The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills begins with Dorit — eyebrows raised — receiving a phone call from Teddi. Teddi kindly apologizes for being a blabbermouth, and adds that she might back out of the next cast gathering to avoid Erika. Dorit accepts — but wonders if her tarnished rep will ever recover.
Over at the Hamlins, Rinna and her gang are looking forward to a visit from Rinna’s mom, Lois.
Teddi and Kyle sit for the first lunch date of the episode, and Teddi obliges the cameras by filling in Kyle on Erika’s alien lunge. Teddi has been snapped at by Erika twice — and she isn’t going to forget it. Teddi hopes that they can get over it, even if they remain mutually repelled. Lisa phones in for a friendly ear, and we learn that she’s upset about one of her pup’s unexpected death. She shares a few inside details surrounding “Pink Dog’s” heart attack — and works to cope with losing one of her furry babies. Teddi and Kyle lend support, while Lisa sniffles on the other end.
Rinna’s mother, Lois, busts onto the scene next, and the family is thrilled to see her. Lois is rocking a mean retirement, so Rinna knows that she can handle this cast of bitches. A girls luncheon honoring Lois is on the schedule, and all of the ladies will be scoring QVC dusters. Rinna coaches Lois to clap back at any nonsense, before we jump over to Pretty Mess central — where Erika is prepping for a girl power event.
Erika can’t wait to riff like a boss bitch — teaching the next generation how to carve out a future by bagging a loaded lawyer. Mikey has chosen a skanky cat-suit and low rent denim — letting her client’s empowered look speak for itself. Meanwhile, Lois entertains the social media masses by performing a snappy soft-shoe jig in Rinna’s kitchen. The ladies begin to gather for the luncheon, and Rinna can’t wait to show off her tapping mom.
Camille and Dorit arrive, and the ladies are thrilled to meet the guest of honor. Dorit jabbers on about her bikini biz — boring the others to death. Camille rolls her eyes into blackout, as the segment fades.
Kyle and Teddi show up, as Lois shares anecdotes about her life. We hear that Erika has been held up by empowerment responsibilities, and that Lisa is still a wreck over her dog’s death. We shift over to Lisa and Ken, who are rehashing the pink shocker. Ken blames himself, and the couple is grieving. Back at the lunch, Lois continues to delight the ladies with her cheery attitude. A stroke actually did her good — giving her a jolt of positivity — zapping life into her twilight years. Rinna deals out the discount dusters, and the ladies giggle and have fun. Erika breaks in to deliver a confessional sermon — reminding us all to lift up other women, and cut the criticism — unless someone implies you’re a liar. Life as a bitter Atlanta youth taught her to dodge drama — until someone asks for an alien bitch-slap.
It’s seance night over at Kyle’s — a way to say goodbye to her old house and hello to her dead mother. Teddi swings by to pick up Lisa, and the ladies get a chance to touch on the brouhaha with Erika. Lisa hopes that Pink Dog doesn’t let a yip slip, from the other side.
Over at Kyle’s, Rebecca the medium/guidance counselor arrives, and Kyle can’t wait to hear the ghostly gossip. Erika and Rinna drive to the event together, and Erika drops that the cast is headed to Berlin. The ladies gather for the boo-fest, and Rinna warmly greets Lisa, dabbing her tears with her new duster. Teddi and Erika swap eye rolls — the vibe still icy between the frenemies. Not to worry, because Rebecca has been on Heaven’s hotline, and has lots to dish.
Lisa and Erika share a choppily edited convo, Lisa evidently craving a condolence text from the cast icicle. The ladies sit on the patio, and Teddi and Erika land next to each other. Erika takes an emotional leap, and compliments Teddi on her giant earrings. Teddi isn’t impressed — and neither is Marilyn Monroe, who has floated in for a guest appearance. The ladies gasp, unsure of which is the more surprising twist. Rebecca continues to ramble about dead people, and Rinna is comforted, even if the whole thing is a load of crap. The ladies next move to a round table for the real spook-session. Alison Know-That Dubois is given a shout-out, and John Lennon pops in for a visit — Imagine that!
The psychic informs Kyle that her mother is successfully maintaining her bitch factor in the hereafter — and is ordering Kyle to get it together with Alicia Silverstone’s hair and makeup. Rebecca prattles on about Dorit’s past marriages, and Lisa’s expired pooches. The pro admits that she got a little online help when she mentions a certain pinkish pup, clarifying that she “never” goes on Twitter. Erika is proclaimed psychically gifted, and while the others ooh and ahh, she reveals that she once lived as a bitchy boy boss in the bottom of a ship. Rinna believes that she was either a farmer, a whore, a jailbird, or a whorey jailbird. Kyle shoots for the stars — and shares that she was tall, back in the day.
Teddi is reunited with a memory about a childhood friend who died in a horseback accident, and she’s thankful for the memory jog. They switch tables again — and Erika invites the cast to Germany, and chokes out an apology to Teddi Bear. It’s the land of beer and lights, so the cast is all in — but no one is allowed to have amnesia. Erika seals the deal when she offers blowjobs to all the husbands — a true female warrior.
It’s off to Berlin we go — how do you say DRAMA in German?