Sister Wives marches on this week, and the episode begins with some bad news for the Brown bunch. The Supreme Court shot down the family’s lofty bid to review their up-with-polygamy case, and Kody is devastated. TLC walks us down memory lane — and we get a glimpse of the good ol’ days, before Kody and Meri hated each other. Utah was “investigating” the reality family, so they hightailed it out — to cohabit and spawn freely in Las Vegas. Kody rewinds the lengthy lawsuit ups and downs, and the ladies share their melodramatic musings about the misunderstood world of a plural wife. Kody’s brow is extra furrowed, and Janelle even wakes up for the hear-us-roar kickoff.
Kody wants to head to Utah, and march during the legislative session — an effort led by his plyg-brother, Joe Darger. Janelle explains the current bill on the table, and tries to incite chills by hyping the minuscule chance of prosecution, for any plural player over the Utah state line. Meri is ready to march, because after her tryout with Mariah, she’s ready — even though she’s clearly not a big fan of the lifestyle she’s defending. Kody speaks to Brother Joe on the phone, and continues to rant and rave over the injustice of it all — his heart is aching for liberty and justice for bed-hoppers everywhere. He’s ready to storm the Utah capitol, but Robyn is nervous about leaving Eri-May behind. Christine begins to snort and cry, terrified that they could all be thrown into a mock prison. The family huddles up and prays for guidance, and Christine breaks down again, gasping that she might collapse under the weight of reentering felonious territory. No one pays much attention.
Lawyer Ron enters the scene next, because arrangements need to be made for the Brown kids, just in case their parents never return from the clutches of the Utah boogey-men. Christine hopes that her whole family will be up for some cuffs — but believes that Robyn should stay home and hold down the fort during her impending imprisonment. Robyn breaks down, because her heart says march, but her head says freeze.
The Browns call a family meeting, and explain that they are preparing to throw themselves down the capitol steps for plural freedom. Kody hopes for thousands of people, but knows that the turnout will probably be lame. They want to corral as many warm bodies as possible, so Aspyn agrees, but Paedon votes no. Christine is annoyed, but Janelle points out that no one should be forced to shuffle against their will. Robyn is staying behind, and Caleb is on the fence — struggling to decide between camera time, and enjoying an emptier house for a couple days. Caleb and Maddie’s faith says heck-no to polygamy, but they shrug and agree to go anyway.
Janelle offers a nauseating mini-monologue about her right to bed a used husband, while Kody continues to badger the children into submission. Meri reveals that she asked Mariah to repay the protest favor, but she nastily declined. The family continues to banter about their harrowing escape from Utah, and Paedon shares about the trauma that haunted him for three long years. Christine reveals that Paedon is still pissed and hurt, and blames Utah lawmakers for his pubescent pain. Paedon confirms that Utah gives him the creeps, and reveals that he’s wisely determined that legalized polygamy is a lost cause. Christine ceremoniously gives Robyn all rights to her soon-to-be abandoned children, and while she gushes over the beauty of harem-love, Robyn shares her worry over getting stuck with a couple dozen kids. Oh, and in case you hadn’t heard — the Browns are FELONS in Utah — and proud of it.
Kody and the women are busily packing for the free-love showdown, while Kody continues to rant and rave about being lumped with creeps like Warren Jeffs. Kody reminds us that he predicted a dud turnout, and gets emotional at the idea of his wives rolling to his side. Dayton is headed to the front line with the family — and the sweet young man takes a moment to reassure his mother that he’ll be just fine. Robyn and Kody discuss the sad plight of being the one of the few clans willing to stand up for free love, as the hysteria continues to build. Christine and Robyn bid farewell — possibly for the last time.
The crew drives to Utah, and as they continue to bash state reps, Kody adds that he hopes that the drama will be a good time. The family meets up with fellow Fundie warriors, and the air is buzzing with ornery righteousness. The group swaps war stories, and Christine thanks everyone for showing their faces on camera, most notably, her fellow TLC stars. Janelle likens the movement to a “civil rights” effort, and the group assures the audience that they all believe child abuse is wrong. Kody begins to worry that this crew might be the whole shebang, and Christine is concerned that this march might be a hot mess. The next day dawns rainy, and as the group finally approaches the capitol, Kody is pretty darned excited. He’s giddily giddy or bitterly gritty — he just can’t decide which.
Mariah and her gal-pals actually show up, and Meri is overjoyed. Mariah does not appreciate the effort upstaging last week’s girl-fest, but agrees to support her family, because at least they’re human. Caleb is already keeping a sharp eye out for the non-existent cops, and Christine is roped into giving a speech.
The energy is “exciting” because the crowd is a diverse mix of monos and plygs — weakly bellowing in harmony. Brother Joe preaches to a small crowd about the “power of love,” while the rainy weather wreaks havoc on Kody’s coif. A small group of polygamy protestors are also present — and Kody says it all when he remarks that they should “shut up and sit down.” Joe inspires the crowd, and busts Kody for being a hypocrite. Christine takes the podium and immediately breaks the mic stand. She rambles on and on, loving the badass spotlight. The Utah legislature isn’t fazed, and passes the bill anyway. No arrests are made.
In closing, Meri declares that plural families aren’t going anywhere — but she just might. Kody wants to cry.
Next week, Kody and Meri hash out their hatred.