Real Housewives of Orange County Recap!
We are still in Jamaican, mon, with The Real Housewives of Orange County! It’s the end of Day 2 and the air-conditioning is still not working. Aarrgghh! Vicki and Sharron are sweating in the penthouse, trying to get ready, but taking forever. The other ladies leave their sweaty asses behind and get on the air-conditioned bus to go to dinner. And get this, fun Shannon is supposed to come out tonight, but spoiler alert, she doesn’t.
One hour later, Vicki and Shannon arrive at the restaurant and join the others. How very RHOA of them. Shannon announces she’s getting drunk tonight because when she returns to the OC she’s having her upper and lower eye lids tucked and sucked. But other than that, Shannon is bored with the conversation because it’s not about her.
Kelly offers to teach Gina some of her moves. Gina is like totally excited, OMG. Kelly suggests she say to a guy, “Is that a mirror in your pocket because I see myself in your pants.” Great, Kelly. Way to set women back. Meanwhile, Sour Shannon is upset and flapping her arms around, saying she’s got a lot of shit going on right now – because she’s the only one, right?
Gina asks Shannon if she’s too busy to ask how someone’s day is. Shannon is shocked that no one at the table finds her to be the charming individual she thinks she is. Tamra inserts herself and speaks for Emily and Gina. She tells Shannon that she doesn’t make an effort or look people in the eye. Shannon says it’s not true. Gina calls Shannon out for not calling her so-called BFF after her husband had heart surgery.
Shannon tells her not to go there, but Gina goes there, and it’s great because it puts Tamra on the spot. Shannon says that Tamra will tell them what a wonderful friend she is. Everyone at the table says, “Tell us, Tamra,” and for once nothing comes out of Tamra’s mouth. After the commercial break she has this to offer, “Fuck me.” I hope her kids don’t watch this show.
So Shannon leaves the table and Tamra follows her to the bathroom. Shannon is pissed because she’s got a lot on her plate right now, but always drops everything to answer Tamra’s calls. Tamra tells Shannon to flip the positive switch on, but I think we all know that switch is broken and stuck on negative. Shannon screeches that her life is filled with so many blessings, damn it, she has to pinch herself, damn it.
Kelly talks to Shannon privately and tells her that Tamra’s been ragging about her, saying it’s always Shannon, Shannon, Shannon. All aboard the awkward bus! Tamra talks again about Shannon flipping the switch. Shannon tells her she thought they resolved her not calling about Eddie a month ago. Vicki says that Gina was coming from a good place, stirring up shit, because she wants to be closer to Shannon. Yeah. That’s it.
Back at the hotel, Shannon threatens the film crew that she’ll take off her mic if they don’t back off. Tamra follows Shannon and the film crew follows her. Shannon tells Tamra to stop making a big deal out of this because that’s what’s she’s doing. Shannon wants 10 minutes to decompress. Is that too much to ask?
Tamra returns to the others and tells them she can’t tell Shannon certain things because of shit like this. Kelly points out that Tamra is afraid of Shannon, and that’s not being a friend. Emily and Gina call it a night because they’re tired of this bullshit drama excited about tomorrow. Vicki, Kelly and Tamra stay behind to analyze Shannon’s psychotic behavior. Vicki recommends that Shannon start taking anti-depressants. Kelly sympathizes with David. Tamra says something’s not right.
Back at the Penthouse, the ladies have scored an air-conditioned villa. Vicki, Tamra and Kelly tell Shannon to pack so they can go, only Shannon says she will go, but won’t pack because she is “hurt beyond” by Tamra. Shannon demands that she is a great friend, damnit, and all of you are lucky to have her, damnit. Meanwhile, we get a side-boob shot of Vicki and can see she’s hanging free tonight. Sorry, my mind wanders during these annoying cat fights. It probably has something to do with Shannon’s screeching, wake-the-dead, voice.
Kelly tells Shannon she’s going to have a heart attack if she doesn’t relax. Shannon turns her anger onto Kelly and all hell breaks loose when Kelly suggests Shannon go on the meds. Shannon freaks out because suddenly RHOC has turned into Intervention. Shannon, your negative behavior has affected us in the following ways.
Next to freak out is Tamra. She tells Shannon to listen for once, even hits the wall with her fist, then announces she’s done and walks out. Shannon denies crying every night, denies her negative attitude, denies she’s a selfish friend. And she is not going on medication even though Shannon already takes around ten pills a day, so what’s one more. I’m pretty sure Emily and Gina have never been so happy to go to bed early.
The following morning the ladies wake up in the air-conditioned villa, except for Shannon. No one has talked to her or heard from her, so off they go without her. Today’s trip is supposed to be to the waterfalls, but swerve, Jamaica’s got a bobsled team! Maybe they can find some ganja medication for Shannon and bring it back to the penthouse and lure her out.
During the bus ride, Tamra shares with the others she texted Eddie that she had it out with Shannon and his response was, Finally. Kelly is like, OMG, and Vicki is like, let’s not talk about her. Instead they talk about the junk in Vicki’s trunk as she twerks. Try unseeing that. The girls ride the gondolas and then the bobsleds and it looks fun, though Gina looks bored all by herself.
At the gift shop, Vicki wants to get Shannon a tee-shirt and announces several times Shannon wears an extra-large. They go to the restaurant to get their drink on. Fun Vicki has arrived. Tamra thinks Fun Vicki has gotten butt implants, but she says no. Shannon still isn’t responding to their texts so Fun Vicki tells the ladies that Sour Shannon is self-medicating with vodka – just like all of them. The ladies conclude that Shannon needs help – just like all of them.
Tune in next time to find out if Shannon left Jamaica and if she’s still chugging her daily medication.