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#RHOBH RECAP: Lisa Vanderpump Sides With Dorit & Pisses Off Kyle Richards In Berlin!

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills takes off overseas — the ladies pumped and ready to take on Berlin. Kyle, Rinna and Teddi hit the streets, while Lisa, Erika and Dorit hit up a department store. Dorit is feeling better, and she’s ready to spend, spend, spend. Group 1 stops for lunch, and Rinna continues to snark about Dorit — but only in her confessional spots. Erika notes that they’re one high maintenance bunch, as both groups keep the German pros hopping. The persnickety coffee crew orders like they’re in the 90210, while the server stifles an eye roll. A personal shopper assists the other group, as Dorit gushes over the joys of international spending. The retail pro seems to enjoy catering to the ladies, getting a kick out of the proudly pretentious Americans. 

Teddi is most excited for the horseback riding field trip, and as the ladies arrive at the venue, it’s rainy, but the scenery is lovely. The ladies are assigned horses, and Kyle looks hilarious, straddling a stumpy specimen. The horses plod through the picturesque countryside, and Rinna’s horse is extra nervous, clearly sensing that he’s got a live one. Lisa cheers on the horse, hoping to amp the runaway. Things really go awry when Lil’ Kyle’s horse allergy flares up, her bloodshot eyes soon turning to panic. Production chases her in circles until she lands some meds, and the ladies gather back in the van. The outing is a bust.

Erika’s presidential dinner party is next, and although she’s styled like an old Hollywood starlet, the trick-or-treat vibe is lost when she can’t figure out how to open the hotel room door. The ladies are dressed to the nines, and Kyle is high on allergy meds, but prepared to hang in there. The ladies are served veal tartare, which most of them loftily shoot down. Kyle reveals that her panic attacks began at 12, and Rinna shares that her daughter, Delilah, had severe issues with anxiety as a child. Lisa livens thing up by bringing up the New York chatter, which kicks off a desperately needed change of subject. Dorit scolds Kyle for polluting her magazine party, and Lisa lightly backs her up. This, as always, rubs Kyle the wrong way. Lisa labels Kyle a petulant child, while Kyle whines that Lisa never, ever, ever, everrrr takes her side.

Dorit accuses Kyle of butting into the beloved friendship she shares with Lisa, but Kyle points out that she did the same, when she blabbed to Erika in Teddi’s beach house. Teddi’s accountability radar blips, so she reminds everyone that they all have the capability of shutting their yappers. Lisa shushes such an outlandish notion, and Rinna’s hot pink lips back up Teddi’s right to preach accountability until the last second of the finale. Rinna shades Lisa for being controlling, sticking one tardy toe into the tepid Season 8 drama-pool.

Teddi wants to protect Kyle, and Dorit just wishes that a less annoying mediator was on the clock. Dorit confuses a few facts about her beach house blurt, and reaches hard when she rewinds to last season’s panty hysteria with Erika. It’s all Kyle’s fault, at least according to Dorit. Erika is confused — and she isn’t the only one. Lisa advises them to sleep on the bewilderment, and resume the drama tomorrow.

We next join Teddi, who’s starting the day by checking in on her clients — keeping them accountable from “across the country.” Dorit is rocking a weird wig, and has determined that Kyle is jealous of her intensely genuine sisterhood with Lisa. Lisa calls Kyle to meet up for a chat, so they agree to hash out their shtick for the hundredth time, on the city square. The other ladies take off to do their own thing, before we jump to Kyle, who’s gearing up to give Lisa the biz.

Lisa appears, and Kyle expresses her rinse-and-repeat complaint — that Lisa never has her back with the other ladies. Teddi launches her own whine-fest in Group 2 — complaining that Lisa can’t keep her shushes to herself. Dorit denies that Lisa was speaking for her — but Rinna labels her view loony. Bravo rewinds a few wonky Dorit moments before Kyle prattles that Lisa is (once again) taking her for granted. Lisa promises to always stick by her — until the next time a better offer comes along. She also vows to butt out of Kyle and Dorit’s friendship, at least until the reunion.

Erika believes that Lisa and Kyle’s dysfunctional history is clouding the issue, and Dorit has stirred up the stubborn dynamic. Group 2 breaks from the relationship analysis to frolic around the city and soak in some history. Lisa and Kyle catch up with the group, and Dorit can’t wait to hear the scoop. The pair agrees to steer clear of the pulverized issue, and to leave Kyle alone. They visit a striking Holocaust Memorial, and Kyle shares the backstory behind Mauricio’s heritage. Dorit has an intense family history with the war, and shares a moving tale about her grandfather’s family being ripped apart — later to be joyfully reunited.

The ladies cheer up, and continue to soak in the sights. They see a remnant of the Berlin Wall, and Erika notes that freedom is a fragile thing. All of the serious remembrances inject some perspective into the mouthy bunch — but we all know that such a mature outlook will change soon enough.

The episode wraps with the ladies visiting a beer hall. On the way, the group Facetimes with Portia, laughing hysterically at every word she says. They arrive, and it’s beer and pretzels all around, before dinner is served. Lisa is making an early exit to accept an award, but not before the ladies stomp up a storm on the dance floor.

The traditionally stormy boat excursion is next week — did Lisa get out just in time?

 

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