The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills kicks off with a flashback — a cameo visit from Eileen Davidson. Little has changed with the Bravo castoff, and although Rinna misses her, she’s happy that Lisa is now the old lady of the group. Eileen wants to know all the Bravo dirt, but looks confused by Erika and Rinna’s broken explanations about the drama swirling around Dorit. Everything is good with the gals and Dorit — or weird — they’re not sure which. Rinna is happy that Dorit is a sister bigmouth, and is glad that they’ve buried the messy cocaine drama.
Over at Kyle’s house, Kyle is dishing up dinner, and discussing the family’s home reno with her logo-decorated husband. She reveals that they had fallen for a new house — and are sitting on the huge decision, at least until Portia cleans up her room.
We jump to Teddi and Rinna, who are meeting up for a mani/pedi. Rinna reveals that she had spent some fun alone time with Dorit, and Teddi responds by ratting out Dorit and PK for slamming Rinna at the bean slop dinner. Teddi claims that a relentless “pattern” of behavior drove her to puking up the old gossip, and Rinna is disappointed that the repaired friendship might be a sham. Rinna graciously brushes it off, and announces that she is getting the ladies together for drinks.
We shift over to Erika, who’s getting glammed up for a book cover photo shoot. She has been given creative control, but due to a style standstill, she is going trashy. She admits that her existence is a pricey one, and hopes that the cover will make a statement, albeit an exhausted one. She pops her booty perfectly — and hopes that the predictable shot will grab her readers.
Meanwhile, Dorit and PK are hauling themselves up some stairs for a business meeting. They meet up with their swimwear team, and deliver a backstage look at the manufacturing side of the biz. Dorit and PK sit down to discuss the line — Dorit officially over feeling annoyed by PK splashing changes all over her vision. PK has offered his business genius free of charge — so Dorit shuts up and accepts it. He has changed the name of the swimwear line to a cheesy reality show title, and Dorit forces herself to love it. The group banters about the details, and everyone agrees that the line has been defined, and the future is looking golden.
Erika and Dorit are the next duo to mix it up, and Erika, who’s looking cute and casual, has prepared a nice spread for her guest. The pair discusses the overhyped book, and Dorit’s struggle with her bikini-buttinsky hubby. Dorit brings up Lisa’s birthday lunch, and a gush of jealousy over Lisa and Teddi’s growing friendship leaks out. Erika rolls her eyes, and advises Dorit to check her silly, needy heart.
Meanwhile, Lisa and and her new bestie are chortling over at PUMP, giggling about their snarky go at Dorit, at the same lunch. Teddi continues to articulate about the proper way to gossip responsibly, while Dorit jabs at Teddi’s lofty obsession with accountability. If Dorit wanted a responsibility spanking — she’d ask for one.
We catch back up with Kyle and Mauricio, who are checking out their potential new house. Bravo gives us a mini-tour — and the $8.7 million space and property are lovely. They discuss the relocation pros and cons, and ultimately decide to make a move.
Over at the Kemsley’s, Dorit is frolicking with her kiddos, when Teddi calls and requests an accountability powwow. The ladies — minus Dorit and Teddi — gather for drinks, and Kyle shares that she and Mauricio had secured the gorgeous house. Teddi picks Dorit up to head their way, as Camille joins the group. Dorit and Teddi make their own crabby entrance, Bravo leaving us in the dark about the car ride over. Rinna invites the ladies for a later lunch with her mom, and Kyle leaves early for a theater date with her daughter.
Camille clears the air about gagging Dorit with a porny gift, before Dorit gives Teddi the floor to spill the tea about what went down in the car. Teddi is above such gauche chatter, because protecting the carefree Rinna is her ultimate goal. Teddi repeats her issue with the ancient chick-pea controversy, but Rinna again brushes it off like a reality pro. Rinna has heard it all before — and is cool with being labeled a schizo. Teddi continues to push her agenda, which Dorit labels “issues.” Lisa admits that her sweet teddy-bear isn’t looking so cute, but still pleads her case to Dorit. Dorit rolls her eyes, and advises Lisa to watch her back.
Teddi wonders why Dorit is so bugged by her accountability excellence, so Erika points out that Dorit believes that Teddi is sparking drama. Teddi points the finger back at Dorit, rewinding her shady east coast remarks about Lisa. Dorit blames Teddi for blowing her comments out of proportion, and Teddi defends herself, nailing Erika for cosigning her analysis. Bravo proves Teddi right — but Erika doesn’t recall her snarky support. Teddi shades Erika’s backtrack, and Erika is incensed that anyone dare accuse her of pretending anything — except her name, slutty persona, and independence.
Erika warns Teddi to watch her choice of words — or else. The ladies sit in stunned silence — in awe of Erika’s hissy fit. Erika doesn’t appreciate being called a liar, and is tired of playing nice with the newbie. Lisa tells Erika to calm down, but Rinna sympathizes with Erika’s selective amnesia. Teddi backs off, and apologizes for implying that Erika forgets on command. Teddi falls apart at Erika’s lashing, but Lisa assures her that Erika’s defensive explosions are legendary. Erika doesn’t care, because Teddi is a big weenie and a major blubber-baby. Teddi is the latest to have captured the heart of the queen — so she must pay.
Next week, the cast discord continues, and Kyle hosts a wonky seance.