Welcome back to The Real Housewives of New York City. Warning: tonight’s episode may cause you to never want to attend a dinner party in The Hamptons. But first, we return to the middle of Dorinda’s drunken meltdown at Luann’s brunch. Sonja has said something insensitive — like she does from time to time — lamenting about her divorce from years ago. Dorinda becomes unhinged because death trumps divorce. She gets up and storms out of the kitchen, shouting that she won’t attend dinner with Sonja tonight. Spoiler alert: she does.
Luann follows Dorinda into the other room and gets an earful. Dorinda explains that Sonja was sleeping around, cheating on her husband, which led to the divorce, and that’s different than burying a husband. According to Sonja she didn’t cheat on her husband and would be a fool to throw away that marriage. Ramona tells Sonja she has crossed a line and begs her to apologize to Dorinda. Luann blames Sonja’s behavior on her meds. Dorinda leaves Lu’s house because she’s insulted by the audacity of Sonja’s narcissism. Sonja needs to keep her narcissism in check like Dorinda.
Next we are with Bethenny, Carole and Tinsley as they walk over to see Bethenny’s $2 million, eight bedroom, rental property that is also a historical home. Ka-ching. Bethenny leads the ladies around the house explaining her $350K reno plan that will net her 1.5 million. As they gaze at the backyard, Carole gets a call from Dorinda who recaps brunch and admits to losing it. Carole can relate to the horrors of losing a spouse, but Bethenny has her own horror story to tell. When Dorinda confesses to almost hitting Sonja, the girls tell her to take a break and lay off the alcohol rest for a while.
Later that night, at Ramona’s house, she and Dorinda are getting ready for her dinner party. Whoops. Carole’s marathon party. Ramona is very concerned how her house looks, and yet, has wires hanging from the flat screen. John arrives and Dorinda is actually happy to see him. Next to arrive is Carole and Tinsley. What the hell is Carole wearing? A tattoo body suit with leather shorts and vest? Maybe it was plan B for Halloween? Bethenny and her date/friend Dennis arrive next. Dennis must have thought the dinner party was an ugly sweater party. Same with Luann. Sheesh. How many birds had to die for that thing? And Sonja is sparkling in her green sequence if you love that Studio 54 vibe.
Sonja tells Bethenny about brunch, and Bethenny gets it. Divorce sucks. Ramona goes over and makes things worse because they get loud. It’s not like Dorinda can’t hear what Sonja is saying because she’s standing 20 feet away. Ramona says her new motto is to stop and move on. Please do so now. But it’s time for dinner which is buffet style. After everyone has gotten their food and sitting down, Ramona gives a toast thanking her friends for coming, and Carole for completing a marathon, but most of the praise goes to Kirk for making the food. Ramona seems very appreciative of Kirk. I wonder what’s for dessert.
In an attempt to make polite dinner conversation, Dorinda asks Dennis when he lost his hair. Dennis explains he lost a bet playing golf, had to shave it, and his hair never grew back. I wonder if he still bets on golf. Dorinda tells Dennis that she loves a bald man because her late husband was a bald man. I never thought I’d say this, but poor John. He’s just sitting there watching his girlfriend flirt with a bald man in a bad sweater. If he gets the chance to dry clean it, hopefully John will do the right thing and lose the sweater.
But things get worse. Luann sticks her foot in her mouth when she asks Dennis how he met Bethenny. Apparently Luann forgot she accused Bethenny of dating a married man during one of the reunion shows. Dennis is that man. Slowly, a light bulb clicks over Luann’s head as she recalls the viscous things she said. She is speechless, which is good. After a little coercing, Luann apologizes to Dennis.
Sonja is not happy with her seat assignment. She’s away from the girls. Sonja tells the non-reality stars she’s stuck sitting next to that Rocko is growing on her. Down the table, Dorinda yells that Sonja is not dating Rocko. And because she’s a classy chick, Dorinda adds, “Liar, liar, ho on fire.” Here’s the thing, Dorinda was so drunk at her Halloween party, she probably doesn’t remember that Rocko was the Desi to Sonja’s Lucy.
Sonja says she doesn’t lie and this pisses off Tinsley. The two get into a yelling match, calling each other a liar. But here’s where it gets tacky, Sonja doesn’t believe the $5K gift card was from Tinsley. She claims it was either from Scotty or Tinsley’s mommy. OMG. Who cares? Accept the gift with grace or don’t accept it at all. Tinsley gets up from the table, with check in hand, and tells Sonja, “Shut up and shut your legs.”
Tinsley goes into the kitchen in search of a pen. Bethenny tries to explain to Sonja that Tinsley was the first to write a check for her charity, and get this, Sonja says who cares where the money comes from. And when Tinsley returns with a signed check, Sonja claims she doesn’t want the money, she wants her love. Okay, now we’re getting somewhere. Sonja wants Tinsley to be an adoring fan. Bethenny burns the check.
The cake arrives and not a moment too soon, though Carole is not impressed because it’s not a running shoe. Sonja asks Dorinda if they can talk in the kitchen. Sonja wants to explain what went wrong at brunch: 1) she was having an off day 2) she is juicing too much 3) she is just coming off anti-depressants 4) she is not taking hormones anymore. Dorinda backs away slowly and says they should talk in the morning.
The following morning, Ramona and Dorinda are in her kitchen reminiscing on how Ramona no longer hates John. Dorinda says that besides being tense all the time, things are good between her and John. The ladies go out back and talk about Sonja. Ramona reads the text she just received from her. In it Sonja calls Ramona a bitch for not defending her at brunch and an unfeeling POS – though Ramona doesn’t know what POS means at this moment. Dorinda says what I hope becomes her new tag line: Say it, forget it. Write it, regret it.
In town, Tinsley and Carole are at the cafe getting the table ready for breakfast with the ladies before everyone heads back to town. To be sure the ladies play nice, Carole and Tinsley make name cards. Sonja is at the end of the table and Ramona is supposed to sit across from her. Ramona sits down, but whispers into Carole’s ear the new situation. Carole is at a loss because everyone has tension right now with Sonja. Ramona pretends she needs emergency decorating advice from Dorinda at the other end of the table and goes to sit by her.
Bethenny and Luann tell Ramona how rude it is for her to do this. Sonja claims that she’s always the fun one at a party, except around these girls. The ladies say she’s losing the fun and getting mean. Sonja explains it’s because she lost everything in that movie deal, like ten years ago. She accuses the ladies of being judgmental and ganging up on her. Luann asks for the check before things go even more south. Guess she’s paying, though she might want to hold onto her money.
Tune in next time when Ramona and Sonja embarrass themselves by getting into a screaming match at a public event.