The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills begins in New York City, where the ladies are prepping for their east coast fashion events. Dorit scored a cover on a fashion mag — because no one wears holey sweats like her. We hear that Camille’s daughter will walk in one of the shows — before Kyle, Camille and Teddi gather to gossip about the night before. Teddi and Camille let Kyle know that Dorit had been chattering to Rinna about the beachy bloodbath aftermath — and also dished about the dinner with Lisa. Dorit used the J-word to describe Lisa, which Kyle knows will hit a needy nerve. Teddi hopes that Dorit comes clean, and will hold herself accountable for being a self-absorbed ninny.
Dorit and Lisa continue their stroll in the park, where Dorit hems and haws, before assuring Lisa that nothing she said would warrant a spanking. Lisa requests full disclosure, so Dorit finally admits that she hinted that she was attention-starved — due to her icy upbringing. Lisa lets her off the hook, after reminding her that real friends keep their traps shut. Dorit is happy.
We next join Erika and her writer, who are meeting with Simon and Schuster execs, to update them on Erika’s life story. The duo greets the publishing execs, and Erika is nervous. Erika admits that she’s kinda dumb, but points out that puss-patting carried her to this place — which speaks to her unique success story.
We jump to Dorit, who is getting glammed up for the Bella magazine bash. She’s hosting a cover party, and hopes that she can ooze fashion, rather than gossip. She speaks to PK, who gives her a mini pep-talk, assuring her that she can pull it off. In another makeup chair, Rinna is ranting about the dangers of her daughter’s new life in NYC, and her own as a Jenner-esque momager.
Teddi, Erika and Kyle are getting ready for the night, and Lisa stops in to debrief the latest with Kyle. Lisa explains that Dorit came clean about her runaway mouth — but Kyle orders her to stop right there. Kyle is peeved about Dorit’s verbal vomit, especially when it’s puked on her. Kyle nails Dorit for hyping the Erika exit, and informs Lisa that Dorit labeled her jealous, needy and insecure. Lisa is hurt, and disappointed that Dorit can’t seem to shut her yapper.
All the ladies head to the Bella mag event, and Erika fills them in on the dunce/publisher sit-down. Dorit is encouraged to bask in her moment, as they arrive at the party. Dorit is thrilled, and modestly claims to be stage shy. No one believes her. The ladies hobnob with the guests, while Dorit chats about her head shot with reporters. We see Dorit’s spread in the magazine, and the shots are lovely. Lisa slyly reminds us all that Bella sure loves the Housewives — and that she landed the cover first.
Kyle speaks to Erika about the crampy calamity, explaining that the chatter was blown way out proportion. Rinna defends Kyle’s honor — probably not doing her any favors. Erika assures her that all is well — clearly not sold on the theory that Kyle instigates menstruation controversy. Lisa and Teddi offer crack analysis on the cast bigmouth — with Teddi noting that Dorit is a self-obsessed drama queen.
The party rolls on, and Dorit is thrilled by her facial accomplishment and the smashing turnout. It’s a rainy NYC night, and after the party, the ladies take turns dashing to their ride. The ladies travel to their next stop, where Erika informs Teddi that her cooch is showing. Erika is impressed by how she handled that crotch shot — and determines that maybe she’s not so dumb after all. They all toast to Dorit, and agree to get plastered. Kyle gets tipsy-feisty and challenges Dorit’s assessment of period-gate, blasting her for hyping her part in the snark session. Kyle feels screwed over, so evidently, it’s time to screw over all the fun. Erika is cool with it all, and just wants peace and love.
Kyle continues to hammer Dorit, but Lisa wants no part of it. Meanwhile, Rinna is tanked, and contributes to the convo by managing to stumble back from the bathroom. Teddi clarifies that they dished about Dorit’s comments about Lisa — and that she was labeled jealous, needy, and love-starved. Lisa points out that Dorit didn’t mention these things in the park, while Erika and Rinna swap slurry giggles. Teddi and Dorit bicker over snarky tones and highfalutin accountability, but Teddi calmly sticks to her guns.
Rinna interjects, and demands for someone, anyone to clarify the issue — because she’s too drunk to understand. Lisa shuts her up, while Kyle rages on and on. Erika tells her to can it, and Kyle is furious that Lisa isn’t backing up her dramatically delivered monologue. Lisa, Erika, Teddi and and Kyle continue the discussion in the lobby, and Dorit is hurt that Kyle mucked up her big night. Lisa offers to ride back with Dorit, and Kyle feels sold out.
Kyle believes that Lisa holds her to a higher standard, and Bravo illustrates, by rewinding some pivotal moments of the friendship. Lisa is sticking by Dorit, and Kyle is upset, even though the group lands in the same ride home.
Kyle and Lisa tussle over the drama on the way back, and Lisa assures her that she loves her, although perhaps second best. Kyle continues to whine and cry and vows to hate Lisa forever. Lisa smothers her in her bosom-lace, but when Kyle crankily shoves her away, Lisa makes her exit. Teddi tries to hold everyone accountable — but fails.
Next week, Bethenny Frankel crosses over to the 90210.