This week on Vanderpump Rules, tragedy strikes SUR. However, we begin with Queen Bee Lisa who has yet another new role. She’s taking over as editor-in-chief of Beverly Hills Lifestyle magazine and hosting an event to celebrate herself. Lisa tells Stassi she’s in charge of not making her look like an idiot and James is in charge of DJ’ing two parties. I don’t trust Stassi with the task and this will be the most James has ever worked in his life. After Lisa leaves, Stassi tells James it’s okay to bring his boyfriend Logan to the party. Bam!
Up next, we join the Tom’s and Katie at a men’s clothing store. Schwartz’ brothers, Bert, Billy, and Brandon, the 30 year-old triplets who still live at home with mom and dad, are coming to California for a visit. Tom is setting up a makeover for the trio to make them look like the Tom’s, then they can be quintuplets! The brothers will be staying with Tom and Katie, who is going out of her way to play the supportive wife to her drunk husband.
In addition to being an event planner, Stassi is also working hard to establish her podcast career. She is meeting with Billie, the transgender hostess and activist. The two meet up and Billie tells Stassi she just came from getting her nails done with Lala, Ariana, and Scheana and they told her, “Girl, watch out for Stassi. She takes pride in being ignorant.” Stassi yells that she’s not a racist, but then we hear a prior podcast when Stassi ranted that some of last year’s acceptance speeches by black actors were about race and politics, further lamenting how the Asians and Latinos weren’t whining about white privilege. Billie explains she hasn’t grown to hate Stassi yet like the others, but is willing to try. Stassi stops crying, pulls off her eyelashes, and gets too work on, “Straight Up with Stassi.”
Over at Katie and Tom’s apartment, she is getting ready for the bros-in-law by inflating the air mattresses. Sandoval and Jax arrive with the fashion. Sandoval can’t wait to enlighten the trio on how to properly dress so that people think you are sexually ambiguous. Katie announces there was a small fire at SUR last night, but everyone is safe, and it didn’t burn to the ground, much to Jax’s disappointment.
Lisa arrives at SUR to check the damage. The flames from the circuit breaker didn’t reach the restaurant, but the smoke did, and Lisa doesn’t think they can open tonight. James can hold his C-U-Next-Tuesday party on the other side, but must still DJ her magazine party as well. Stassi sits down with a heavy sigh, because although her restaurant didn’t nearly burn down, some of the SURvers won’t work for her. Lisa says, “Now you know how I feel, you little brat.” At the meeting, Lisa tells the staff when Stassi tells them to do something, it’s because she’s told Stassi to tell them to do something. Then Lisa instructs the crew to call Stassi, Ms. Schroeder, which receives a lot of eye rolling.
The party for Lifestyle magazine is in 15 minutes, but it’s not ready. Pandora is doing Stassi’s job because she’s better at it. Ariana arrives, surprised she has to do more than pour wine, and Jax is late. Dorit and her braids from RHOBH makes a cameo, other guests show up, but still no Jax. Lisa asks her son Max to help out. Brittany shows up and says Jax is at home, having just had the exhausting experience of getting a haircut, and apologizes like it’s her fault – because I’m sure Jax told her it was – and offers to bartend.
Lala asks Billie about the podcast. Lala doesn’t think Stassi is ignorant, just that she speaks without thinking, which by definition, is ignorant. Stassi walks up and says she can’t get into a bitchfest right now because she’s #adulting. Jax arrives and tries to apologize for being late, but Lisa won’t accept it and tells him to leave because he’s an ungrateful asshole. Unfazed, Jax says okay, and strolls away.
Jax goes to SUR to hang out with the Tom’s and his bros and has the gall to complain it shouldn’t matter that he was 30 minutes late because he’s only serving drinks to rich people who have two Bentley’s. It’s not as if he’s saving a third-world country, because that’s something Jax would never do. During his testimonial, Jax is smug and sanctimonious, and chips his front tooth on the beer bottle. Karma is a funny b*tch.
Introductions are made for Lisa as the new editor in chief. Afterwards, Katie waddles up to Lisa and tells her that chi, chi, chi, Kevin Lee, just told her that her weight gain is “out of control.” Lisa is shocked and tells Katie she’s gorgeous. It’s true. And now there’s more of her to love. A flashback is shown of Katie from 8 years ago when she fell 25 feet, had to have her mouth wired shut and lost lots of weight has a scar to this day.
James arrives at Lisa’s party and spins some tunes. I guess James must be going back and forth between the parties, because next he’s back at SUR, and Stassi, Brittany, Katie and Kristen are there, hanging out, wishing Kevin Lee a horrible death. Stassi points out Kevin’s ignorance, which is laughable. Katie tries to talk about what a fragile mess she was last year, but then Stassi steals the moment to make it about her and her ignorance.
Jax sits down with the gang and can hear Kristen talking shit about him to Brittany at the other end of the table. She says that Jax only cares about Jax – something we all know. Jax decides to dump on Scheana and says he didn’t get involved in her break up with Shay – even though he did say some shitty things – because it was nobody else’s business. He’s getting all worked up so Momma Brittany has to come over and chastise bad little Jax about being a lunatic. Jax apologizes for his anger, but not to Brittany.
The following day, before the triplet makeover, Katie tells the boys what Kevin Lee said. The triplets, who are from Florida, think Katie is skinny. Aren’t they sweet? The stylists show up to cut and blow out the new do’s and put on their Johnny Cash ensembles. They hit the town.
Meanwhile, Jax has been seeing two therapists. One is a licensed and the other is the Reiki Master, Kelsey. So how did he become a douchebag, asks Kelsey? Jax blames the industry. Kelsey explains that Jax chose a path where he could get by on his looks, and he needs to own it, especially since he’s about to turn 40. Jax asks Kelsey to call him Jason. As if by magic, Jason has a breakthrough by admitting he’s a chameleon. They two hug it out after Jason was able to go deep – something I’m sure he wants to do with Kelsey.
Tune in next time for the murder-themed birthday party for Ariana that Stassi makes about herself.