The first part of the Married to Medicine reunion exploded Friday night — leaving viewers on the edge of their seats. The sit-down begins with the cast arriving and prepping for the big post-season event. Mariah wins first prize for bringing the backstage glam, a stunning photo marking a dressing room fit for a reality queen. Andy makes his rounds — almost salivating — warning of the drama to come. The ladies are bedazzled and up for the challenge. Quad is J-Lo ready — but is really wearing a RHOA knockoff. Mariah and Jackie look classy, Heavenly and Simone look brassy, and Contessa tries to pull off sassy.
The opening segment rewinds the cast’s ups and downs with motherhood. The children are growing up — and the ladies take turns giving updates on their broods. Andy momentarily stumps Heavenly when he asks if she would accept her son cozying up to vanilla, instead of chocolate. Heavenly assures him that she would accept whomever, because Michelle Obama is taken anyway. Heavenly adds that her son knows to watch out for trampy gold-diggers — letting it slip that she used her own uterus to bag her husband. WHOOPS.
The ladies’ professional lives stand in the spotlight next, their passion for their patients given a Bravo shout-out. Their struggle between career and family is real, and most within the group felt the heat during the season. Quad doesn’t appreciate wearing so many hats — and production allows her her a moment to whine about the injustice of having to simultaneously pick up poop, and change office air fresheners. Jackie drops a gynecological gem when she reveals that vaginas are as distinct as fingerprints, and Heavenly denies that her trashy rants have affected her practice. Her patients find her dirty mouth “hilarious” she says, and consider her the star of the show. Andy stirs it up by asking Toya what she thinks of Quad’s marriage skills — and Toya timidly admits that her baby holdout makes her a flop. Quad launches into an over-articulate defense, basically explaining that Gregory is an insensitive buffoon, who doesn’t deserve to invade her uterus. Quad speaks truth when she says that no baby deserves to be born into a hotbed of resentment.
Andy rewinds Dr. Contessa’s rookie season, and brings back controversial mother figure, Miss Rene. Rene is “a nanny with attitude,” aka a mouthy shrew. Contessa’s decision to put family first is revisited, and she becomes emotional, remembering her family struggle. Contessa shares that she’s still a part time doctor, and Heavenly gives her props for her decision to put the kiddos first. Contessa reveals that she had broken ties with Miss Rene, and shares that she regrets allowing her on the show. Contessa warns Heavenly to watch her ignorant mouth, before she’s praised for sticking up for Quad’s reproductive holdout.
During a break, we learn that Toya is getting through the sit-down by taking shots of tequila.
Eugene and Toya’s sexual saga is discussed next, along with their victory over IRS debt. Toya is declared a sex freak, and is overjoyed that her shrinking hubby is along for the ride. Their financial future is looking responsible, and Eugene’s new position is allowing for more family time. Contessa shades celebrating tax bill freedom and Toya blurts that she’s orally below average.
Heavenly’s self-improvement journey is analyzed next, and the clunky junket is declared a dismal failure. Toya calls Heavenly mean — and busts her for shaming her ample ass. She reveals that she has struggled with eating disorders, and has never been happy with her body. Heavenly tries to backtrack, and promises to cut the fat-ass snark. Heavenly is asked to address Mariah’s request for Dr. Damon to find a muzzle — stat, and Mariah uses it as a segue to slam Heavenly for bashing her hospitalized mother. Heavenly confesses to being the righteous cast voice, tagged to beat down Mariah’s mom.
Mariah admits that her mother is outspoken, but expects to take the hits herself. Mariah’s dishy Facebook Live shares are brought into the mix, and Mariah admits that her mother has been known to toss some mean shade. Heavenly forgets all about that backtrack thing, and calls Mariah a liar. Quad thirstily concurs, and echoes Heavenly’s social media protest. Mariah blasts Quad as a hypocrite, and points out that M2M is one shady show. The cast breaks for lunch — while shrieking their exits. Heavenly gasps that she is chronically “hangry” — as if we all couldn’t tell.
Mariah hits her fab dressing room and immediately shifts into executive producer mode. She points out that Heavenly was once a peasant fan, while Heavenly morphs from metallic star into jealous hood rat — scribbling all over the poster on Mariah’s dressing room door.
The word spreads like wildfire backstage, and Mariah soon discovers the vandalized image. Mariah is furious, and while correcting the horns into a crown, firmly states that the gutter is no place for her show. Mariah becomes upset at the low-class turn, and refuses to return.
The other ladies reconvene, and Heavenly admits to behaving like a grade-schooler. The women laughingly disapprove of the tacky move, but Quad believes that it was fair payback for Mariah’s Facebook slams. Heavenly promises to apologize, and resume her dead-end improvement journey tomorrow. Jackie shares about her public struggle back from Curtis’ betrayal, and Quad confirms that her marriage is still a hot mess. Simone tops them both by announcing that she and Cecil have hit the skids and are divorcing. The cast is shocked.
Next week, the guys sit in the reunion hot seat.
Becca is a Senior Editor for All About The Tea. She’s a coastal girl who loves the outdoors, and writing about the sneaky and silly side of reality TV. Her bio is short, but her snark is endless. She loves writing for the sharpest posters in the world.