Dorinda Medley, who’s wearing a feathery headdress for some reason, is still pissed that Ramona Singer dragged her and Sonja Morgan to Long Island under the guise of helping her plan her own birthday party. But when they arrived, Ramona ignored them, and the owner, Larry Scott, just wanted a pic with the ladies to put on his social media accounts. That’s three hours Dorinda will never get back. The cherry on top of the crap sundae, as far as Dorinda is concerned, is the fact that Ramona refused to share her party with Sonja.
The women then talk about Tinsley Mortimer’s departure to Chicago. Dorinda says good riddance. Her absence will free up a room at Blue Stone Manor. She then goes on to compare Tinsley to a rabbit and herself to a tiger, saying all the animals in the zoo don’t have to like each other. Fair enough, I suppose, but I still don’t understand why Dorinda has such a hardon for Tins. The younger woman is harmless, so why all the hate?
The women then try on gladiator outfits. They think it might be a good idea to wear armor to Ramona’s birthday party.
And speaking of the Singer Stinger, she meets up with a matchmaker. We see some flashbacks of Ramona’s past dates. The matchmaker asks if Ramona wants a rich man or a love match. (Can’t she have both?!) Ramona wants a best friend. And one who likes to summer in Europe and go to the Hamptons and ski in Aspen. Um…that means he has to be rich. Ramona shrugs. That’s her lifestyle, and she’s not downgrading. Ramona won’t settle for less. She wants more, more, more. And if these men are not on her level financially, they get intimidated.
Even though Ramona Singer broke down earlier this season, saying she just wanted a man to hold her, she now says she’s happy on her own. Uh huh.
Sonja Morgan meets with Elyse for dinner. Halloween isn’t Sonja’s favorite holiday. But fortunately, Ramona has Sonja covered. She bought them matching costumes. Now Elyse is feeling left out. Where’s her costume, damn it? Sonja says Ramona wants Elyse to stay in her lane. She’s not a full-time cast member, after all. She’s a friend of, and therefore she receives no special costume privileges. Elyse is hurt. Since she lost her house in Aspen and her private jet, Ramona has moved on to more prosperous friends. And recently, when the ladies were going for a drink, Sonja invited Elyse to come along but Ramona rescinded the invite. It was for Housewives only. Sonja complains that Ramona is wrapped up in her own life, her dates, her remodels. Ramona is a topper and sucking the joy from Sonja’s Century 21 deal. Sonja says she won’t spill the dirt she has on Ramona, but she could, because there are skeletons aplenty in Ramona’s closets.
Later, it’s a blustery day when Dorinda meets up with her daughter, Hannah. They dart into Jimbo’s burger joint, and get all the condiments. As they eat, Hannah tells Dorinda she’s proud of her. She sees her mom as independent for the first time.
Hannah wants to plan a dinner for Dorinda’s birthday. Dorinda shrugs. At her age, she insists, birthdays aren’t a big deal.
In Chinatown, Leah and Rob take their daughter, Kier, to dinner. Leah tells us — yet again — that she and Rob are family. But when she gave birth to Kier, Leah didn’t want to be in a relationship. She likes her freedom too much.
Leah tells Rob that she and her parents are finally speaking again. The folks like Rob, look on him as a son. But Leah feels if she did find a partner, her parents wouldn’t accept him. Side note: for such a rebellious personality, I find Leah’s overwhelming need to please her parents very strange. Leah agrees she needs to give her mother more credit for helping her with Kier. But she admits she’s still angry for her parents kicking her out of the house when she was nineteen.
When Kier asks why Leah still wanted to live with her parents at that age, Leah explains the most kids are in college and their parents foot the bill. So, asks Kier, why didn’t Leah go to college? Rob nods, agreeing with his daughter. Leah is still wrapped up in her adolescent angst, toggling between anger and a need for her parents’ approval.
Now it’s time to get ready for the voodoo Halloween party. Luann has hired a glam squad for herself and Leah, but she’s running late. And when she arrives at the party venue, she’s wearing a hat that’s part mirror ball, part Marlon Brando biker hat a la The Wild One. Look it up, kids!
She speaks French with the chef. The table is set with spider crabs and a goat head. She hopes the girls are grossed out by the décor. After all, what’s a Halloween party without a dead goat head staring you in the eye while you eat?
By the time Lu arrives to get her makeup done, Leah’s already in the chair. She plans on wearing a see-through bodysuit. Because nothing says voodoo like mesh, am I right?
Ramona looks less voodoo and more like an evil queen at a Renaissance Faire. When she and her friend, Missy, enter the party, there are many religious icons, New Orleans tombs, and severed goat heads, which creeps them out.
Since she’s the first to arrive, Ramona whines that she tried to get the girls to start the party earlier. She has a male friend who managed to snag a table at a restaurant downtown, and she’s not missing it. Ramona is no stranger to skipping out early, and this Halloween won’t be any different.
Sonja and Elyse pick up Dorinda. Sonja is already hammered. Dorinda came to slay in a body suit with a skeleton printed on it. She teamed it with a gold corset. On the ride, Sonja complains that Ramona doesn’t understand her pain and struggle.
A few men show up at the party. One is dressed like Gaston from Beauty and the Beast. Did he not get the voodoo memo? Anyway, when Ramona asks Gaston why he’s wearing a belly paunch, he tells her it’s real, not padding. Whoops!
As Lu and Leah get their hair and makeup done, the true terror of the night arrives in the return of Jill Zarin. Ghosts from RHONY past coming back to visit. Why, Bravo? Why?
Luann complains that she never gets to see enough of Jill. She doesn’t speak for me. I’ve seen enough of Jill to last a lifetime.
At the party, Sonja is drunkenly bashing her voodoo doll, the one she’s named Ramona. As she keeps hitting the doll, she yells, “Boom, boom. Boom, boom.” She tells Ramona she’s tired of being topped by the Singer Stinger. Ramona apologizes, but Dorinda calls Ramona out for being The Apologizer. Then Sonja slurs a litany of complaints, including the way Ramona ignores Elyse.
Elyse says there are friends who kick you when you’re down or catch you when you fall. Elyse asks what type of friend she’s been. “What type do you want to be, darling?” Ramona asks.
Ramona excuses herself and hies off to the restroom, refusing to further engage. She’s tired of Elyse piling on. For her part, Elyse has seen Ramona acting like an asshole to other people, but she hadn’t been on the receiving end until now.
When Dorinda corners Ramona and bitches about being dragged to Long Island to see Larry Scott, Ramona says Sonja and Dorinda are the most important girls in the group. She wanted their company. If that’s the case, why won’t Ramona share her party with Sonja?
Ramona isn’t relenting. She has eighty good girlfriends who want to celebrate her special day. And it’s her “coming out” birthday party. How many of those does she get in a lifetime? (Roughly six, so far.) Why do all these women want to come together to celebrate Ramona? Because she’s such a good friend, she tells us. And Dorinda doesn’t have many friends. So there!
Dorinda Medley’s upset that she was hauled out to Larry’s just so Ramona can get a free party. Ramona is offended. She’s paying for that party. Sure, at a discounted rate, but she’s shelling out money for her upcoming shindig. “Swear on your daughter’s life,” Dorinda says. Ramona thinks Dorinda is just drunk.
Luann, Leah, and Jill finally arrive at the party. Apparently, Jill didn’t get the voodoo memo, either, because she’s wearing a period piece. These people. Leah has Rob in tow, and the women are pleased to meet him. Dorinda immediately wants to know why their relationship didn’t work out. But she’s just kidding. Sort of.
Sonja greets everyone with a drunken shout. Meanwhile, Ramona is hiding out at the bar, trying to ignore Dorinda and Elyse.
Sonja calls Leah a weirdo. Sonja wants to know if they can keep it reeled in for the sake of their children? Sonja. Honey. You’re the one who’s constantly drunk off your ass and flashing your hooha to everyone you meet. Maybe you should reel it in and set the example? For some reason, they agree to be friends at this point.
Luann offers alligator appetizers. They aren’t well received.
On one side of the table, Ramona complains to Missy (Missy who used to date Tom before he got engaged to Lu) that Dorinda has two faces, and her angry face is scary. On the other side of the table, Dorinda moans to Lu that Ramona is selfish. Lu wonders why Ramona would bring Missy as her plus one. That’s just bad manners.
Then Dorinda takes a seat on the same side of the table as Ramona. She calls out Ramona for sitting next to William. We met him earlier this season. He was introduced as one of Ramona’s boy toys. Ramona’s icy gaze remains fixed ahead, and she doesn’t respond to Dorinda’s taunts.
Next, Dorinda stands and makes a toast. Well, she stands and talks to the dinner guests, at least. She yells at Ramona for accusing her of being drunk. Sonja, her mouth full, joins in. Dorinda says, “You’re terrible to Sonja, and you’re not nice.” Sonja shouts, “You’re terrible to meeeee!”
Ramona remains stoic through it all, but you can tell by her bulging eyes that she’s seething inside.
Lu is irritated Dorinda highjacked her toast. Luann is even feeling sorry for Ramona, and that almost never happens. Jill wonders if gatherings are always like this, where Dorinda jumps on people and attacks them the minute she enters the room. Yep, pretty much!
Elyse comes over to Ramona and asks if she’s okay. Elyse says she’s been trying to call Ramona for a week but keeps getting ghosted.
As Ramona gripes about Elyse in her talking head interview (which takes place in her kitchen) daughter, Avery, walks in and tells her to stop bitching about her friends. Ramona tells the girl to shut up. Oh, quarantine must have been fun in the Singer household.
Back at the dinner party, Dorinda grabs a pronged fork and knife and begins to carve up the roasted pig. Then Leah tears into the seafood tower with her bare hands and grabs the octopus. That sets Luann off. No one messes with her seafood tower.
Rob tries to check Leah, without success. Sonja wants Rob to fix her hair. He refuses and wonders where his life went off track.
Ramona slips out to go to another party and doesn’t tell anyone goodbye. But the women don’t care, and they spend the rest of the evening dancing.
And that ends our episode of The Real Housewives of New York City. So, do you think Dorinda Medley was out of line with her toast? Did you miss Jill Zarin? And why was a voodoo theme so hard for these guests to embrace?