The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills picks back up at Teddi’s lovely beach house, the morning after a raucous girls night. Bravo gives us snippet looks at the gals’ thong-yankin’ good time, mercilessly hacking the best part of the trip. We hear that Erika bolted to cramp in private, and there’s little doubt that she’ll pay dearly for that decision. Erika drags herself into the house, and Kyle immediately launches into all the hilarious fun that she missed. We soon learn that Erika’s departure triggered a gossip fest, and that Dorit just can’t wait to spread the word. A trainer shows up to lead a workout, and while the ladies bounce their boobs in unison, Dorit spills to Erika about the gal-chatter following her grisly exit.
Dorit says that she learned from last season’s panty panic, so now she feels obligated to sell out her friends to Erika’s face. Dorit blathers that Kyle and Teddi snarked about her departure, and that her ears should have been on fire. Erika rolls her eyes and takes a poll, wanting to know who’s having the conniption about her decision to ditch the beach for a hotel. Kyle tries to sell that Erika was simply missed, but Teddi admits that she believed Erika pulled a weirdo move. Teddi clarifies that there are no hard feelings, but weird is weird. Dorit sits smack in the middle of the crimson mess, evidently hoping to launch period-gate. Camille perks up, pointing a breathy finger at Dorit, labeling her a big fat tattletale. Erika informs them all that she was trying to spare Teddi’s sheets from clot-splats (and the cameras a bare face) — defending her choice to hemorrhage (and glam) in private. Camille continues to nah-nah-nah Dorit, who skitters away like a big-mouthed rat.
Camille’s old personality continues to creak a comeback, weakly blasting Dorit for being a mouthy troublemaker. Teddi continues to shade Erika’s move as “weird” and Erika dabs a few tears for causing such a bloody brouhaha. Teddi tries to deliver an easygoing comfort pat, but Erika orders her to back off. Teddi becomes hyper-emotional, and tells the ladies to get lost.
We jump over to Rinna, who’s hustling a part on The Middle. She’s sit-com rusty, but knows that her soap training will carry her through. Meanwhile, the women are packing up to leave Teddi in blessed peace, and Erika apologizes for hurting her feelings. Kyle, Lisa and Dorit chat about the drama on the way home, and Kyle busts Dorit for being a bigmouth. Kyle didn’t appreciate being singled out, because the whole group found Erika’s hotel dash odd.
We next join Erika and her grandhusband, who has been recuperating from a car accident. The couple awkwardly talks shop like business partners, and Erika’s book project scores some camera time.
Over at the Hamlins, the model sisters are prepping to travel to NYC for Fashion Week. The cast is also jetting to New York, to gush over their beauties, business projects and fashion. We pop over to Dorit and PK’s, where we catch glimpses of both sets of grandparents. The couples will ensure that PK won’t have to lift a finger, while Dorit travels east. Dorit dishes about the beach drama, and is worried/excited that the tension might follow her to the east coast.
Kyle is planning a party at her NYC store, and Teddi needs fashion help — oddly deciding to seek out Kyle’s advice. Teddi drops a bundle — but manages to find a shockingly snazzy outfit. Mikey has got Erika covered, and is busy picking out various hideous ensembles for the trip. Lisa’s packing up her lace/bra combos, and Dorit is squealing about hosting a magazine cover party. PK will stay behind to hold down the bikini fort, while his wife becomes a bicoastal troublemaker.
Meanwhile, Rinna assures us that Delilah will be paying her own way, and there will be no handmade tile wall in her NYC bachelorette pad. Rinna and Delilah have made it to NYC, and as they shop for home accessories, the teen entertains us with a riveting anecdote about life without a toilet plunger. Rinna almost turns backflips when she discovers that plastic painkillers can make fabulous home accessories.
Erika reminisces about her youthful days in Manhattan, and the cast splits up to take on the city. Kyle and Lisa check out Kyle’s retail baby, and we hear some details about those behind the store’s success.
The cast, minus Kyle and Lisa, gathers for dinner, and Dorit’s cleavage is ready for action. Dorit fills in the girls about the dinner with Kyle and Lisa, and delivers a dramatic rendition of Lisa’s pouty exit. The ladies giggle over the lacy visual, and Erika points out that a competition has been sparked — but Kyle’s affection is the pink booby prize.
The ladies chat about Erika’s theory, and Dorit throws Lisa under the bus as a needy loser. Rinna, who’s all ears, can barely contain her joy. Dorit then rats out Kyle for insinuating that Erika is a sheet-diva, while Teddi continues to softly chant “weird-weird-weird” in the background. Erika doesn’t care what anyone thinks about her hotel bleed-out, and Rinna appears bummed that she wasn’t there to amp up this snoozy drama. Erika keeps the Lisa gossip going, and Dorit throws the fighting word “jealous” into the mix. Rinna knows that Lisa will be flaming mad when she hears about the dinner chatter, and she can’t wait for the fireworks.
Next week, Kyle lets the tattle-rat have it.