RECAP: Bethenny Bulldozes Ramona At Dorinda’s Halloween Party On #RHONY Season Premiere!

Yay! It’s here. Season 10 of The Real Housewives of New York City is finally here! This should be one of the best, worst, sloppiest, and funniest seasons ever. There’s so much to catchup with the ladies, but first let me explain the show begins with Countess Luann D’Agostino de Lesseps post-breakup with Tom and pre-arrest in Palm Beach. That fun stuff comes later.

We begin with Dorinda at her apartment planning a Halloween party. The theme is famous people dead or alive. Dorinda has chosen to be Lady Gaga, but mistakenly ordered a kit to make the bubble dress, and can’t figure it out. No worries, she’ll just dump this in the lap of her friend the costume designer at SNL. Like he’s not busy.

Next we join Bethenny at the American Museum of Natural History where she will be getting an award for her charity Delivering Good. Her first act of good will was going to Houston for Hurricane Harvey relief. Then she went to Puerto Rico because too many people were “sitting on their asses.” The small charity snowballed into a bigger charity. Tinsley was the first to donate $10K and Ramona followed with $3K. Shouldn’t those amounts be switched? Just sayin. Tinsley and Ramona are the only two housewives invited to see Bethenny get her award.

We get our first glimpse of Luann when she stops by Dorinda’s apartment. Can you believe these two are still friends even though it was Dorinda who introduced Luann to Tom? I’d never talk to her again. And the realization that all of her friends were right and she was wrong, makes Luann look exhausted. Dorinda says she thinks Tom got worse after they married, but I beg to differ. Tom was just as bad before the marriage. Certain people didn’t want to see it. Luann says she is still haunted by Bethenny begging her not to get married. The last straw for Luann was the total lack of respect. And the meeting up with the ex-girlfriends. And the staying out all night. And the lying about everything. Stuff he was doing beforehand. Dorinda says Tom isn’t a bad guy, he’s just a bad married guy. Oh, is that what he is? I have a few other words, but Dorinda knows him better.

Luann says Sonja is going around telling people she’s “dating like crazy.” Who? Luann? Of course she is! The best way to get over a man is to get under a man, right Luann? You go girl! Everyone has reached out to Luann except Carole, and this hurts Luann’s feelings even though she never reached out to Carole when she and Adam broke up. (Like that was going to happen.)

All of the women spoke to Bravo individually about Luann and Tom. When I saw this clip I wondered if Bravo told the women to wear as much makeup as possible. It’s a tad distracting. But here’s what they had to say on the topic:

Carole – We all understand the reasons that Luann got divorced. We never understood the reason Luann got married.

Tinsley – Tom cheating on Luann when they had just been engaged, maybe about a week, is the largest red flag ever.

Ramona – It’s like waiting for the train wreck to happen and you know it’s going to happen and you want to prevent it, but you can’t.

Bethenny – Death, taxes and Luann’s divorce are some things that are just going to happen.

Sonja – This thing with Lu and Tom is like that camel ride in Morocco. Maybe this was supposed to happen. Maybe she was supposed to experience this and get right back up on the next camel.

Doesn’t Sonja give the best advice ever! Luann says she has no regrets, but we all know she will have them soon.

Next we check in with Tinsley who is still living in a hotel, ordering food. Newly blonde Carole stops by to visit. Tinsley has a new dog in her life, Bambi, now that she’s kicked Scott to the curb. When Carole offers to set up Tinsley again, she is like, No freaking way. I want it to work out this time. Ouch. Carole and Adam still “have coffee” from time to time when he brings over his “coffee machine.”

Ramona is shopping for her Halloween costume with Sonja. The two haven’t spoken since Mexico. Sonja says she’s just been busy, busy, busy, eating, gaining weight, taking meds, then not taking meds, losing weight, and detoxing in Costa Rica. They talk about Luann and Tom and both agree you can’t take a playboy and make him a husband.

Carole is now working out with a trainer to get less scrawny. Her new goal is to run the NYC marathon. Her friends find this laughable. Cue the Rocky music. This only makes Carole more determined to hit this goal. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Carole should start with a half marathon.

We join a grieving Bethenny at her apartment. Cookie, her 16 year-old dog, suffered a 45 minute seizure and two days later Bethenny had to make the difficult decision to put Cookie down. Cookie has been with Bethenny longer than her daughter, longer than her marriage, longer than her success. Even Bethenny’s two new dogs Biggy and Smallz are mourning the loss. Bethenny says she can’t go out tonight and be with “the crazy people” but she will. RIP Cookie.

Happy Halloween! Carole shows up at Dorinda’s apartment dressed as Amelia Earhart to get her makeup done. Dorinda complains that she hasn’t heard from Sonja. Carole complains that who cares she hasn’t reached out to Luann. Carole thinks Luann should call her and apologize for calling them jealous bitches. Dorinda’s bubble outfit arrives and she squeezes herself into it with the help of others.

At the venue, guests are starting to arrive. Tinsley is Madonna circa 1980 Like a Virgin. Sonja and Rocco arrive as Lucy and Ricky. It seems Frenchie is busy traveling the world. But for some reason, Sonja is staying away from the other women at the party. Ramona arrives as Britney Spears in a red leather onesie and Luann arrives as Diana Ross with a tan face and a massive fro that goes straight up. Talk about cultural appropriation.

Dorinda is pissed that Sonja won’t come over and say hello, and tells Britney to tell Lucy she’s got some splainin’ to do. If we learn anything tonight from Dorinda it’s this: when you walk into a dinner party you greet the host. She says it a dozen times. After Rocco leaves, Sonja finally goes over to greet the hostess with the mostess to drink. Before they can argue, Luann jumps in. She tells Sonja to quit talking to the press about her. Sonja denies it, but she’s been accused of this before.

Bethenny arrives as Texan Barbie of the Whore House. And get this, it looks like things have thawed between her and Ramona. Dorinda hasn’t changed a bit, and consequently, is the first one drunk. Her boyfriend John does a good deed and takes her home. The next drunk to take her place is Luann aka Diana Ross who won’t let it go that Carole didn’t call to say she’s sorry Luann married the loser and then divorced the loser. Luann sloppily tells Carole she should be a woman with a heart and soul, said the woman who doesn’t have either.

Apparently Bethenny purchased a new investment home in the Hamptons, but it’s not in a good location, according to Ramona, who knows more about real estate. Ramona says the new place is on the wrong side of the railroad tracks. And it’s on! So much for the warming between these two. Britney and Barbie argue over who is the bigger, better entrepreneur. If the criteria is cash on hand, Bethenny wins.

Tune in this season which should be the craziest in RHONY history. None of the women are holding back or getting along. And of course, Luann gets arrested. Buckle up for the trainwreck season.

 

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