Welcome back to an all-new episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Tragically, instead of watching the dramatic Denise Richards vs. Brandi Glanville showdown that we’ve been promised, we’re once again bearing witness to the ladies making much ado about nothing. Oh, and being mean to Camille Grammer. I guess that never gets old though, right? But I digress… let’s get into it, shall we?
The episode kicks off with Kyle Richards paying a dramatic visit to Camille Grammer at her Malibu beach house. Camille treads lightly like a dog with her tail between her legs as she apologizes for her transgressions from last season and all of those petty tweets. After sparring back and forth for a bit, Kyle says she is ready to move forward and then even suggests that it’s time for Camille to make amends with the other ladies as well. But how? That’s the million-dollar question.
Meanwhile across town, Denise Richards and Lisa Rinna are meeting for a tense lunch of their own. As the two break bread over “skinny fries” and ruby red grapefruit juice (barf) Denise wastes no time and immediately calls Lisa out for being ugly to her in Santa Barbara. “It hurt my feelings when you called me a hypocrite in front of everyone,” Denise explains. Lisa then says that she doesn’t know where Denise draws the line when it comes to certain matters. “Where’s the line that we can be ourselves and talk to you and be open?” Lisa asks. Denise tries to explain for the fifteenth million time that she wants to be completely open with the ladies but draws a line when it comes to what she shares with her daughters. UGH. Groundhog day. Kill me.
Lisa Rinna then accuses Denise of “using her kids” and tells Denise that she needs to take responsibility. The lunch ends with the ladies reaching an impasse of sorts and still in the same exact place they were before, only now there’s an entire plate of uneaten, cold “skinny fries” sitting in front of them. Good riddance.
Later that evening Dorit Kemsley pays Kyle Richards a visit while she works on the finishing touches for her Black and White party. She then breaks the news that Camille will be in attendance at said party. Dorit hardly tries to hide her disdain. “Well… I knew it was fire season but I didn’t know the snakes were out as well.” SHOTS FIRED. Kyle pleads Camille’s case and why the ladies should give her a second chance but Dorit’s not having it. While she can be civil and cordial, Dorit is adamant that she cannot ever be friends with Camille again. “I can’t. I’m sorry I just can’t,” Dorit says. After all, this is the woman who announced at a crowded dinner table that Dorit’s hubby owed a lot of money to one of her dear friends… with Dorit sitting right here. Lest we not forget.
In true fashion, Garcelle Beauvais is hard at work being a #boss. She sits at a round table discussion with several screenwriters and finds herself none too pleased at the way one woman, in particular, has essentially rewritten her entire script. Fortunately, Garcelle doesn’t have any trouble in using her voice and offering up her constructive criticism. “I love the story. I feel like it’s diverted from the script… a lot. And that’s an issue for me.” After that, it’s back to the drawing board for Garcelle.
The night of Kyle Richards’ infamous annual party Kyle’s running around like a chicken with her head cut off, as usual. Across town, while getting ready, Dorit catches PK up to speed on the drama with Denise’s husband, Aaron. She then proposes that PK give Aaron a little friendly advice about staying out of the lady drama. For once, PK seems to dole out some wisdom when he says that he had to learn the hard way that it’s much better to support your wife than fight for her. Who is this imposter and what have they done with PK???!!!
The guests start to arrive one by one with none other than Camille and her sidekick Kimber (who could very well be a robot) arriving first. Shortly after Dorit and PK arrive and an awkward standoff ensues between Camille and Dorit with both maintaining their separate corners of the party. Meanwhile, Erika, Lisa and yet another Housewife from season’s past, the infamous Eileen Davidson head over to the party together. In the car ride over Erika and Lisa fill Eileen in on the Denise and Aaron drama and it appears that Eileen is already very familiar with Mr. Phypers.
The party goes from bad to worse when Lisa extends Camille a warm greeting and simultaneously refers to her as an “asshole on Twitter.” That goes about as well as one can expect with Camille doubling down, “Well I was just kind of dishing out what I got. I didn’t like a lot of the stuff you did last year.” She then adds, “I think I’ll pass on that.” And that’s the end of that I suppose.
But even more awkward than the Camille vs. Lisa Rinna showdown is the guest list. We’ve got Adrienne Maloof and ex-husband Paul Nassif in attendance, each with their new significant others. Kathy Hilton, Kyle’s sister/enemy depending on the day arrives with none other than the manager of the Kardashian empire, Kris Jenner, on her arm. And of course, the guest of honor and chief s*** stirrer, Brandi Glanville.
Kyle Richards delivers a long soliloquy about just how far the friendship has come with her and Brandi and attributes a video of Brandi crying about how awful her life is to why she and Brandi came back together again. Sure Jan. Your newfound beef with Denise has zero to do with your rekindled friendship with Brandi, right?
Denise Richards and Aaron eventually arrive looking like they’re walking to their execution. But first, a necessary pit stop at the bar, of couse. Brandi immediately pounces on Denise and walks her over to the rest of the group. The ladies all exchange pleasantries with Denise as if they haven’t been fighting about threesome talk for the past several weeks… months? Eh, who really knows at this point?
During the auction, PK makes good on his promise to Dorit and tries to talk some sense into Aaron. Unfortunately, Aaron doesn’t seem willing to receive the advice. In fact, it could be argued that PK would’ve had better luck trying to dole out financial advice to Aaron. Later in his talking head, PK appears to regret even trying to help. “He didn’t really appreciate my brilliance,” PK whines.
Denise Richards tries to have a one on one conversation with Teddi Mellencamp but it quickly gets overshadowed by Camille once again attempting to embark on her apology tour. Teddi however, stops Camille right in her track and telling her she can simply skip the pleasantries. The episode abruptly wraps here and once again we’re all left wondering when, where and how Denise and Brandi are eventually gonna go at it. Maybe next week…? Keep your fingers crossed.