On the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, we’re still at Mary Cosby’s Met Gala cocktail attire luncheon. Jen Shah has just apologized for getting upset at Meredith Marks a week prior. She lashes out when she’s hurt.
Jen says she’s a truth-teller. She’ll say out loud what everyone else is thinking. Mary takes exception to that. Nobody at the table would call Mary a grandfather-fucker, for instance, but Jen had no problem lobbing that verbal grenade.
When Mary widens her eyes, Jen gets pissed. Stop looking at her like that, okay?! Jen says she and Mary were brought up fucking differently. Mary wags her finger down the table and tells Jen not to curse at her. Jen tells Mary not to wave her finger—as she waves her own long, blinged-out talons. Jen points out that Mary asked the ladies to open up, to share something personal about themselves, then she insults Jen’s admissions.
Heather Gay butts in and tries to keep the peace, but these two ladies are in full meltdown by now. As Jen repeats herself, Mary dismisses her, saying, “Bye. Have a good day.” Did she only invite Jen so she could have the pleasure of throwing her out of the venue? Maybe. And if so, well played!
Heather follows Jen. Outside on the red carpet, Heather encourages Jen to go back and make peace.
Inside, Mary is trying to squeeze out a tear as she complains about Jen cussing at her. Lisa Barlow thinks they’re in pain because they can’t resolve their differences.
Heather drags Jen back to the table. She reminds Mary that she can’t invite people to open up, then put them down. We even see a flashback from last week, where Mary specifically asked the women not to chime in when someone else is speaking. She must have forgotten that edict. Heather says Mary is being hypocritical.
Uh oh. Mary has a new target. She tells Heather she has two faces, while the other women, the restaurant owner, and the waitstaff look on uncomfortably.
When Heather asks what she’s done to show two faces, Mary refuses to discuss it further. Walter, the owner, is upset. No one wants to upset Walter. Whitney Rose rolls her eyes, and Jen says she knows Walter very well, too. Check. Mate.
When Whitney tries to explain that Jen felt dismissed, that Mary wouldn’t accept Jen’s statement, Mary tries to shut her down, too. “You’re thirty. You don’t even…” Whitney takes offense at getting called out for her age.
Mary says she doesn’t need hoodlums in her life. Jen is a hoodlum.
Jen accuses Mary of being racist. Mary won’t even go into a 7-11 if there are black people there. Mary snaps back and tells Jen to shut up. In her confessional, Mary says she has a fear of hospitals and convenience stores. Did she almost die on the floor of a Kum & Go sometime in her past? Not sure, but Mary’s mind gets violent when she goes to convenience stores.
Mary, I say this with all due respect: you’re a weirdo. And Ramona Singer now has some competition in the batshit crazy eye department.
Jen’s had enough and leaves. Mary had everyone on her side until she took things too far. All she had to do was to keep acting like the injured party and she would have won this one, but she’s incapable of offering a coherent argument.
It’s a new day and Heather fries bacon for her daughters. She says her ex has always provided for his kids and didn’t want them to suffer financially because of the divorce. He also wanted Heather to be a stay-at-home mom.
Heather’s daughter, Ashley, has been dating Jayden for two years. Heather tells us that Mormon parents don’t allow their daughters to go out with the same boy twice in a row or it might become serious. And by that she means S-E-X. But Heather trusts her daughter.
Since the divorce, Heather’s daughters have been left out of the social strata they used to be a part of. Because of that, they see people from the church as hypocrites and aren’t into Mormonism anymore. Her kids are kind of anxious about going back to church because they’ll be quizzed about their absence. Her daughters feel judged and don’t like it.
Now it’s time for Meredith to meet her estranged husband, Seth, at the airport. He’s been shuttling back and forth between Chicago and Ohio. They say they’re dating, hoping to patch things up. But he loves Ohio. He wants her to come and live with him there. She has no plans on moving, even after ski season is over. She’s moved so many times for his work, she’s tired of it. He thinks who you live with is more important than where you live.
Meredith believes her store is just as important as Seth’s business. She resents him for moving the family so many times, but he’s in the deep discount industry and has to go where the deals are. (Isn’t that what the internet and phones are for? Just asking the question.)
Seth says he’d move anywhere to be with Meredith, but that’s a lie. Otherwise, he would have stayed in Salt Lake City with her instead of going back to the Midwest. This is why she’s so bitter.
Meredith hates that his business comes first. She’s had to relocate and hire new employees every two years or so. Seth points out that he’s got one hundred employees. She shuts him down, refusing to discuss it further.
At Mary’s house, she’s speaking to her step-grandfather-husband. She can’t even use the intercom to ask for a try from the maid. She makes Robert do it for her. Poor Charlinda has to schlep all over the house to deliver lunch to Mary.
Mary tells how generous she was with the ladies at lunch. Then she admits to throwing Jen out. Who is Jen to call her a grandpa-fucker? She wipes away invisible tears and whines that she wants Jen out of the group.
Jen Facetimes her husband, the Coach. She discusses the luncheon, telling him she was disrespected and shut down when she opened herself up. She’s now upset about the 7-11 comment, because her husband and sons are black. I see her point, but here’s my problem: Jen didn’t confront Mary about this comment when they were friends. She waited and used it as ammo after their friendship imploded.
Whitney goes to martial arts class. Her brother, Will, is the sensei. They’ve always been besties. When the rest of the family and church turned their backs on her because of adultery, he stood by her side. So, she flips him over her shoulder like a badass.
Will hasn’t talked to their father since Thanksgiving. Whitney informs him that Steve did detox for a week then went to rehab for a month. He was supposed to go to sober living but headed to Cali instead. He was on the verge of a relapse. Now, he’s ready to go to sober living, and this time, she’s not paying for it.
Whitney comes from a very mixed family. Her mom had two kids from a prior marriage, including Will. Her father had two kids from a first wife, as well. Then they married and had Whitney and her sister. After the divorce, the kids took sides.
Will says he’s ready to support Whitney. She asks him to send Steve some uplifting text messages. Will says he has, but Steve ignores them.
Can I just take a moment to discuss Whitney’s diary looks? One minute she’s imitating Marilyn Monroe, the next, she’s wearing a prom dress, and in the next, she’s got twin curls dangling on either side of her face like she’s in a Jane Austen novel. Bad looks all. Whitney is adorable, but she needs a new stylist ASAP!
At the bowling alley, it’s time for Lisa’s son’s eighth birthday party. Henry rolls a strike like a boss.
Lisa talks to her husband, John, about Meredith and Seth’s separation. She’s upset because she sees marriage as an eternal covenant. She thinks Meredith should stick it out. Hey, Lisa gets angry with her husband. So angry, she’s thrown his Rolex out the car window. Don’t worry, kids, he went and dug it out of a snowbank. Whew! What a relief, am I right? I was seriously worried there for a minute.
Whitney is ready to take her dad to sober living. He admits that rehab was great, but the real world was too hard. He’s ready to feel safe again. However, Whitney says she’s been through this with him for a decade. At least he’s taken accountability this time, so maybe there’s hope.
Her dad’s addiction has taken a toll on her in every way. Now, Whitney hopes Steve can stay sober. She wants her daddy back.
Seth is packing up and getting ready to leave for Ohio. Meredith says they’ve argued for two weeks straight. Having him home has been hard, and they need another break. Seth is hurt. He thinks she might be happier if he’s not in the picture. Meredith agrees. She thinks they need to work things out individually before they can make it as a couple.
Seth doesn’t want this separation. They’ve had twenty-five years together. Meredith hugs him and says she loves him. But she doesn’t follow him to the door when he leaves.
It’s now evening. Heather and Mary meet for dinner. Heather wants to work things out with Mary and prove that she can be her friend as well as Jen’s.
When the waitress sets a glass of sparkling water in front of Mary, she asks for still water. Carbonation harms the ovaries, she claims. But she has no problem with wine. Maybe ovaries like a pinot. (I know mine do!)
Mary gets down to it. She thinks Jen’s resentment and anger stem from jealousy. Mary thinks Jen’s angry that a black woman has so many worldly goods and it triggers her. Heather is confused and disagrees.
Mary again tells us that her grandmother passed everything she had on to Mary after her death. That included her second husband, Mary’s step-grandfather. Which, by the way, is still creepy AF.
As Mary says she didn’t want to marry this man, she finally has real tears in her eyes. It took her two years to agree, to pray, and seek guidance. When she found peace, she decided to marry Robert Sr. And look at her now. She points out that she has designer duds, so she must be doing something right! And all those people struggling to put food on the table are just doing it wrong, I guess?
Heather actually understands where Mary is coming from. She says that people in the Mormon church choose faith over love all the time, because it’s expected.
Mary is done with Jen, and nothing Heather says can change her mind. Heather isn’t trying to broker peace, but Jen and Mary have more in common than not. Mary agrees, but Jen has burned bridges. They can’t be rebuilt!
And that’s our episode. So, what do you think of the show so far? Is it pulling you in?
I’m a fiction writer by day and a reality TV addict by night.