Welcome to the season finale of The Real Housewives of Potomac!
We made it. Tonight’s Real Housewives of Potomac finale will coincide with Candiace’s engagement party that Daddy is throwing. But first we return to Robyn, Gizelle, and Ashley as they trespass with a half-eaten pizza on Karen’s property to see if she really lives there.
Robyn rings the doorbell while Gizelle and Ashley cut and hide, but nobody answers the door. Robyn leaves the half-eaten pizza on the welcome mat and they return to their car, crushed. Robyn says she thought she saw a purse on the kitchen counter, so somebody was there. Or maybe it was a trashcan. Sometimes it’s hard to tell with this group. The ladies go home, giving up their dreams of becoming private investigators.
Up next we are with Candiace and Chris as they discuss the invitation going out for the engagement party thrown by Daddy. Chris’ says his kids may or may not attend the wedding. It’s gone from a hard no to a soft maybe from the ex. As for the older kid Chris hasn’t spoken to in 10 years, he’s going to write him a letter. Chris chokes back the tears as Candiace climbs onto his lap and calls him daddy to make him feel better.
Over at Great Falls, Karen and Ray are having breakfast, she updates him on France and the catfights. Karen’s new fragrance will be called Le Dame, but Ray cares more about his fruit cup. Good new — Ray informs Karen his IRS troubles are over! Ray can’t disclose the amount or how or when he’s going to pay it back, but he is feeling good about the matter. Karen says “they” are stronger for surviving this adversity.
Next we join Ashley with her visit to the therapist. These are always fun. Ashley shares what Michael said about not wanting a child with Ashley because of her mother’s past irresponsibility. The therapist knows this is manipulation 101, but Ashley doesn’t. She must lead Ashley down the maze, like a mouse to the cheese. Michael knew Ashley wanted a family when they got married. Ashley says she feels like she’s been run over by a bus and Michael is driving the bus, full speed. The therapist asks Ashley how it makes her feel that Michael not only implied her mom was a bad mom, but that she would be a bad mom too. Oh, snap! Hello truth. However, it takes Ashley a few moments to get there. She finally says it feels like rejection. Because it is. Her therapist advises Ashley to have a heart to heart with Michael asap.
Today is Juan and Robyn’s son Carter’s birthday party at the go-cart track. Juan’s newly discovered biological father is on-hand for the party. As the kids get dressed to ride the carts, Robyn and Juan tell the grownups about their talk with the medium and how it blew them away. Juan’s dead mom wants the couple to officially get back together. Robyn says, at this moment, there are no wedding announcements. I’m sure the other dead relatives are relieved.
Over at Candiace and her mommy’s house, everyone is in town, getting ready for her engagement party. Oops, I mean, their engagement party. Candiace is thrilled her stepfather is there to act as a buffer. Chris announces to his future in-laws that it looks like the kids will most likely be at the wedding maybe. They acknowledge that Candiace will be an instant stepmother, and good luck with that. Then Candiace’s mom announces that when Chris and her daughter have a baby, he will then have three baby mamas. Thanks, Mom! No more champagne for you.
Ashley is wearing her next-to-nothing yoga outfit for Michael, at their apartment, hoping the conversation will go her way if she distracts him. Ashley tells Michael that Karen was a hypocrite in France, just like she is in Potomac. Michael says that while Ashley was away, he had time to reflect on their marriage. Holy blooming onion. This isn’t good. But instead of asking about his revelations, Ashley charges straight ahead about their baby making plans. What are they? Here’s the short answer: Michael doesn’t know if they are going to be together for the next 18 years. And I have to agree with Michael. They aren’t. Michael says he needs more time to stall think. Ashley wants a decision by the time she turns 30 which is right around the corner.
It’s engagement party time! The Princess and Chris make their grand entrance. None of the other ladies are there yet. First to arrive is Monique and Chris. Charrisse and her man-toy are next. And the rest trickle in. Karen has even dragged Ray to the party. Ashley and Michael are on their way in the car, happily in denial about their crumbling marriage. And Robyn and Gizelle arrive last, with no men by their sides.
The ladies sit on the rooftop couch to receive something from Chris. He gives the ladies monogrammed linen napkins to make up for the huge gaffe at the park. Remember the bbq and no napkins? It’s a hit! The ladies love it, but still don’t want to see his brown penis. Ashley tells Karen she’s happy to see her wearing her wedding ring for once, though Karen ignores her. Candiace tells Ashley it was a dig. Karen says the day she cares about Ashley’s lying is the day she checks into an insane asylum. Well, at least there’s a possibility she’ll get help.
After a few lagers and steins, Michael approaches Ray and asks him where he’s living, interrupting his conversation with Candiace’s mom and aunt. Ray looks at Michael like he’s a crazy Aussie. Ray says he lives in his house and Michael’s been there. He doesn’t actually say the words: Gray Falls though. Candiace’s mom and her aunt look at Michael look they don’t trust his pale ass so Ray tells Michael to get the hell away. Michael goes over to Karen and the ladies and informs them that Ray was very rude to him. Karen rolls her eyes and says Ashely and Michael were each cut from the same moldy cloth.
Gizelle asks Karen if she got a pizza delivered to her house recently, because they all got one. Mmm-hmm. That’s the new story. Karen says she didn’t get a pizza. Gizelle is like, okay, that proves nothing. Karen blames Ashley for pissing on a pizza and having it delivered.
Here are the RHOP updates:
- Candiace and her mom are still at odds over the wedding budget – it’s now at $175,000. Her mother wants to add more guests, but not the money to pay for them. Rumor has it that someone with Green Eyes had their invitation lost in the mail. Umm…guess this wedding will never leave the planning stage.
- Ashley’s yogi was helped to create zen between her mom and Michael. It also led Ashley and Michael on a spiritual journey to Bhutan for her 30th birthday. She visited a fertility temple and prayed with a wooden penis. Umm…guess Ashley still hasn’t figured out how to make a baby.
- Gizelle is shopping for a new home for her three kids AND her mom. All that company is not getting in the way of her love life though…Word on the street is that a man from her past is back. Umm…guess the man from her past got over his park in the dark.
- Monique and Chris have announced that they are expecting their third child. Chris now rubs Monique’s belly with lavender oil daily. Chris still hasn’t told his mom about the pregnancy. Umm…guess she knows now.
- Thirty-five thousand dollars and one failed contractor later, Robyn’s investment property remains a fixer upper. With help from the spirit world, Robyn and Juan are now discussing marriage…To spark the fire in their love life, Robyn went “G.I. Jane” with her hair. Umm…guess she’s back to being broke again.
- With Ray’s tax issued behind “him,” Karen is STILL debt free and loaded. She continues to turn a deaf ear to his request to live in Florida. The curious case of the pizza box remains unsolved. Umm…guess we have to wait until next season to find out when Le Dame will be in dollar stores.
- Tune in next week for part one of The Real Housewives of Potomac reunion and to see their ridiculous fashion choices. And later, Karen reaches her breaking point with these women.