Real Housewives of Orange County Recap!
This week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County is kind of a filler. Short scenes. Disjointed story lines. Separate filming. But that doesn’t mean we can’t make fun of it! And by the way, where is Archie? What’s going on in his world? Does he split his time with David, too? He’s definitely going to need dog therapy.
We begin with Vicki Gunvalson’s first motorcycle ride. She’s got the clothes, the gloves, the glasses and the helmet, but does she have the guts? Not exactly. Vicki screams the entire time that Steve is going too fast. Speed limits are suggestions, after all.
Next we join Shannon Beador who is packing her pills for the trip to Philadelphia to be on QVC for her new food line. OMG. Shannon takes about 10 pills a day. Hopefully there’s a few Xanax in there. Also going to the city of brotherly love is daughter Sophie and part-time bff, Tamra Judge. Shannon admits to being nervous because there’s a lot on the line – to rub in David Beador’s face.
Back to Vicki and Steve Lodge, they have arrived at the biker bar with body parts intact. Vicki is so proud to be Steve’s one-and-done biker bitch. She updates Steve on Gina’s divorce. Steve’s response is, “Huh?” They decide more people need to water their own grass instead of finding greener pastures elsewhere. Vicki screams, we, we, we, all the home.
Gina Kirschenheiter’s parents are in town to help their daughter through this difficult time. Susan and Gino tell their daughter they can help in two years, when Dad retires, so hang in there. Is it me or does Gina’s mom look like Laverne from Laverne & Shirley? Gina says their divorce is hard, but not sad. (Just wait.) Gina explains to her parents that her new OC friends want to dispense advice, but they are jaded with trainwreck divorces of their own. She thinks they should give hugs instead. If only.
Emily Simpson is dumping her hyperactive kids at her mother-in-law’s house for a break and a talk. Emily tells Pary she wants another child, but Shane does not. Unfortunately it’s more complicated than that. Emily has had a rough time with her past pregnancies and has suffered consecutive miscarriages. She wants to change Shane’s mind just like Pary changed Shane’s father’s mind back in the day because men are like clay.
Tamra has arrived in Philly. Shannon and Tamra are both out of their boots and into sparkly sneakers. Tamra left behind a healing Eddie who is probably thrilled for the peace and quiet at home. Tamra says, “Holy shitballs,” when she learns Shannon’s plan is to go on live TV and wing it.
Back in the OC, Kelly Dodd is with her daughter Jolie, and the Bravo cameras, for Jolie to audition for Oliver! Kelly thinks theater kids are dorks, but wants to support her daughter’s passion no matter how dorky it is. Deep down Kelly is jealous because Jolie will grow into a confidant woman who will be able to speak in public without embarrassing herself.
Up next, Gina and Vicki are meeting for coffee so Vicki can share her divorce wisdom. Gina explains that her generation doesn’t view divorce as something horrible like Vicki’s generation does. It was a starter marriage that didn’t work out, three kids later. No big deal. Gina’s feelings were hurt more by Vicki’s announcement that she doesn’t have a moral compass. Vicki admits Gina does in fact have a moral compass, but doesn’t think it points north is worried about the kids. Vicki says “we” shouldn’t be so selfish as to want a divorce. Oh really. Gina asks Vicki why her divorces are her biggest regret if she’s the happiest she’s ever been. Point goes to Gina. Vicki apologizes and says she wants to be a supportive friend, but is secretly worried for Gina’s financial future. Maybe Vicki should hire her.
Back in Philly, Shannon, Sophie and Tamra go for drinks before dinner. The only one drinking alcohol is Tamra – not a shocker. Truthfully, I’m not sure why Tamra’s even there. She keeps reminding Shannon how nervous she should be and tells her David bought a new Porsche. Shannon already knew this because Sophie took the car out for a joyride and damaged the side mirror sneaking it back in. Hello Karma.
The ladies arrive at the QVC offices and Shannon learns things like when to cut open the food bag and how not to turn her back on the cameras. Things get complicated and there are too many variables so Shannon is told to just stand there and talk about the food. Shannon gets loud and is told to shut up because they are live elsewhere in the studio. #Amateur.
Back in Orange County, Kelly Dodd is hosting a viewing party for the girls to get drunk and watch Shannon’s QVC debut. They’re all gathered at Kelly’s beachfront apartment that she affectionately refers to as her “love shack.” The bubbles are flowing and Emily raises a toast to supporting your friends. Gina rolls her eyes then mentions that she saw her mom and dad innocently kiss on the lips the day before — and despite being 33-years-old, and having three kids — she was totally grossed out. Then Kelly interrupts with, “You want to hear something that happened?…I came home from college. No joke, I saw my dad e*t my mom out. Swear to God!” Kelly blurts out with no remorse for the Real Housewives of Orange County fans watching.
Lights! Cameras! Action! Shannon begins her food spiel with the emotional rollercoaster she’s been on and the need to create a balanced lifestyle, ala food. She’s doing well, except for dropping a note card and bending to pick it up. I’m sure that happens to Lisa Rinna all the time. But then Shannon does something Rinna could never do, points to her gut and squeeze the excess flesh. Other than that, Shannon did a great job and the food looks somewhat tasty.
At Kelly’s place, she and Vicki are being silly, trying to place orders for Shannon’s food, but keep getting hung up on. The ladies call Shannon to congratulate her and decide to go on a girl’s trip because obviously. FYI: the shrimp dish was the first to sell out and Shannon sold 1,100 units in 8 ½ minutes. Shannon says she may have lost a marriage, but she has finally found herself. Which is way better than putting up with David.
Tune in next time for Emily’s dream of another child to get dashed and reality kicks Gina in the butt that her life is about to drastically change.
Next time on Real Housewives of Orange County — Kelly Dodd stuns Shannon Beador when she tells her Emily Simpson and Gina Kirschenheiter feel boxed out by her.