air and a few kidless minutes.
Kelly’s headed to New York to visit her fiancé, Rick Leventhal. She doesn’t understand all the drama surrounding Covid. She doesn’t approve of the shutdowns, either. Upon hearing this, Braunwyn gets judgy, saying she would never leave her kids in the middle of a pandemic, but in Kelly’s defense, it’s Michael’s turn to have Jolie for a week.
Braunwyn also criticizes Elizabeth Lyn Vargas’ questioning of the Covid numbers. But it’s not just because of Elizabeth’s Covid messages on Insta that have turned Braunwyn off. She’s tired of all the different stories Elizabeth tells about her divorce.
Shannon, her boyfriend, John, and their respective kids are all sequestered in Shannon’s house. But she has strict rules. If you leave her house, you don’t get back in. Quarantine is just that, people! Joe, John’s son, left to visit friends. When she refused to allow him back inside, John left, too. Now, Shannon feels like John’s abandoned her. The constant stress is getting to her.
In New York, Kelly refuses to allow the virus to rule her life. She takes precautions by sanitizing and staying away from people—except Rick, of course. She says she’s cautious, but she’s not scared.
She and Rick work out by climbing the stairs of his building and doing lunges in his living room. Kelly draws the line at pushups. Fake boobs and pushups don’t mix! He’s so attentive, he gives her pedicures. (Now, that’s what I call a keeper!)
Back in Cali, Emily is trying to get her kids to tidy up after themselves. Even Shane is pulling his weight by vacuuming. She thought that being locked down with Shane might be detrimental to her marriage, but they’re getting along just fine.
By day nineteen of lockdown, Braunwyn is annoyed with Sean. He’s determined to keep a positive attitude, and to newly sober Braunwyn, it’s annoying. Even something as simple as Sean shutting a window is working her nerves.
She admits when she’s unhappy, she lashes out. She complains about being the only real adult in the house and how tiring it is.
Shannon has allowed John to stay in the house once more. They were apart for a couple of days before he turned up and emotionally asked to come back. Shannon, even though she’s immunocompromised, allowed it. Gina worries that Shannon is putting herself at risk to keep her relationship.
We watch the women go through the shortages we all lived through. In New York, Rick scores some sweet, sweet tushie paper. And Emily has a source at a local store who has access to TP. She scores some for Gina and leaves it hidden on her back porch. Shannon hears about a grocery store that has some in stock and yells at John to go get some. ASAP!!
Kelly only planned on being in New York for a week, but she got stuck and had to leave Jolie with Michael longer than anticipated. Now, she feels guilty that her daughter is back in the OC while she’s on the east coast.
Kelly tries to calm Jolie about the virus, but Jolie isn’t having it. Not only is she stressed from Covid and being stuck inside, but her homework is also overwhelming.
As Elizabeth shops, she refuses to buy alcohol because she says it’s not healthy. She’s also confused about the virus. Is it manmade? Is it getting blown out of proportion so that Big Pharma can make a mint? Who knows? Either way, she’s tired of being stuck at home—which is on the beach with a gorgeous view of the ocean. Personally, I can think of worse ways to spend quarantine.
Covid may not worry Elizabeth, but she’s very worried and upset that her divorce hearing has been postponed. She’s been waiting six years. What’s another six months at this point? She’s beginning to realize that maybe money isn’t everything? Gasp!
Braunwyn and Sean are finally getting out of the house. They may just be taking a car ride, but Braunwyn puts on her sparkly hoops for the event. She thinks that once lockdown is over, everyone will be out partying, and since she can no longer drink, that will be hard for her. Sean tells her that they can take a trip and come back once everyone is hungover. She thinks he’s making fun of her.
She admits she’s been ragey and angry. On top of that, she can’t attend meetings. As she hides in her closet, she says she just lost her shit yet again because Sean teased her about the vacuum cleaner. She became so enraged, she smacked him.
She admits she’s gotten physical with him before, but the worst time was in Aspen. She was angry and angsty and wanted a drink. So, she lashed out and popped him in the face. Her son, Curren, saw the incident. She admits to feeling trapped in her marriage.
She’s losing her mind by being stuck in the house and surrounded by Sean and her kids. She’s sugarcoated her marriage for too long, and her urge to drink is stronger than ever. Nevertheless, she’s managed to stay sober.
It’s now May 1, and the ladies can get together as long as they social distance. Kelly is with Elizabeth on the beach. They have a small party with close friends and family. Shannon and John go hiking together. Gina’s unfortunate extensions are back, and so is her need for home repair, so she heads to Home Depot.
The women sit in Kelly’s back yard, wishing Gina could have joined them. But apparently Gina met up with Tamra the day before. Shannon found out from an Instagram post and finds it very interesting that Gina cancels meeting with the ladies but could make time for an old castmate.
Shannon and Tamra are no longer friends. (Were they ever, really?) Tamra has spent her time in lockdown trashing Shannon to anyone who will listen, and Shannon’s tired of it. Yet she feels a void and misses Tamra.
Talk soon turns to Elizabeth. Shannon isn’t that fond of the newbie. Elizabeth claimed that at Braunwyn and Sean’s vow renewal, a drunk Shannon screamed at Elizabeth’s sexless boyfriend, Jimmy. Not true, says Shannon.
The women agree that Elizabeth isn’t telling them the whole truth. Even her closest friend, Kelly, thinks Elizabeth is hiding things. Kelly believes Elizabeth is insecure, but she’s still a good person and that’s what counts.
The next day, Emily and Braunwyn facetime. Braunwyn and Elizabeth DM’d on Instagram. Elizabeth griped about how bored and alone she’s been. Braunwyn has been following some of Elizabeth’s friends and knows they were together at the time she and Elizabeth were messaging one another. Why does Elizabeth have to lie all the time?
Shannon asks Braunwyn about how well she knows Elizabeth. She encourages Braunwyn to investigate Elizabeth, claiming the stories just aren’t adding up. Braunwyn takes the challenge and finds that Elizabeth rented her house out to a couple just three weeks prior.
Braunwyn says Elizabeth took out two loans on her beach house for over one million bucks. She defaulted on the Madison Club and got a loan from a private individual. Is this how Elizabeth paid for her legal fees? According to Braunwyn, this is all a matter of public record.
It’s a new day. Braunwyn shows up at Shannon’s house after not being able to use her own computer. Darn kids and their distance learning.
Shannon’s upset that during lockdown, her home became disorganized. She ate and drank too much, and now she’s regretting those decisions.
Gina and Elizabeth Facetime each other. Gina thinks the fallout from Covid will increase the number of divorces. Which gives Elizabeth an opening to talk about hers. She’s finally ready to settle with her ex. Why does she always need to win? She’s searched for herself and has decided that settling is good enough.
Elizabeth wants to get all the women together for a trip to Lake Arrowhead. She hasn’t talked to the other women much, except for Kelly. She admits the gag order kept her from being honest with the group. Now, she wants to come clean and develop a stronger friendship with the ladies.
Gina apologizes for going off on Elizabeth in Palm Springs. She was just tired of the inconsistencies about Elizabeth’s divorce and her relationship with Jimmy.
When Elizabeth asks if Gina has seen the other women, she admits she was supposed to but bailed. Shannon wanted Gina to hear the evidence Braunwyn had gathered on Elizabeth, but Gina didn’t want any part of it. We see a brief scene where Emily gives Elizabeth a heads up, letting her know that Braunwyn has been digging into Elizabeth’s past.
Elizabeth says she’s had a dysfunctional history. Braunwyn searching for the dirt on Elizabeth makes her nervous. She’s had problems that she doesn’t want to share with the ladies.
Shannon and Braunwyn talk about the upcoming trip. Why did Kelly invite Shannon? If Elizabeth is planning the trip, why couldn’t she reach out and extend an invitation herself?
Braunwyn is disgusted with Elizabeth. Now that Elizabeth has settled her divorce, maybe they can all talk about something else for a change. Braunwyn just wants the truth.
Fast forward to the BLM protests in both New York and Orange County. We see the women talk about George Floyd. Braunwyn and her kids go out to march. She’s ready to have the hard conversations.
Later, life is finally starting to open back up. Braunwyn enjoys a lunch with her friend. Elizabeth is getting Botox. Emily steps out in a sexy, black lace mask and flirts with Shane. He may have been a jerk in the past, but these two do have some fun banter. I like seeing it.
Shannon is in urgent care. She’s taken Stella, who’s tested positive for Covid. Shannon’s had the test three times, and despite a slightly elevated temperature and sore throat, she’s tested negative. She took John, Sophie, and Addie to get tested, too.
How can this happen, when Shannon’s been so careful? Well, it turns out the twins snuck out to attend a party. No one wore masks. No one remained socially distant. Now, Shannon’s terrified she’s going to get it.
I’m a fiction writer by day and a reality TV addict by night.