Real Housewives of Orange County Recap!
Drinking game alert! When one of The Real Housewives of Orange County apologizes, take a shot of your favorite drink. It’ll make the experience way more fun. So, we are still in Jamaica and Shannon Beador is still Jamaican everyone crazy! She won’t talk to the others, and normally 15 hours without contact from Shannon would be a glorious thing, but we are in a foreign country, mon. The least Shannon can do is text them to suck it and let them know she’s okay.
Today the ladies are going to the waterfalls to have some fun, especially since Shannon won’t be with them. Kelly Dodd thinks the falls are dangerous and then her boobs pop out. Tamra Judge is worried she’ll fall and bust her ass along with her foot, so she walks up the path. Vicki Gunvalson and Emily Simpson keep falling down and Gina Kirschenheiter is afraid of creepy things crawling in the water. The women complete the falls and head back to the hotel.
Still no word from Shannon, so Vicki calls her through the hotel concierge. Tamra wonders if Shannon has gone home. Kelly has had enough of Shannon’s rude behavior. And Vicki is worried something could really be wrong. Shannon doesn’t answer at first, but Vicki is persistent, and finally Shannon answers her phone.
Shannon says she was blindsided by everyone saying she’s so negative when she’s been nothing but a barrel of disappointment fun. Vicki asks her to join them for dinner and Shannon asks Vicki to pick her up at her own personal villa that she has all to herself because she threw a tantrum.
When Vicki arrives, Shannon explains that she was hurt and needed to process that hurt. So instead of just nodding and saying, glad that’s over, let’s get a drink, Vicki tells Shannon that no one called her when she broke up with Brooks, so there. Shannon says she’s doing pretty darn flipping well so don’t tell her she’s not.
Vicki and Shannon join the others at the beachside dinner, and get this, Kelly preaches to Shannon about manners. Shannon apologizes and they order food. Take the first of many shots. Shannon thanks the ladies for giving her some space after some of the women at the table hurt her terribly. Emily tells Shannon that she doesn’t reciprocate interest in other people’s lives. Shannon apologizes again.
As for Gina, Shannon says she cannot handle that Gina is getting a divorce and still having sex with her husband, unlike her. Gina chokes up and explains that her divorce is her journey and even though it’s different than all the other bitter women at the table, she deserves respect. Everyone apologizes. Take five shots. Gina and Emily explain to Shannon that she doesn’t let anyone in. Shannon agrees and apologizes. Tamra is wondering where her apology is and vows to get it later.
The following day the ladies are going to hang out at a different hotel beach. Shannon reaches out to Tamra via text to see if she’ll come to her personal villa early so they can talk. Tamra texts back that she’s busy getting ready and if Shannon wants to talk, Shannon needs to get her ass to her villa. Shannon does. Kelly leaves and goes over to Emily and Gina’s villa. No idea where Vicki is.
Shannon explains to Tamra that she’s reeling from dinner the other night when Tamra didn’t defend her. Tamra says there’s nothing to reel about. Shannon is negative and needs to learn how to decompress without making it all about herself because nobody wants to hear her complain anymore.
Over at the other villa, Emily tells the girls that Shannon reminds her of her mentally ill mother, which, for some reason, makes me giggle. But Emily starts to cry because she had a very tough childhood in the middle of Nowhere, Ohio, without a dad and with a severely depressed mom. Good news though, Emily’s mom is finally getting help. Kelly says Shannon is struggling because life as she knows it is over. Boom! No apologies there.
Back at Tamra’s villa, she tells Shannon she can no longer talk to her like she did the other night, ever again. Tamra brings up that she left Eddie’s side the following day after one of his procedures to go to Philly for Shannon. Which was a bad choice by Tamra, if you ask me. Tamra says she doesn’t deserve being called a shit-stirrer. Shannon replies, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” which is not a real apology, so only take half a shot. Shannon tells Tamra this is a game of semantics, to which Tamra replies, “No it’s not, but I’m sorry you feel that way.” Take the other half of that shot.
So onto Shannon needing medication, which Kelly and Vicki recommended, Tamra did not. Tamra points out that instead of saying, No, thanks, it’s not for me, Shannon had a screeching meltdown. The conversation moves to Gina calling out Shannon for not calling Tamra after Eddie’s surgery. Tamra explains she told Gina about that two months ago, back when she was being a shit-stirrer very upset. Shannon apologizes to Tamra and the two hug it out, promising to be better listeners.
Finally it’s time to go to the beach. Gina and Emily go to the café to eat, the rest of the ladies get set up on the beach and start drinking. At the cafe, Gina gets a phone call from her mom. It’s short, no biggie. Gawd, Ma, I’m in Jamaica. Go figure! Gina tells her mom she’ll call her later, hangs up, and Emily starts crying. She wishes her mom would call her. This causes Gina to apologize profusely – like four shots of apologies. And then this causes Emily to apologize to Gina several times as well. Hopefully nobody has to drive anywhere.
So, Gina, Emily and Tamra go into the water and gossip about Shannon. Kelly joins them on the trampoline. Vicki, Tamra and Shannon get foot massages on the beach by a man who offers to pay Vicki “Sister” to twerk. Vicki says her twerking days are over, but they aren’t.
The ladies hit the town to shop before their last supper in Jamaica. Gina says her favorite part of the trip was rafting. Kelly’s favorite part was her backflip on the trampoline. Emily’s favorite was the rope swing. Tamra says her favorite was her fight with Shannon. WTF? The two apologize to each other again. Gina and Shannon kiss and Vicki twerks with Tamra. My apologies for that. Drink up!
Next week on The Real Housewives of Orange County — Emily and Shane go to therapy, and as Emily cries her heart out, Shane sits with his arms crossed, like he’s bores out of his mind. And he probably is.