RECAP: ‘Real Housewives of Orange County’ Season 13 Premiere!

Welcome back to season 13 of The Real Housewives of Orange County. Can I get a woo-hoo! From the previews, it’s going to be a crazy season, but we say that every season. There are two new housewives and three of the OG’s have moved. Let’s get started!

We begin with Tamra and Eddie’s move. Tamra wants “their” house, not “his” house. The happy couple talk about throwing a house warming party for everyone but Vicki. She’s not invited unless she apologizes for all the gay comments. Meanwhile, Eddie is not well. He has A-Fib and needs heart surgery right away. Adding more drama, because you can never have enough with Tamra, the new house is still under construction. Great time to move.

Next we check in with Vicki who is questioning when Steve is going to officially move in. Steve already has all his stuff there, but hasn’t formally submitted his change of address to the USPO. That piece of paper is important to Vicki. And the next piece of paper, too. They talk about Shannon and how she’s struggling that David has already replaced her. Speaking of ex’s moving on, Brooks is getting married next weekend. And if Brooks can find love, there’s hope for all of us. Vicki tells Steve her new plan with Shannon and Vicki is to shut her mouth when she has an opinion.

Shannon and the kids have also moved. It’s a great house because David no longer lives there. Shannon is officially a single mom to three teenage daughters. Sophie, the oldest, wants to go on a church mission trip to Haiti. Sophie hasn’t spoken to her father about it and Shannon won’t speak to David because of all the bitterness and animosity between them. Put simply, Haiti will seem like a spa compared to living with David and Shannon.

Onto Kelly who has also moved due to her divorce from Michael. Kelly is loving life now and hasn’t wasted anytime trying to find the next Mr. Right Now. Kelly is trying to help her daughter Jolie with her math homework in their new two-bedroom townhouse, but Jolie clearly needs a tutor. And Kelly could use a life coach.

Vicki and Shannon meet for breakfast, and I’ve got to say, it’s nice to see them together. Shannon shares that she is down 10 pounds after shedding David. They discuss David’s new younger girlfriend and how he’s posting all his business on social media for the world (and his daughters) to see. After a lot of crying, Shannon is excited for her future.

It’s time for Eddie’s surgery. Tamra can’t believe her 45 year-old husband needs heart surgery. And I’m pretty sure Eddie couldn’t believe his 50-something wife needed a facelift. But here they are, still in love. Six hours later, Tamra meets Ryan for coffee. Surgery went okay. Unfortunately there could be future issues in store for Eddie and his heart. Vicki calls to check in; Shannon does not.

Later that night, Vicki and Kelly meet for dinner with Jolie so she can participate in adult conversation. They share that David has already found a girlfriend. Kelly suggests that she and Shannon go on a double-date. Vicki has someone in mind for Shannon. Jolie covers her ears because she is the smartest one at the table. Kelly suggests that she, Vicki, Tamra and Shannon go on a ropes course so they can stop hating each other.

Next we meet one of the new housewives, Emily, who is Tamra’s attorney/party-planning friend, as they hike. They haven’t spoken in two years because Tamra dumped Emily when she invited Ricky to a party and hung out with the “I hate Tamra” club. After going to therapy, Emily has reached out to Tamra as part of her, deal-with-toxic- relationships, step.

Now that we’ve met Emily, we join her at her home with her young children. She has three kids, a “feral” daughter who is five and twin boys who are three. Adorable! She grew up poor in Ohio, but this has made Emily who she is today, which is an overworked and overscheduled adult. She’s Vicki 2.0. Her husband is also an attorney named Shane and these two got married because they had nothing else going on.

Next we join Shannon as she’s picking up poop. Tamra stops by to tell Shannon it’s time to take off her enormous wedding ring. Being the good friend she is, Tamra informs Shannon that David has been talking to his new girlfriend since last October. Shannon is ready to take off her ring – unfortunately she can’t. It’s stuck. Finally, after ripping her skin off, Shannon is a free woman.

It’s time for the group ropes course. On the car ride over, Kelly announces she’s been dating, but not having very much sex, except with the milkman. At the course, the women tell the instructor how they used to trust people, but now they don’t trust anyone. Vicki falls down putting on her harness and blames Kelly, who for once, had nothing to do with it. Flashbacks are shown of Vicki being a klutz.

The ladies get started and it’s not pretty. Shannon has a mid-air panic attack, but powers through it. Vicki has a mid-air freak-out when her finger is stuck because of Shannon. Basically it’s a group of women screeching at the top of their lungs through an adult jungle gym. I gotta say, that zip line at the end was scary. Congrats to the ladies for completing it. Mission survived!

Tune into the Real Housewives of Orange County next week when trust breaks down between Vicki and Kelly because Vicki set Michael up on a date. Plus, we meet the other new housewife who talks funny.

 

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