Real Housewives of Orange County Recap!
We are back in the OC with The Real Housewives of Orange County. The ladies have returned from Jamaica and two of them will be undergoing cosmetic surgery this week. Won’t that be (not) fun! First up, Vicki Gunvalson is explaining to Steve Lodge that she lost the sunglasses he gave her for Christmas while bobsledding.
Although she wasn’t supposed drink on the vacay due to her upcoming surgery, she did anyway because Tamra Judge said it’d be okay. Seriously? Just because Tamra won a fitness competition, does not give her a medical license.
So, Vicki is getting a lower face lift, and spoiler alert, Kelly Dodd thinks she should get the whole enchilada done. Lounging by the pool, Steve tells Vicki this will be her last surgery. Oh really, Steve? Will it? A montage of Vicki’s past surgeries are shown. She’s had a nose job, a chin job, a boob job, a tummy tuck, a boob job, an eye lift, and a boob job. And that’s not including the ten surgeries Vicki had as a child on her middle ear which she hasn’t told the doctor about, yet.
Next up, we check in on Tamra and Eddie Judge sitting on their wet patio furniture. Eddie asks about the trip to Jamaica and Tamra tells him that Emily Simpson and Gina Kirschenheiter felt snubbed by Shannon Beador. Eddie says it’s because Shannon thinks her shit don’t stink – he came up with that all by himself. Tamra defends Shannon. Eddie tells her she’s an enabler. Eddie advises Tamra that whatever she decides to do about Shannon, keep it to herself because the other women will muck it up. So true, but it’s Tamra we’re talking about. She can’t keep anything to herself. So, about Eddie’s health, he’s been referred to another surgeon and if this guy can’t fix him, no one can. Afterwards, when he gets off the meds, maybe he’ll be able to get a boner for his wife, no promises though.
Onto Emily and Shane Simpson who are in therapy to come to terms with their family planning differences. Emily’s voice is shaky as she speaks. Shane sits with his arms crossed so tight he probably shits angel hair pasta – I came up with that all by myself. When Emily describes the devastation she felt losing their twins, Shane says that’s not a fair statement because he was with her along the way. Of sure, thanks for jerking off into a cup, Shane. You’re the real hero. Emily cries about never looking into the baby box the hospital provided for her after her miscarriage. Emily and Shane are given the assignment to go through the box.
It’s tweak time! Shannon is at the surgery center, ready to get an eye tuck, and Kelly stops by for support. Shannon is ready to start dating again and thinks this will help. That and a lobotomy. Back with Vicki, she’s also at a surgery center getting a steroid shot that makes her hoo-haw feel like it’s on fire. Doesn’t that sound like fun!
Next, the nurse sticks what looks like sticks into Shannon’s eyes. She says it kind of hurts. Ya think? Kelly can’t take it and leaves. Back with Vicki, her doctor is drawing on her face like it’s a road map to Vegas. Both women are prepped and put under anesthesia. Nighty-night.
Two hours later, Shannon is done, and I have to say, she looks pretty good. I thought she’d look like she lost a bar fight, but she doesn’t. With no one to pick up Shannon, poor thing had to hire a driver to bring her home since she’s all alone and Archie can’t drive.
Five hours later, Vicki is also done. She’s bandaged up, still has the pen marks on her face, and is a little puffy. They bring Steve in and she asks if him if she’s pretty. He says, Oh yeah, right, whatever you say. It’s the sweet nurse who tells Vicki she looks ten years younger. Vicki tells Steve she has no panties on and Steve is not impressed.
Shannon goes home and suddenly the bruising under her eyes is showing up. Her daughter Sophie is helping out with ice packs as best she can, but let’s face it, Shannon’s not an easy patient.
Over at Tamra’s house, she is throwing her son Spencer his 18th birthday party. He looks so different than the seven year-old we met when Tamra first joined RHOC. He goes downstairs to say hello to his grandmother and the Frank’s. Tamra’s mom has a thing for men named Frank. Best line of the night is when she says she only needed one tattoo. Spencer is nothing like Tamra. He doesn’t touch alcohol and wants an education. Tamra tells Spencer he’s her golden child – which kind of sucks for her other kids.
We are over at Emily’s for the opening of the baby box. Shane and Emily leave their rambunctious kids with the nanny and go upstairs. Emily cries going through the box of tiny handprint impressions and loving notes from family. Her mascara pours down her face as she reads a letter from her grandmother who has since passed away. Shane thinks this is closure and should end the baby talk. I’m not so sure.
Over at Shannon’s house, here’s the thing about eye-lid surgery, it gets worse before it gets better. Shannon’s eyes are now purple and yellow. And it doesn’t help when your so-called friends, Gina and Kelly, stop by and make you want to cry. Gina tells Shannon that in Jamaica everyone was discussing her mental health, or lack thereof. Gina says this is coming from a place of concern, but I call bullshit on her timing. Hopefully Shannon doesn’t burst another blood vessel from Gina’s concern. But Gina felt that Shannon should know that her BFF Tamra was slamming her. Shannon says not to worry, she’s resilient – except on days that end in Y.
Vicki is going to a beach resort to heal. That’s my kind of healing. Steve places a scarf over her face until she is wheeled into her suite. Steve is having fun, laughing at Vicki, drinking beer, taking pictures of her. He tells Vicki to go to sleep and escapes to the other room, ignoring her request for a bell to ring.
Beachside, Tamra is meeting the other ladies for cocktails, but on the way received a call from Shannon who told her what Gina said. So Emily arrives, then Gina and Kelly. Tamra gives hugs to everyone except Gina. Ruh-roh! Someone’s in trouble. Gina says, Let’s tawlk about it. Tamra tells Gina to hurry because she’s about to lose her shit.
Gina explains she thought Shannon should know her friends are worried about her. Tamra asks if she told Shannon she’s a shitty best friend. Gina says no, but flashbacks are then shown of Tamra being a shitty best friend. Emily reiterates that her mom was cray-cray and hopes that Shannon, who reminds her of her own mom, gets help, too. Tamra says she’s done talking about Shannon…for now.
Next week on The Real Housewives of Orange County, Gina Kirschenheiter’s sparkly birthday party that Tamra doesn’t attend.