We open this episode of the Real Housewives of New York City with the ladies packing for a trip to Newport Beach.
Tinsley Mortimer is sad, because she can’t take her dogs with her. Sonja Morgan is tormenting her latest intern with her hormone replacement regime. Leah McSweeney facetimes Ramona Singer, who’s having a toning procedure at her doctor’s office. Ramona’s looking forward to the oysters this weekend. And girl time, of course. But mostly oysters. And Dorinda Medley is in the Berkshires at Blue Stone Manor.
Dorinda Medley’s house is a disaster zone. She’s getting her kitchen retiled, a new roof, and it took four months for the house to dry out. No wonder she’s so stressed.
When the women meet up for their trip, Luann de Lesseps insults Tinsley Mortimer for bringing her own pillow and calls her a child. Tinsley takes offense. Tins has allergies. She has to bring her own pillow, or otherwise she’ll be miserable. Elyse Slaine packed her own pillow, too, but somehow she escapes the Countess’s snark.
Tinsley Mortimer tells us that Newport is a lot like Palm Beach. Her mom has a place in Newport. This is where the elite of Palm Beach spend their summer months.
The ladies hop on the bus, and Ramona Singer gives the itinerary for the trip. Whatever she had toned must have worked, because Leah declares that Ramona looks like she’s in her twenties. And Ramona eats it up.
Dorinda Medley is missing. She plans on meeting the women at the hotel. She’s feeling extra sad because this week would have been Richard’s birthday. She informs the hotel staff that she and Richard used to stay there and seems a little wistful.
Back on the bus, the women detail their most embarrassing memories. Leah’s most humiliating moment was the day before. She and Pita Chip, the man she’s been seeing, had a hot make out session. He was supposed to take her out for dinner next day, but he never texted. She didn’t appreciate his cavalier attitude. She says that even though she’s been in therapy for seven years, when she’s backed into a corner, her psycho comes through.
Leah McSweeney’s sis, Sarah, just had a baby. If anyone needs a few days vacay, it’s her. Can she meet the ladies in Newport? Um, no! This is a girls’ trip, not a mommy trip. Ramona Singer is firmly against it.
Ramona Singer admits she’s a control freak. She tells us that there’s a delicate balance to the group. Brining in a new person could ruin the dynamics. Meanwhile, the bus driver looks like he wants to stop on the side of the road and strangle each and every one of these girls.
They arrive at the hotel and are greeted with blueberry lemonade with vodka. They greet Dorinda, and then Ramona immediately orders oysters. This woman and her mollusks.
Tinsley Mortimer greets Dorinda with a kiss. She doesn’t like fighting. It’s too upsetting. So, she plans on playing nice and hopefully there won’t be a repeat of that day at the orchard.
Leah doesn’t eat, and the women jump all over her, telling her to eat the crab and not the roll. She’s not hungry, people, so back off! She keeps upselling her sister, and Ramona finally relents, saying Sarah can come for dinner the next night. But Sonja has issues. Guests shouldn’t invite guests. They don’t know her sister. Who does that?! This changes Ramona’s mind, and she reverses her earlier decision. Now, Leah’s sister is uninvited.
But Leah is tenacious. She takes a poll. Tinsley, Dorinda, and Luann don’t mind, so Ramona now reverses her reversal. Leah’s sister can come to dinner! Well, for now, anyway.
The ladies are staying in cottages on the hotel grounds. They have an ocean view and wine is waiting to be opened.
Leah calls Sarah, who’s excited to meet the other women. But before dinner, Ramona and Sonja discuss Leah’s sister. Ramona has changed her mind again. Sonja needs to have her back when she informs Leah that Sarah is now disinvited.
Leah shows up at Tinsley’s cottage with drink in hand. Leah’s already slightly tipsy. Mostly because she’s upset about her argument with Pita Chip.
Ramona, Luann, and Sonja take a car to the clambake, while Tinsley and Leah stop by to pick up Dorinda.
The dinner table is set up outdoors with candles and a firepit. Ramona brought crowns for everyone. Luann dons her star crown and says she’s been rethinking the invitation to Leah’s sister. Why did she want to invite Sarah at the last minute? That’s weird, right? Since Luann was one of the yay votes, it seems strange that she’s now having second thoughts. I mean, it’s just one night. One dinner. What is the problem?
Dorinda Medley, Elyse, Tinsley, and Leah all arrive and put on their tiaras. Ramona Singer has ordered her signature drink for everyone: club soda, a shot of vodka, and muddled mint. Leah and Dorinda could use something with a little more kick, so Leah asks for two more shots of vodka. Ramona gets upset. Two more shots? That’s ridiculous. Leah brushes her off and walks to the bar. Even Dorinda thinks it strange that Ramona is trying to monitor Leah’s alcohol consumption. Let it go, Control Freak!
Ramona Singer and Tinsley argue about whether Leah is a recovering alcoholic. Tinsley maintains that Leah didn’t drink out of choice, not because she was in a program. But Ramona thinks Leah’s now a lightweight who can’t handle her liquor.
Leah confronts Ramona, tells her to stop talking about her behind her back. Ramona proclaims she’s Leah’s new mother. But Leah needs the older woman to back off.
The women all gather at the beautiful table. There’s lots of flowers and a chandelier. Ramona pulls Sonja aside and wonders how she should tell Leah that her sister can’t come to dinner.
Leah McSweeney is shit faced by this point. She plays with Sonja’s basket sits on her lap. Sonja says she understands Leah is an unconventional girl in a conventional town. But drinking this much isn’t working. That’s rich, coming from the woman who was so drunk she puked on the way home from the orchard a few weeks ago.
As Leah continues to sit on Sonja Morgan’s lap, she yells at Tinsley and interrupts Dorinda’s toast. Ramona is now getting annoyed, and Sonja, who’s not exactly sober, is squeezing Leah’s breasts. Ramona accuses Sonja of encouraging Leah’s drunken behavior.
She may have a point, because Leah and Sonja start chasing each other around the table. All this is happening Tinsley tries to apologize to Dorinda. And while Leah puts her leg on the table and starts humping the air, Ramona thinks this would be a good time to pull her aside and tell her Sarah can’t come play in Newport.
While Dorinda and Tinsley are having a moment, Leah is lying on the ground, and Sonja is yanking her across the lawn by one leg. Ramona breaks the news that Sarah can’t come. Leah freaks out. Her sister is already on the way.
Dorinda Medley and Tinsley hug, while Leah is destroying the floral arrangements and tossing her glass on the ground. The waiters can’t even serve the food because Leah is bopping all around the table. She begs to speak to Ramona alone, but Ramona refuses. She tells Leah she’s out of control. Leah points out that with this crew, someone is always out of control.
Elyes tries to physically wrangle Leah back to the table, but Leah throws her off. Then Leah tries to dismantle the material that’s decorating the four posts framing the table. As Dorinda approaches her, Leah performs a summersault on the grass. My Lord, this woman is nuts, and I’m down for every second!
When she starts picking up the chair and threatens to throw it, Ramona brings her to one side and tries to calm the situation. Sonja thinks Leah might have a split personality. Luann thinks Leah’s ruined dinner. (Speak for yourself, Countess!)
Luann de Lesseps
tries to put herself on a pedestal and says she’s never behaved this badly, no matter how drunk she’s gotten. Then the producers show a flashback of Luann falling into that damn bush. I could watch that on a loop for an hour.
Ramona tries to explain to Leah that she doesn’t want her sister to come and ruin the vibe. Leah says if her sister isn’t welcome, then she’s not staying either. Tinsley, Dorinda, and Sonja all hug a sobbing Leah.
After using the restroom, Ramona Singer has had another change of heart. Sarah can come! Again! Leah sobs out of happiness this time. The two women hug.
The next morning, Luann is doing yoga poses on her porch overlooking the water. Dorinda walks out to the beach and calls Leah. Dorinda knows what she must be going through: guilt and embarrassment. But Leah says she’s just fine. Her sister is coming, and too bad if anyone doesn’t like it.
Leah doesn’t remember anything from the night before, but she feels lighter after waking. Her freak out was cathartic.
Sonja Morgan and Ramona wake up feeling refreshed. Elyse comes by. She didn’t drink, so she has clarity on what happened the night before. She criticizes Ramona for rescinding the invite.
Tinsley, Leah, and Dorinda meet up with the other ladies. Elyse wonders if Leah is hungover. Nope. She feels great. Leah says the alcohol just lets her express herself. She wants to be that free all the time. Dorinda understands it, but Elyse thinks this is why Leah scares men away. They must see the crazy side of her and run for the hills.
Why is Elyse judging Leah, when Sonja made a fool of herself in the Hamptons and Dorinda lost control at the apple orchard? Leah complains to Dorinda, Luann, and Tinsley in their car on the way into town.
In town at a boutique, Elyse comes up and hugs Leah. Leah tells Elyse she was too harsh. Elyse wonders how Leah would feel if her daughter acted like she did the night before. And what kind of example is Leah setting for her girl? Leah walks away, and swears in the middle of the store. Ramona tells Leah to watch her mouth.
Elyse doesn’t know Leah well enough to bring up her daughter. Doesn’t Elyse know kids are off limits? When thy all meet up on the dock at the bar, Leah tells Elyse to stay in her lane, and Dorinda backs Leah up.
Dorinda says Elyse is prowling around, waiting to pounce on anyone who’s out of line. Dorinda thinks the group needs to be a judge free zone. But Ramona is feeling very judgy. She’s embarrassed by Leah’s behavior.
The women form a huddle and exclude Leah and Tinsley. When Leah demands to know what they’re talking about, Sonja says Leah should apologize to Ramona for ruining her dinner the night before.
Leah McSweeney says that while she had fun, she’s sorry. Ramona claims to have blocked out the events from last night. Luann doesn’t think Ramona blocked out anything. She thinks Ramona blacked out from too much booze. And why is Ramona being so hard on Leah to begin with?
Luann de Lesseps confronts Ramona, saying she was drinking martinis, that’s why she can’t remember what happened. But Ramona says Leah’s behavior triggered memories from her horrible childhood. Ramona’s dad was abusive, and her brother became an alcoholic and an addict. How did Ramona escape the same fate? By reading and blocking out the bad memories. Sure, that sounds healthy.
Ramona Singer thinks Leah needs to curb her wild side when she’s around the group.
And that’s our episode. So, do you condemn Leah for getting trashed and parading around the dinner table like a circus performer? Should Elyse keep her opinions to herself. And was it a big deal for Leah to invite Sarah to come for dinner?