It starts with a whimper, but ends with a bang! That about sums up tonight’s episode of The Real Housewives of New York City. We begin with the exciting task of watching the ladies pack for The Hamptons. Everyone is invited this time. And it’s official, there’s been a shift in the friendship of Bethenny and Carole. Carole is staying at a hotel with Tinsley and not with Bethenny because Bethenny’s house is full. But when you talk to Bethenny, she says she asked Carole to stay with her, but Carole said no because she was staying with Tinsley. They’re the new BFF’s in town.
Tinsley and Carole are riding with Dorinda to Ramona’s place in the Hamptons. And get this, Sonja is riding the bus. That’s how much she doesn’t want to be around the other ladies. On the drive up, as the trio talk smack about Sonja, they call her nasty-nice. Tinsley says she will not say hello to Sonja tonight because she’s in the fifth grade.
Luann arrives in The Hamptons in her new two-seater Mercedes that she just got for herself. She’s been through a lot, y’all. I mean, when something catastrophic happens to you, something really, really embarrassing, you should treat yourself to something nice because something really embarrassing probably won’t ever happen again. Anyway, while shopping for the Ninja, because it was on Sonja’s list of: shit she needs, Sonja calls Lu to say she’ll be at her house as soon as she gets her truck. Her truck?
Ramona pulls up to her Hampton’s home in her new Maserati because the car is sexy and energetic, just like her. And when something breaks on the Maserati, it costs a ton to fix, just like her. Her “caregiver” and random artist are waiting to put up some new paintings to exercise Mario’s presence. Little do they know they’re actually Ramona’s furniture movers.
On the car ride up, Carole tells Tinsley that Sonja called her a whore. Then Carole says, So what, Sonja married an older man. Umm, what’s wrong with that? Older, rich men need love, too. But as you can tell, the tides are turning for Sonja, and the women are coming for her.
Sonja arrives at Luann’s house with not one dog, but two. Luann had no idea the dogs were coming because most guests ask first. Sonja is in high gear. She’s hopping up and down with excitement. It must be that new vegetable drink that resembles mud. Sonja has brought a hostess gift of Tequila for Luann because you can never have enough. A flashback is then shown of Luann falling down drunk in Mexico, proving you can have enough. Sonja is clueless the ladies are unhappy with her. She tells Luann the ladies are closer than ever and even Tinsley is good with her. Sonja and Luann are bothered that Carole only texted, thanks, when they took the time to text three sentences congratulating her on the marathon. And Sonja is really hurt. She only got a “Thx.”
Bethenny is throwing a birthday dinner party for herself at a Greek restaurant. She’s the first one there, even though she’s ten minutes late. Finally the ladies trickle in without apologies and everyone is seeing Carole’s ash/gray/blond hair for the first time. Tinsley says she doesn’t want to sit next to Sonja – so instead she’ll sit across from her. When Sonja arrives she is oblivious as to why Tinsley won’t look at her. And down at the other end of the small table, Dorinda fills Luann in on why Sonja is persona non grata right now.
Sonja brings up her diss from Carole over the “Thx” text. Bethenny joins in by saying she called Carole ten times to congratulate her and never heard back. Carole tells Sonja to stop talking and tells Bethenny she’s wrong. This doesn’t go over well, as you might imagine, but Ramona is loving it. Bethenny brings out the receipts and proves she said congrats to Carole. They are both right, wrong and defensive. There is definitely trouble in paradise.
Luann takes a moment to tell Bethenny she should have listened to her about scumbag Tom, but she was in love, so oopsie. It’s her Greek tragedy. Luann announces to the entire table she’d like to put this behind them because she doesn’t want to talk about it. And that’s okay. It’s not like something bad will happen when you press down your emotions and drown them with alcohol. Luann’s got this.
Luann then informs Tinsley she was mean to her at lunch last week. To prove she wasn’t, Tinsley tells the ladies her personal business, which is, maybe, just maybe, Scott will take her back after their two-month break. Maybe. For her non-refundable gift, Luann sings happy birthday to Bethenny, sounding like she’s Cruella Deville after smoking a pack of cigarettes. The women dance around the table and all is well.
After the difficult task of locking their hotel door, Tinsley and Carole go to the café to meet Bethenny for lunch. When Bethenny arrives, the ladies ignore her because they are talking about Tinsley’s frozen eggs that fingers crossed didn’t melt her mother made her get. They finally pay attention to Bethenny when they talk about Luann and Ramona. They also say Sonja looks different. When Bethenny asks Tinsley what her beef is with Sonja, she says that Sonja has been calling her a kept woman when in fact Tinsley is a trust fund baby. OMG! How rude of Sonja. After lunch, they leave to go see Bethenny’s new investment home that everyone can see, but Ramona.
Ramona and Dorinda are on their way to Luann’s for brunch. They mention that Sonja was quiet last night and wonder what she’ll be like today. For starters, Sonja is channeling her inner-Dorothy from Golden Girls. As they sit down to eat, Sonja is perplexed as to why Tinsley isn’t speaking to her. Sonja then says she’s on antidepressants, though she’s not depressed, just high maintenance strung and burnt out after the divorce, the law suit, the daughter going to boarding school, taking SAT’s, and going to college someday. Ramona tries to change the subject to gossip about Bethenny and Carole, but Sonja isn’t ready to relinquish the attention.
Sonja brings up Mario the contractor, not Mario the ex-husband, and says Ramona “loves em hard and leaves em easy.” Ramona can’t believe Sonja has said this, but she isn’t the one who loses her mind. Dorinda starts yelling at the top of her lungs, How would Sonja like it if people said this about her? Sonja says all her men are still in her life. This pisses Dorinda off even more, to the point where I can’t understand a word she’s saying – and she’s not even drunk yet.
Ramona tells Sonja they are no longer close. Then it’s Sonja’s turn to ramble. And when Luann shows compassion to Sonja because she’s “been through a lot,” Dorinda’s head nearly implodes. How dare Sonja compare her divorce to her husband’s death, Dorinda screams, “Your husband left you and my husband died.” Then Dorinda says something about Sonja sleeping her way through the South of France. At least I think that’s what she said. I want to hear more about this, but unfortunately it’s the end of the episode. (Insert sad emoji.)
Tune in next week to see Bethenny’s new Hampton home and Ramona’s dinner party chaos.