Bonjour, mes amis! We are going to zee South of France with zee Real Housewives of Potomac — hopefully the RHOP ladies will get along and not act like entitled divas. I can tell you Karen doesn’t call for security this week — or as they say in France — sécurité.
We begin with Gizelle and her girls eating breakfast out with Granny Jo. Gizelle waits until the food is served to send her children to the bathroom to wash their hands. Gizelle gives her mom a Sherman update. The update is there is no update. They are still over. The girls return and learn the news. They are quietly stunned by this and I want to give them a hug. Granny Jo gives Gizelle sage advice: take a break from men.
Next we check in with Monique, as she tells her brother Kevin how to properly dress and photograph her children while she’s gone. Don’t forget the essential oils because they are essential. Monique explains she has hopes that if everyone lets their walls down they can become friends again. Yeah, that’s not going to happen.
Over at Ashley’s house, she gets a call from a sick Robyn. Robyn congratulates Ashley on her recent singing and says that Michael looked like he was blushing. Aw cremini, that was probably just Michael’s anger over Ashley’s mom sitting next to him. Ashley tells Robyn her feelings were hurt when Michael didn’t acknowledge the song written by her brother, just for him. Robyn says she’s excited about the trip to France even though she doesn’t trust that Monique is being genuine. Ashley teaches Robyn some French curse words she learned in high school.
The ladies meet at the airport and Monique and Charrisse upgrade to first class, leaving the rest to suffer in bourgeois class. As you can imagine, this causes a stir, especially with Gizelle. But during the flight, Monique and Gizelle go deep with their emotions. They discuss the trials and tribulations of being married to millionaire athletes. Monique shares that she and Chris got into a huge fight right before the trip over her busy schedule. What a catastrophe — or as they say in France — what a catastrophé!
Nine hours later, the RHOP ladies arrive in France. In order to avoid the dreaded 45 minute drive from Nice to Cannes, the ladies take two helicopters for a seven minute ride because obviously. They are greeted at the hotel with bouquets of flowers, which I’m sure happens everywhere in France. Monique gets the penthouse suite because her husband paid for everything, but also scores a junior suite for one of the lucky ladies. In a sly attempt to divide and conquer, Monique pits Gizelle against Robyn for the room. But it doesn’t work. Robyn easily concedes to give it to Gizelle.
Candiace calls home to check up on Chris. Things are better between the two, supposedly, but Chris has gone to the gym to let Candiace know he’s still got it. Candiace complains about the view from her hotel room because she can’t see the Riviera. Why is life so unfair? Chris tells his princess to go outside and look at the ocean for herself. Thank you, Chris.
So, who does Ashley call when she arrives? Not Michael! She calls her mom. Ashley had an epiphany that her mother’s love is unconditional and Michael’s love is conditional. Unfortunately the epiphany stopped there. Turns out, Ashley and Michael also got into a tiff right before she left town. The countdown is on for Ashley to call Michael.
The ladies meet at Monique’s penthouse suite for room service dinner and tons of butt-shaking selfies. Monique’s balcony is to die for. She explains that tomorrow the ladies will be going to a distillery to learn the ABC’s of essential oils, and after that, they will go to Grasse, the perfume capital of the world, as a treat for Karen, who is about to make her own fragrance. Karen says she’s excited, but Gizelle doesn’t believe her.
While dining, Gizelle asks Karen how her perfume line is coming along. Karen says, just fine. Gizelle asks what stage Karen’s perfume line is at, if it’s any of her damn business, and Karen says it’s at a good stage. When will the perfume launch? Soon.
Next in line to throw shade at Karen is Ashley. And Miss Ashley has some shady tea in her hands, courtesy of Karen’s everything man, Matt, who got drunk recently at a gay bar. He told people Karen is no longer living in Great Falls, but in an apartment. Gasp. Shock. Horror. Charrisse explains in her talking head testimonial that Karen is renting out her Great Falls house and living in Ray’s former bachelor pad — allegedly.
Karen admits that she has a townhouse that’s adjacent to her house, but her son Brandon lives there. Ashley accuses Karen of not being truthful. Monique offers that she’s been to Great Falls to visit Karen and no other people were living there. Karen fires back at Ashley that she “might not be where Michael moved you to after y’all broke up.” Ashley’s like, Bitch, please, and Karen says she will not address ignorance.
Candiace sticks up for Karen and says she’s always been truthful with her that she knows of. Monique explains this group will nit-pick you to death. Gizelle was just waiting to pounce on Monique, and she found her chance. Gizelle is still upset that Monique and Charrisse upgraded to first class, and she didn’t. Monique says she’s a grown-ass woman and can do whatever she wants as long as Chris is cool with it. Besides this was therapy for her marriage.
Gizelle says with a tone, “You think it’s because your birthday is all about you?” Are you kidding me? It’s her birthday. Who else is it supposed to be about unless Monique has a twin? But Monique humbly admits that Gizelle is probably right. Robyn agrees that athletes have a hard time losing their spotlight. Gizelle gently tells Monique this issue isn’t going to go away by itself. Monique chokes up describing how much she loves her man. When out of nowhere, Candiace tries to steal her thunder. Candiace announces she and fiancé Chris are also having issues on account of her being a pageant holder and being so much more than Chris will ever be. The other ladies break into laughter at the princess and her problems.
The following morning the RHOP ladies get ready to hit the streets of Cannes in all their fashion glory – except Karen who is wearing last year’s sneakers. The ladies find this hilariously sad. Robyn is not ready yet so Gizelle says she’ll wait, they don’t mind missing the oil distillery. Excuse me, but wasn’t Gizelle just complaining that Monique broke the group up when she sat in first class? Gizelle is being a hypocrite — or as they say in France — a hypocrite. Monique’s feelings are hurt, but she sashay’s out of the lobby with her head held high.
Gizelle tries to switch the attention onto Karen for not wanting to go to perfume city, even though Karen’s never said this. Suddenly Karen is right behind Gizelle and Charrisse, calling bullshit. But hold on to your beret because Gizelle is going lower. She accuses Karen’s husband Ray of stalking her business partner, Erika Liles, at a Christmas party, and says he’s going to leave Karen in the dust. Gasp! Shock! Horror!
Next week on RHOP, Monique and Gizelle go at it in the beautiful South of France over Kyndall.