We rejoin the Southern Charm cast of characters right where we left them — bracing themselves for Shep’s dinner party. Ex-couples will be seeing each other in the flesh, and Kathryn is ready to shoot her first steely glare at Thomas’ new sweetheart. Thomas and Ashley are en route to the backyard bash, when we hear that Thomas has hired a new nanny, to replace loyal caretaker, Deirdre. Thomas notes that there’s no pleasing Kathryn, so Ashley jokingly volunteers to step in, if Thomas puts a ring on it.
bitch sisters are also on their way, amped to give the good ol’ boys the biz. Kathryn remarks that sober dating is challenging, before Thomas and Ashley make their entrance into the party, warmly greeting the other guests. Cameran arrives, whining about having to waddle her way into the mix. She manages to drag her cute bump up the stairs, so Shep can show off his renovated beach house. Craig is asked about his love life, and explains that he finds it déclassé to date so soon after a breakup.
Naomie reveals that the split hit her harder than it did Craig — who’s happy to announce that life is now all about him. Austen reminds everyone that he jumped a friend of Chelsea’s a hot second after they broke up, before Kathryn tells an anecdote about Elizabeth being labeled crazy, after trying to drag her drunk husband home. Kathryn empathizes with her plight — because not long ago, she was pegged as a prime loony bin candidate. Naomie drops that J.D. is a money-grabbing cheater, and Kathryn kicks off her misunderstood victim shtick — trying to shake that bruised junkie shadow.
The bitter bunch makes their entrance, and although Kathryn tries to dodge meeting Ashley, Thomas manages to corral them into saying hello. The first encounter is friendly enough, much to Ashley’s relief. Naomie and Craig exchange an awkward hug, as do Austen and Chelsea. The group mingles and titters about new love, breakups, and their uncertain futures. Thomas shares how he met his pretty California girl, and Naomie and Ashley inadvertently bond over west coast spiders. Kathryn declares the hospice nurse dumb as a rock, her analysis shared after Thomas cops a flirty feel.
Kathryn almost rolls her eyes into blackout, before J.D. arrives, causing the breakup biddies to bristle. Chelsea fills Austen in on the group hatred of J.D., as Naomie revs her engines. Kathryn shades Ashley for not laying it on thicker — pointing out that even the trashiest baby mamas deserve the highest levels of respect. Ashley banters with Cameran and Whitney about the touchy dynamic, while Kathryn blurts out that she still loves her taken baby daddy.
Dinner is served, and Cameran is all about filling up the tank. She and J.D. chat about the pregnancy, before the others gather around the snazzy table. Naomie and Kathryn commiserate about navigating single life, while Craig and Shep high five over their party success in the kitchen. Kathryn snatches some alone time with Thomas, the duo swapping niceties, trying to break the ice. Thomas lets Kathryn know that he has secured a nanny, minus her blessing. Kathryn informs him that her womb was not properly revered — inviting a shrug in response.
Ashley crashes the awkward reunion, and assures Kathryn that she’s committed to respecting her as a mother. Kathryn’s nostrils flare when she hears that Ashley has met the children, admitting that the group maturity has her rattled. The ladies play nice, and Ashley and Thomas let out a joint sigh of relief. During dinner, Shep makes a touching toast to friendship and dysfunctional romance.
J.D. is put on the spot about his split from his wife, and nervously chuckles as he explains the sensitive situation. Naomie begins to twitch, before Austen announces that the full moon means fertility all around. Ashley plays along, and Kathryn reiterates that the rookie’s angle is playing one dumb bitch.
Cameran and Shep take a moment alone to chat about the reconnected group — the birthday boy encouraged by his interaction with Craig. Craig admits that it’s weird to see Naomie, but his tale of woe is busted up by Thomas and Ashley, side-stepping into the bathroom. Back at the table, J.D. explains the couple’s new living arrangement, his love for his wife, and his desire to put their four children first. Naomie isn’t having it — and we all know what comes next.
Naomie blasts J.D. for being a crappy husband, a skirt chaser, and an all-around louse. J.D. keeps his cool, denying her out-of-line grab for the spotlight. Chelsea chimes in, labeling him a con-artist, but J.D. takes the hits calmly, clearly committed to keeping his cool. Kathryn declares ME TOO, and labels all men dirty dogs. Kathryn wants the narrative crystal clear — in other words, all men are the worst. Naomie bullies J.D. off the premises and inside the house, Thomas and Ashley sheepishly exit the bathroom, oblivious to the fireworks exploding in the yard.
Whitney quietly bolts from the table, while Austen objects to cosigning gossip. The ladies try to devour Austen like rabid she-wolves, while Whitney gleefully spreads the news to the group in the house. Naomie flounces away from the table — deducing that her French roots allow a greater level of honesty than this brainwashed group of hicks.
Craig catches up with her, praising her high volume defense of Elizabeth. The duo discusses their flopped relationship, and agrees that they were a doomed mismatch. Naomie becomes emotional, after Craig flashes a glimmer of interest in a reconciliation.
The day after the party dawns messy, and Naomie and Kathryn are soon entrenched in a debriefing session. Kathryn continues to compare J.D. to Thomas — rewriting history by ignoring her unhinged druggie past. Kathryn chokes up, delivering yet another poor, beaten-down girlfriend scenario. Her bronzer is a mess, but selling a fantasy sob story to viewers might just be worth a cracked face. Kathryn admits that she pushed people away in the past — and is now ready to let others in on her reinvented reality.
The show wraps with Thomas and Ashley, enjoying a night out. Thomas notes their spot-on chemistry, and Ashley quips about keeping things hot in the bedroom. Thomas nails it when he explains that Kathryn wants him forever miserable and alone. He adds that Kathryn never loved him, but if she had a completely different personality, he may have hung in there anyway.
Next week, J.D. and Elizabeth make an appearance at Cameran’s baby shower, and Naomie tries to crush Craig’s crafty side.