Welcome back to the Real Housewives of New York City. We begin our episode with Leah McSweeney meeting Luann de Lesseps for lunch. The women don’t wait on Tinsley Mortimer to arrive before they order. They don’t wait to start talking about the orchard visit either. According to Leah, the trip the day before was nothing but a large pile of bullshit.
On the ride home, Sonja Morgan was so drunk, she threw up in the van. Not cool, says Leah McSweeney. Crazy people are fun, but bad crazy? Not so much. She has problems with the way Dorinda Medley acted toward Tinsley, and Sonja got way too drunk, which was embarrassing. That’s just the nature of the group, girlfriend, Lu says. The ladies all have their own problems. Get used to it!
Tinsley Mortimer understands that Dorinda is still grieving her dead husband and is upset by her split from John, but that’s no reason to come for Tinsley Mortimer. Speaking of Tins, she finally shows up. She, Leah, and Luann are all sick with congested lungs. That’s what happens when you get drunk out in ragweed country, ladies.
Luann de Lesseps thinks Tinsley does the wrong thing when she’s confronted. Her voice becomes so high pitched, only dogs can understand her. Of course Dorinda goes after Tinsley. Because Tinsley’s annoying!
Leah sees to the heart of the problem, and it’s not Tinsley. It’s Dorinda’s jealousy over Tinsley being born with a silver spoon in her mouth. That’s the kind of life Dorinda always aspired to, and now she’s all alone. With no trust fund. Leah tells Tins to stop defending herself. She needs to stand up and call Dorinda out. Luann says Tinsley needs to stop throwing tantrums and yelling at the top of her lungs. But…that’s how Tinsley reacts. She can’t change that. Luann and the other women give Dorinda a pass, saying Tinsley is annoying, and justify Dorinda’s behavior. But Leah’s not giving Dorinda a pass. Dorinda needs to be called to account for her bullying Tinsley. Should they have an intervention? Luann thinks all the women should head to a health spa. While everyone is relaxed, Tinsley can speak to Dorinda. And keep her voice down while doing it.
Ramona Singer is having a personal training session. She invited Dorinda and Sonja to join. Dorinda is still feeling the effects of yesterday’s wine. So when the trainer works them hard, the ladies are ready to throw up — again.
Ramona tells Sonja she was out of control and got a little too fresh with the owner of the orchard. Sonja agrees she needs to keep it cool when she’s out in public. Another thing the women agree on is Tinsley gets screechy when she’s upset. Sonja thinks Tinsley doesn’t listen when people try to talk to her. This is rich, coming from the woman who will get into a verbal loop and repeat herself over and over until everyone is exasperated. But Dorinda thinks Tinsley plays the victim.
Ramona believes Tinsley is immature for her age. She’s unable to handle the crap life throws at you. She wishes Dorinda would let up on Tins. And she believes Dorinda is victimizing the younger woman. Ramona has a good point. I guess there’s a first time for everything.
Next, Dorinda Medley heads to an appointment with her life coach. She’s finally figured out where her anger is coming from. All that abuse she was hurling at Tinsley? It comes from frustration. She just wants Tins to be the best version of herself. Is that too much to ask?! Dorinda has a hard time asking for help, so going to a life coach is a big deal. He tells her that Dorinda has no idea what Tinsley might be going through. All she has to do is be polite and respectful. Um, how long has he known Dorinda? On her best day she’s neither polite nor respectful. Add alcohol to the mix and things get ugly.
Dorinda recognizes she’s in inner turmoil. As she’s fixing up the house, she’s had to throw away a lot of the things she shared when she was married to Richard. All those things she kept buried in boxes, refusing to go through them She’s now having to face the past. Finally, she’s fully feeling the pain of his death. Dorinda wants to be completely selfish. It’s time to put herself first for a change. She jumped into a relationship with John, not giving herself time to get over Richard’s passing. Though she claims she feels good by cutting John loose and taking care of herself, she doesn’t seem okay. Especially if last week’s behavior is anything to go by.
Leah McSweeney heads to a Russian bath house. She’s set up an afternoon with the ladies to be pampered. They women are probably used to something a little more upscale, but they’ll survive. Leah preorders lunch — including infused vodkas. Tinsley arrives first and refuses to give her jewelry over to the woman at the desk. But she’s ready to try ginger vodka.
Dorinda and Luann are heading downtown, and they’re not happy about it. Lu shares her lunch conversation with Tinsley and Leah. Lu says Tinsley is trying to find a way to make peace with Dorinda, while Leah thinks Tins should go all gangster on Dorinda’s ass. That very gangster attitude is what draws Dorinda to Leah. They’ve become friends, often speaking on the phone. Dorinda respects Leah. As for Tinsley, she lives in a fantasy world. Dorinda has no respect for that.
Next, Ramona arrives at the bathhouse. She’s given a hat to wear, but she’s less than impressed. She finds the spa a little rough around the edges — like Leah herself. Ramona zeroes in on Tinsley and tells her to let things go with Dorinda. Ramona slips into her swimsuit and lubes up her décolletage. If you don’t keep it moisturized, it becomes crepey — like Sonja’s bosom. And no one wants that! When Dorinda and Lu pop in, Tinsley ignores the elephant in the room. That elephant being Dorinda. Sonja arrives and is freaked out. There’s graffiti all around out here. And there are bars on shop doors. This is why she avoids downtown. Because it’s gross!
Leah McSweeney leads the women to the dry sauna as they don their crazy hats. Sonja thinks this place looks like prison. Ask Lu or Leah. They can tell you it’s not. Next up, the steam room and pool, where flabby Russian men beat the ladies with leaves. Ramona complains that the leaves are too harsh on her skin. Still, she finds it sensual. Dorinda loves the leaves. And Leah says it’s the most action she’s had in a while. Sonja enjoys taking a beating. Tinsley thinks she might be allergic to the plants and keeps her robe on.
Lunch is up next, where there’s a stagnant hot tub in the corner of the room. Leah makes a toast about how she didn’t fit in. But now she feels like a part of the group. So, yay!
Ramona Singer suggests they all go to Newport, RI. But Leah believes they all need to address the bullshit from the orchard before they make any plans. She brings up the fight that took place, saying she cried after she got home. It was a shit show. She doesn’t want to see these women attack each other anymore. Dorinda acknowledges her bad behavior. Luann says that Tinsley was ganged up on. But Dorinda turns it back on Tinsley for making a snarky comment.
Ramona Singer says she’s not perfect. God knows! But Dorinda goes for the jugular, and that’s just wrong. Dorinda accuses Ramona of the same thing. They both hit below the belt. Ramona lets it go, but Dorinda thinks it was shitty that earlier in the season, Ramona brought up John getting phone numbers from other women in front of everyone. Ramona reminds Dorinda of the argument between her and Lu from two seasons ago as proof that Dorinda is a meanie.
As the two women argue over who is worse, Leah breaks it up. While she’s beginning to love Dorinda as a friend, what if she does something that triggers the older woman? Is she going to get attacked?
Luann de Lesseps thinks Dorinda is deflecting. She’s not listening to what the women are saying. Tinsley finally says she respects Dorinda and doesn’t want any judgment back. They toast and agree to put it behind them. #CeaseFire
At Leah’s apartment, her sister, Sarah, stops by for a visit. Leah says they’re like twins who share the same soul, even though they’re six years apart.
Leah offers some fruit salad made by Pita Chip, her sometime boyfriend who owns a kosher restaurant and pita bakery. She sent him a naked pic with a pita strategically placed over her hooha. Then he sent it back to her, thinking he was forwarding it to a friend. Leah wasn’t feeling that kind of shady behavior. Her sister thinks he simply made a mistake.
Sarah visited their parents this previous weekend in Connecticut. Mom is still upset that Leah’s drinking again. They’re on speaking terms, but things aren’t good. Sarah isn’t as close to Mom as Leah is. Leah needs to stop telling her mom everything. And she’s still acting out, which gets her attention. Leah promises to put some boundaries in place, so she and her mom will get along better in the future.
At Ramona’s apartment, she’s having a little party. Elyse arrives first. A group of blondes — except Elyse — stop by for food and wine. It’s taken Ramona a while to feel at home in her new apartment, but she’s getting used to it. And she doesn’t have condoms in the bedside table. She kept condoms last fall, when she was in a relationship. He needed three a night. But now she’s single, so she’s out of love gloves.
Sonja arrives and brings a dress from the Sonja line. A size L so that Ramona can zip it up in the back. The previous dress was too small. Dorinda shows up. She and Ramona kiss and hug and make nice, despite their time at the Russian spa.
Sonja tells Dorinda she had to bring a size large dress. She’s upset, because Ramona told Sonja she needs to lose ten pounds. How dare she? Sonja can fit into a M, thank you!
As the women explain the Russian spa to Ramona’s friends, Elyse informs them the Wall Street guys would often meet their strippers at the Russian spa. They talk about Tinsley and how they want her and Dorinda to get along. Dorinda tells Ramona she was wrong to call her out in front of the others, saying she hits below the belt.
Dorinda just learned the word schadenfreude. She thinks that describes Ramona perfectly. People shouldn’t take pleasure in putting down their friends, and that’s what Ramona does. Dorinda accuses Ramona of not supporting her. Dorinda is going off on Ramona in front of all her friends. This ratchets Ramona up to a ten on the anger scale. How dare Dorinda tell Ramona to speak to her in private, and then air all this dirty laundry in front of her friends?
Dorinda says Ramona doesn’t want her friends to do too well, or she’ll get jealous. Then she calls Ramona a coward. Ramona thinks Dorinda is controlling. Then Ramona does what she accused Dorinda of and goes for the jugular. She tells Dorinda she’s sorry Richard died and the anniversary is tomorrow. She’s sad Dorinda is so miserable. But she says it in such a snarky way, it was meant to hurt, not heal.
As Ramona’s friends stand by looking shocked and uncomfortable, Dorinda and Sonja leave. Elyse chases after them, then Ramona follows them out into the hallway. Dorinda starts crying, saying she needs Ramona’s support. Please don’t throw out things that happened two years ago.
Ramona hugs Dorinda and ushers her back into the apartment. Dorinda admits she needs her friends. They all hug it out and admit they’re scared they might end up alone.
And that ends our episode. So, do you think things are really all right between Ramona and Dorinda? Should Tinsley have let it go or should she have stood up to Dorinda?