Last year’s big day has arrived — the Mexican vintage mishmash wedding of Sister Wives duo, Mykelti Brown and Tony Padron. The day dawns with lots of pre-bash chores, and many hands are available to help out. Tony, not surprisingly, isn’t easily pushed into work, so he’s sleeping in. Christine is sweating over her upcoming aria, even though the weather is freezing cold. The girls are getting their hair and makeup done, and the bridal party is abuzz with excitement. Mykelti can’t wait to proudly call Tony her husband, but Christine and Kody jump in to remind us all that their own marriage was covert, and did not include a truckload of tacos.
We jump over to Tony, who has gotten up just in time to brush his hair. Tony and his “bros-men” — a term Tony finds “significant” — banter about naked wrestling, while awaiting their next cue. The ladies titter about Tony’s imperceptible excitement, while Tony bites his nails and spits shards across the room. Kody rambles on about his detached plight as a polygamous groom — forgetting that his bed-hopping end-goal was achieved. Christine wasn’t thrilled with Kody’s “thousand yard stare” on their wedding day — so he made up for it by pulling out all the stops for Robyn. Kody and Robyn solemnly remember their generously detached family wedding — even though viewers saw the lust-fest with their own eyes.
We jump back to the present, where Kody is charging into the room sporting a ponytail wisp. The ladies giggle hysterically over their hunk of ponytailed love, and debate the look.The decision is split. In the end, Mykelti vetoes the pony, so Kody decides to save the style for when he wants to get Janelle conscious and growling. Take a moment, and let that visual sink in.
Back at wedding central, the girls are busy getting pretty, and Maddie and Caleb pop in to announce that the gender of their child is soon to be revealed. They’re betting on a boy, and hope to drive Janelle out of her home by scoring twins the next time. Christine annoys Aspyn by bellowing out her stress, while Mykelti gushes over her handmade bouquets. The three other mothers appear, and Robyn rewinds Mykelti’s harrowing wedding hair dilemma. The moms present the bride with their assigned keepsakes, and strangely dictate elaborate bridal accessories — likely approved by Mykelti beforehand. We hear that Robyn’s kids will be sick for the ceremony, and that’s a problem, because in case you hadn’t heard — it’s a frozen tundra out there. Mykelti teaches shoulder wrap choreography, while Kody drags out an arch draped in dollar vintage. The family proclaims Tony sheer perfection — continuing the hard sell.
Mykelti appears in her dress, and Aspyn gifts her with a thoughtful bracelet to throw on the stack. Tony mixes up the photo sesh schedule, and continues to babble about breaking tradition—basking in Kody vibes. Tony ponders Kody’s wedding day wisdom, and the scene is set for the big reveal. Tony gets his first look at his bride, and gives her boobs a double thumbs up. Photos are taken, and Christine looks pretty, but is nervous about her big number. Christine forgot Kody’s wedding clothes, which throws a dramatic wrench in the schedule.
The guests continue to stream in, while everyone breathlessly awaits Kody’s return. The minutes tick by, and Kody finally appears, decked out in a tux, and a pageboy do. As a side note, Kody does not approve of Mykelti’s boobs. Meanwhile, the planner explains to the guests that they’re to pelt the bride and groom with frisbees, just before Tony struts out. The wedding party walks to a jaunty TLC soundtrack, and Truely is a joyously enthusiastic flower girl. Kody walks Mykelti down the aisle, hogging the spotlight when he smacks the groom before handing over his daughter. Mykelti braves the weather like a champ, while Tony snarks obnoxious comments throughout the ceremony. The officiant has the couple grasp a love frisbee, before Tony gives his jacket to his chilly bride, once again proving his exquisitely chivalrous character. The couple swaps vows, and the guests fling their mini frisbees. The Brown sibs are thrilled with their new legal playmate.
Mykelti demands the family photos be taken outside — and Kody kills the dream by refusing to allow the sick kiddos back out in the weather. Mykelti compromises, and frigid single family pics are shot. The rest of the gang pulls off some clicks indoors, before the reception kicks off. The most important part of the party is served — the non-white taco buffet. Tony is proven right about needing about a million servings — and the Browns swear that they’ll never doubt his piggish instincts again. Kody steals the mic and rambles out some self-absorbed garble, before Christine’s big moment. Christine is terrified, but pulls off a gutsy, though off-key, performance. Tony hacks up the wedding cake but resists smashing it into Mykelti’s face.
Tony is dubbed a “complete gentleman,” just before he slaps a used fork into a fresh cake tier. The couple hits the dance floor, and Mykelti’s boobs are almost flung out of her dress. The piñatas are next, and Christine almost falls off her chair giggling at the idea of smacking a dangling Janelle silly.
Aurora busts open Mykelti and Garrison does the same with paper Tony. Kody requests a piñata for his birthday, and they agree that a jackass likeness would be the most appropriate, especially after his donkeyesque boogie-down on the dance floor.
Meri and Janelle march back to therapy next week.