The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills kicked off the Season 8 reunion series Tuesday night — the cast arriving to the set amped and ready to rehash every minuscule morsel of drama. The ladies were dressed to impress — blinding the audience with sequins, sparkle, and lots of purply shimmer. Teddi stuck out like an un-bedazzled first-timer — but in a good way. Kyle drops the shocker of her career, when she reveals that she allowed real scissors to touch her hair. What else did we learn from episode one?
Erika starts the party by sharing that her book is selling like gangbusters. Andy questions her about her exposed testy temper, but Erika assures them all that they ain’t seen nothing yet. We learn that her grandhusband was never interviewed for her book, and that no one in her family has bothered to read it. Andy labels Erika’s nonchalant stance a bit odd, which moves Erika to deliver a mean blank stare. The moment is awkward.
Teddi Vs Dorit
Dorit left Teddi out of the bikini name-game, because she has the right to be a bitchy designer anytime she feels like it. Teddi is mighty peeved — mainly because Dorit’s shady eye-rolls revealed her attitude to be mighty dismissive. Dorit pegs Teddi as a backstabber, and Teddi reveals that she had no idea that Dorit sort of hated her. Teddi shares more about her professional past, and her emotional struggle behind the decision to have more children. Andy cracks a joke about a collaboration between Teddi’s famous rocker father and Erika — the always humorless dance queen tossing him a disgusted clip-on pony, in response.
The New Rinna
Andy brings up the elephant in the room — asking for the real tea behind Rinna’s drama strike. Rinna claims that she’s “changed” — especially since her daughters decided to pursue fame. Lisa weighs in — commenting that Rinna has been a removed and rather lame snooze. Jeremy from Queens agrees. Bravo points out that Rinna delivered a mean shimmy, and even showed some skin. A viewer asks about Rinna’s nudie Instagram posts, and Rinna admits that Delilah’s wallet was smacked by some embarrassing backlash. Rinna sheepishly answers for writing a middle-school level oral sex tutorial, and confesses to acting bratty on every show but this one. We learn that Rinna threw nasty shade at Lisa on Instagram during the season — a clear and gutless grab for attention. Rinna tells Lisa to STHU and get used to OFF-camera insults, as long as her girls are hitting the runways.
The Terrible Threesome
The messy friendship triangle between Kyle, Dorit and Lisa is rewound, along with Kyle’s season-long hissy fit. Lisa denies basking in the center of the brouhaha, and argues why she felt punched when brushed off at the lunch with Kyle and Dorit. Kyle chatters out her defense, and accuses Lisa and Dorit of pinky swearing an allegiance, until Dorit gets the Bravo boot. Kyle and Lisa dance their same old dance, but agree that Lisa needs a vacation from the ol’ spin once in awhile. Dorit reiterates that Lisa is the wind beneath her shiny purple wings, and Lisa agrees that her ally has sufficiently groveled her way back to the foot of her throne. Dorit notes that Kyle whispered that Lisa a rookie controller, and Kyle fakes amnesia to cover the allegation. Erika’s beach house exit and the subsequent gossip explosion is reviewed, and Dorit denies being the chief instigator. Dorit drops that Kyle acted like a prattling biddy off-camera, but Kyle denies the outrageous claim. Dorit admits that reviving Pantygate was a bit of a stretch, while Erika assures Kyle that no one but Dorit cares about her past or present undies. Kyle reiterates that the round-table ass-kissing at Dorit’s fashion show was intolerable, but Erika busts Kyle for stomping out drama that did not exist. Rinna chimes in, advising them all to let it go and relocate their venom to their IG stories.
Next week, Camille takes the stage — but will she bring the heat?