This week on The Real Housewives of New York City we are going to Puerto Rico to do charity work. Things get sloppy due to Hurricane Dorinda making landfall, but that fun is for later. First we begin with Bethenny packing wads of cash that will be converted into gift cards and handed out to those in need. Bethenny is super-excited that Dorinda is coming along and takes a quick dig at Carole for not showing interest in such a worthy cause.
Next, bff’s Tinsley and Carole meet for breakfast. We know this because Carole shows up in her pj’s ordering the most complicated egg platter ever. After Tinsley gets off the phone with her mommy, she shares the good news that she and Scott are back on. Unfortunately, the same isn’t true for Carole and Adam. Turns out he met someone else he likes better and she’s pissed. She thought they had an agreement about their together/not together/sex only status. Carole asks Tinsley for advice – bad idea— but Tinsley says a break could be good.
We join Sonja at her townhouse with her real estate broker checking out her rental potential. The place could actually go for $32,000 per month, if Sonja makes some updates and repairs. Sonja is immediately overwhelmed with the work that’s required. She wants a contractor to magically appear and fix it for free. One that’s young and preferably from money.
Bethenny and Dorinda meet ahead of time so Dorinda can understand what to expect in Puerto Rico. Bethenny is scaring the shit out of Dorinda when she explains she doesn’t have permission to be there and the government isn’t even aware of what she’s doing. As they stuff a stylish duffle bag full of gift cards, Dorinda has no clue she’s completely out of her depth.
Next we are with bff’s Carole and Tinsley as they get their nails done. Ramona strolls in and right away trashes Sonja for acting all crazy at her kitchen accessory party. As Ramona yaks on, Carole is shocked to learn that Bethenny is taking Dorinda to Puerto Rico instead of her.
Don’t forget Carole was a war correspondent (like she’ll ever let us) and she’s seen this kind of stuff before. Dorinda not so much. Carole is finally putting two and two together that she and Bethenny aren’t side-besties anymore.
Bienvenido to Puerto Rico! Dorinda is in disbelief at the expansive charity Bethenny has helped create. And when she realizes they’re going to some very remote villages that suffered not only from the flooding, but mud slides too, it’s starting to dawn on Dorinda that she’s unprepared. In fact, she probably wants a vodka-tonic right about now. Spoiler alert: She wants several!
Luann and her daughter Victoria meet at a café. It’s so fun to drink alcohol with your children! Victoria asks her mom if she’s happy. Luann says yes because she’s in denial busy looking for an apartment. She laments over her decision to marry so fast and Victoria announces that’s her, too, in a nutshell. Fast and furious, just like mom. Luann informs Victoria that Tom has a new girlfriend and it’s fine with her, said the liar. Victoria always knew it wouldn’t work out with Tom on account of his inability to hug. And here I thought it wouldn’t work out because of his inability to keep his dick in his pants.
Bethenny and Dorinda meet some of the other charity workers for a nice dinner. Dorinda is sloshed. Put it this way, thank God for subtitles. It’s supposed to be a working dinner to finalize the details for tomorrow, but Dorinda just wants to talk about the G5 and how important connecting is. Perhaps getting trashed the night before the big game isn’t a good idea. When the nice philanthropist who put everything together talks about the work they did in Haiti, for some reason Dorinda takes issue with this, but it sounds like this: “I don zink kids in Hai-ti arrre going to cowedge.”
When the nice man patiently explains the kids in Haiti are in fact going to college, and Bethenny concurs, this sets Dorinda off. She brings her dead husband into the Haiti conversation and how bad the country’s doing. She doesn’t call it a shithole, per say, but sheesh. Dorinda’s as bad as Sonja when it comes to talking about the life she once had. Anyway, one thing leads to another and Dorinda is now uninvited. Dorinda manages to get up and stagger out, telling Bethenny she always ruins everything.
Back at the table, everyone’s mouths are hanging open. Bethenny tries to explain that Dorinda is a nice alcoholic lady who was married to a slightly powerful man who was slightly political. What’s a group of philanthropists to do? Why, make Dorinda their secret charity, of course! Bethenny re-invites her by text.
Back in the Big Apple, Sonja is having a hard time cleaning her house and is making a bigger mess. She is freaking out because the realtor and photographer are coming by to take pictures. What a day for the interns maids not to show. Someone certainly needs to take a Xanax, but then Travis the photographer turns on the charm and Sonja is putty in his hands. And that goes to crap when she learns he’s not only married, but gay. The pictures are fabulous so that’s all that matters.
Good morning from Puerto Rico! It’s time to do charity work. Dorinda is moving pretty slow, but at least she’s there. They hop on the G5 and Bethenny wastes no time with the intervention. She tells Dorinda that on a drunk scale of 1 to 10, she’s a 16. And that Dorinda treats Bethenny worse that Ramona does. Ouch! Dorinda denies she’s a drunk. You see, she just shouldn’t eat and drink early, which makes no sense at all. Dorinda says she’s got a lot going on, and Bethenny says boo-hoo, we all do. The difference is Dorinda has become a mean drunk.
The tears come as Dorinda gets real about her grief over the loss of her husband. Bethenny thinks the problem is John. This turns into a full-blown existential crisis for Dorinda as she ponders: is this all there is to life. With Bethenny’s prodding, Dorinda acknowledges she’s not fulfilled in her relationship with John. She agrees to go into therapy – which they all do sooner or later.
Tune in next week when we get to see the noble work being done and Bethenny and Carole get into an argument. Good times!