90 Day Fiance Recap!
The show that started it all — 90 Day Fiance — kicked off last night — and five couples got the international party started.
Ashley and Jay
Ashley is a 31 year old mother of two and bartender from Pennsylvania. Ashley doesn’t put up with any crap, but evidently attracts cheaters like a magnet. Ashley has two flopped engagements in her past, and met Jay, 20, in a Jamaica bar during a trip to attend a wedding. While Jay busts some stripper moves for a camera, Ashley explains that her new stud is a twenty year old party animal. TLC features a few childish clips — shading Ashley’s description of her “extremely mature” fiance. Jay was hot enough to hook Ashley and lure her back to Jamaica, after he stalked her on social media. Jay proposed only 8 days later — and Ashley accepted. She’s worried that her future groom might rip his shirt in half for other women, but she’s hoping for the best.
Ashley is heading to Jamaica to be with Jay for his K1 Visa interview, but first meets up with bestie, Natalie, the assigned boyfriend critic. Natalie believes that Jay spilled evidence of his cheating heart, but Jay denies it. Natalie notes that Ashley attracts cheaters like flies, and adds that she’s a bit of a dunce. Ashley accepts that her fiance might be boinking his head off — but as long as she can’t see it, it’s all good. We catch up with Jay, a Jamaican tattoo artist, who proudly admits to losing his virginity at the age of eight. He shares a tale about swiping his father’s girlfriend, one episode in his crazy underage life. He hopes that he will be able to change his wild ways and settle down forever with Ashley. His mother has a job in America, so he lives with his pregnant sister, Poochie. The siblings chat about the Natalie factor, and Poochie confirms that Jay is a skilled man whore.
Colt and Larissa
Colt, 33, is a software engineer/cat man from Las Vegas. He’s the father of three felines and lives with his best girl, his mommy, Debbie. Debbie takes good care of Colt — cooks his meals, does his laundry, and drives him to work. Colt’s father is deceased, and Debbie apparently enjoys enabling her one-and-only to be an awkward weirdo. Colt enjoys fixing things, sharing cat snacks and playing video games. Colt can’t land an online American, but successfully roped Brazilian beauty, Larissa, who is 31 years old. Their first meeting went down in Mexico — a lightning bolt love-at-first-sight moment for Colt. Colt’s choice was confirmed when Larissa didn’t mind his umbilical attachment to his mother.
The lovebirds became engaged after only five days, and Colt credits his irresistible geekiness for his stunning success. The couple video chats for the camera, and Larissa reveals that she has not yet received her visa, which will block her scheduled trip to America. Colt is concerned that Larissa believes him to be loaded, and is worried that her emotional side might pose a problem as they work through logistical red tape. Larissa wants America now, but finally agrees not to pitch a hissy fit about the wait. Colt later visits cousins, Jon and Leah, who take turns giggling and snarking about their kin’s love life. They finally ask some serious questions, but Colt is willing to risk everything for love. Larissa’s visa finally comes through, and when Colt stalls for a budget fare, Larissa is confused by the strange thrifty decision. Colt puts his foot down, and Larissa is bugged — so she orders him to get fit and shaved before she arrives in two weeks.
Jonathan and Fernanda
Jonathan is a 32-year-old real estate broker from North Carolina. He’s is a former ladies man, and had no plans to snag a wife on a fateful trip to Mexico, where he met Fernanda. Fernanda is only 19, and has a rockin’ bod — especially since her recent boob job. The couple met at a nightclub, and Jonathan admits that the age difference is a bit odd. Jonathan is ready to ditch the bachelor life, but is worried that his fiery child bride might back out of their quickie engagement. Fernanda’s visa was approved, so Jonathan is headed to Mexico to bring her to America. Jonathan reveals that he’s been sending Fernanda cash — and that he pays/paid for her apartment, a jeep and a legit boob job. Jonathan later meets up with a friend, who nudges him to take his teen bride decision seriously. Fernanda makes it to the U.S., and is excited for her boobs to make their debut. Fernanda isn’t thrilled with Jonathan’s domestic setup, especially because the power had been knocked out. She discovers some rogue undies, but is more peeved that the house is in disarray. Jonathan’s past is stinking up her American dream — and Fernanda just isn’t having it.
Kalani and Asuelu
Kalani is 29, and from southern California. She is the mother of 5-month-old Oliver, who was born as a result of a fling with Samoan country boy, Asuelu. Kalani comes from a supportive Mormon family, her father an immigrant from Samoa. Her father wants his daughters with men who can support them financially, preferably of the caucasian variety. Asuelu is 23 years old, and works as an activities director in a Samoan resort. Kalani lost her virginity to Asuelu and whoops — got pregnant. Her parents are not fans of Asuelu, and believe that he’s hitting it with all the American girls. Kalani’s dad was upset by the bun-in-the-oven news, and he and Kalani’s sister suspect that Asuelu grabbed the virgin prize as a fast track to America.
Kalani and Asuelu agreed that the child should be raised in the U.S., so Asuelu is headed to the states to make a go of it. We meet Kalani’s dad, Low, who isn’t keen on his daughter being with a sketchy Samoan. Kalani is nervous about Low’s hot temper, and is worried that he might kick her baby daddy’s ass. Asuelu has an uphill climb — vand Kalani knows it. Kalani later spills that Asuelu cheated during a breakup, and did not clarify the details of the fling to her sister, Lini, who now detests him. The sisters later meet to talk about it, and Lini admits that she’s upset about her sister’s relationship. Kalani clarifies that she’s a lying manipulator, and Lini is confused. The sisters sniffle together, and nothing is resolved.
Eric and Leida
Eric is 40 years old and is a former Marine. He’s divorced, lives in Wisconsin, and has three daughters. Dating American women didn’t pan out, so he posted a personal ad and an Indonesian beauty named Leida, 29, took the bait. He hotfooted it over to Jakarta, and popped the question two days later. Her visa has been approved, so Leida is Wisconsin bound. Leida has a five year old son, who will also be making the trip. Leida comes from a wealthy family, and Eric is worried that his middle-class reality might be a depressing downgrade. Eric’s apartment is a dump, and he’s trying to boot out his daughter, Tasha, to make room for his new Indonesian family. Tasha is annoyed, and doesn’t plan to move it or lose it. Eric later meets with his ex and two other daughters, who weigh in on the impending arrival. They agree that the whole scenario is weird, but his ex wife supports by trying to gain understanding about their future new normal. Eric reveals that Leida is bugged by his child support responsibility, which causes his gracious ex-wife to bristle.
Buckle up — because it looks like a bumpy 90 Day Fiance ride!