The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion rolled on Tuesday night — rehashing lots of trite drama from a rather snoozy Season 8. Lisa’s trick boob-sequins start the episode off with a giggle, before the post-season hysteria resumes.
The episode opens with a fashion rewind — remembering glam squads, shopping trips and lots of pretentious label drops. Erika reminds the viewers how xx-pensive it is to be her, voting herself best dressed. Erika defends the upkeep expenses, declaring herself a half-price bargain at $40k a month. Erika drops the real shocker when she reports that she’s got it covered, and Lisa is declared top shoe whore. Teddi is busted for a quickie Housewife boob job, before the ladies take turns gushing over Erika’s various fashion nightmares. Kyle opens up about the burglary of her new home — explaining that the thieves made off with her whole closet, including sentimental family pieces. She reveals some unexpected uncertainty about her new address, understandably spooked by the incident. She clarifies that Edwin’s security install was not up and running when the break-in occurred.
Erika and Dorit’s escape from Pantygate hell is given a shout-out, along with Dorit and Rinna’s lukewarm reconciliation. We’re reminded that Dorit started the season bashing Rinna, so Dorit apologizes for snarking with her husband behind her back. Rinna and Erika agree that PK is OK with them, a development Rinna dubs a Bravo miracle. Lisa feverishly denies shading Dorit’s birthday party serenade, and Dorit thanks Erika for teaching her a mean shimmy.
Camille busts onto the scene, rocking a ginormous engagement sparkler. Andy brings back the good ol’ days of Season 1 — back when Camille was hated and Kelsey’s weenie bits were in the mix. Camille does her best to bring back the act, reviving her beef with Dorit. The ball gag comeback makes it to the reunion stage — Camille beaming at the memory of her shining moment. Dorit admits that she has a playful yapper, while Camille scolds her for the c-u-next-Tuesday blurt. She throws in that PK is pretty shady too, and decides that the post-season is a great time to reveal that she felt targeted. Dorit stifles an eye roll before Camille shares that Allison “Know-That” DuBois has cut all ties, and was furious after the airing of the greatest dinner party of all time. Andy snags the ball-gag for the clubhouse, before the cast breaks for lunch. Later, Rinna assures Camille that someone else — who shall remain nameless — is the real c-word.
Cameras capture snippets of the backstage break, and Dorit spends most of her time complaining to Lisa about Teddi. Kyle and Teddi discuss Dorit’s social media jabs, while analyzing the circular cast bitchery. Meanwhile, Lisa coaches Dorit on the art of achieving a reunion checkmate.
Teddi Vs. Dorit
Teddi’s move to blab Dorit’s ancient chatter to Rinna is dissected, and Rinna wins, because she never took the messy bait. Teddi feels badly about stirring up trouble, reminding everyone that she’s tirelessly accountable. Dorit’s missteps are ticked off one by one, until she finally admits that she’s occasionally high maintenance about glassware. Teddi defends her responsible sensitivity, and Rinna warns them all that she can be dangerous when she feels like it. Erika freezes over when Camille questions why she bolted from Teddi’s beach house, and Teddi accuses Dorit of gas-lighting her during her on-point punctuality monologue. Dorit and Camille share a friendly hug in the hallway, as Camille makes her exit.
Queen Lisa’s Way
Lisa’s spotty relationship with Dorit and the season-long cuddle with her Teddi Bear is reviewed next. Lisa busts Dorit for being a demanding hag on her jewelry photo shoot, but Erika butts in, sticking up for her glam-sister’s right to be a picky brat. Lisa defends her own right to decapitate mouthy divas, and points out that Dorit mistreated the entire crew. Rinna and Erika label Lisa a retaliatory a-hole, as the episode fades.
The reality merry-go-round concludes next week — hang on tight!