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RECAP: #VanderpumpRules Logan Outs His Gay Affair With James!

I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run.

We return to Vanderpump Rules exactly where we left off, with Brittany’s mom’s arrival, commencing Kristen’s plan, Operation-Break-Up. Jax makes a mad dash for the door, under the guise of getting Sherri a gift. After a quick mother/daughter heart to heart, Sherri tells Brittany that Jax may not be the guy for her. Ya think!

Next, Lala and Katie meet for lunch. When asked for her ID, Lala rudely declines to provide it, because she forgot it, claiming she’s a grown-ass woman. Me thinks not. Lala tells Katie she’s all about forgive and forget, but Scheana is not. And this makes Lala sad. This season she’s all about #powerofthepussy and wants everyone to get along. Who are you and what have you done with Lala?

Lisa drops by SUR and orders a chilled shot, gives it to Peter, because it’s his birthday. The end. Onto, Scheana who is super jealous that Lala had lunch with Katie. Lala tells Scheana that Katie isn’t talking about Rob making out with another chick anymore. Scheana is dubious. Newsflash, Scheana! No one gives a damn. But Scheana is PMS’ing really bad and about to jump off the ledge. And after Lala says in her testimonial it’s our job as women to forgive each other, I say let them both jump. Peter and Carter are sharing their birthday party. This is the first time Peter has included chicks with the dicks. Aren’t they lucky? Kristen is planning another surprise for Operation-Break-Up. If one family member is fun, two family members are funner! Brittany’s older sister Tiffany has arrived – and she hates Jax – so this should be fun.

Lisa arrives at the party and visits with Sherri to slam Jax. When Lisa asks Sherri if she’s done with Jax dating her daughter, Sherri says unless there’s a big change. Oh, pa-leeze woman! Jax will never change. Meanwhile, Brittany tells Jax he has to put all his efforts into making sure her family is okay with him. Otherwise she will leave him. Yeah, right. And somewhere there’s a bar called TomTom opening soon.

Lala is ready to school the women on feminism, but it doesn’t go well because feminism doesn’t involve allowing a man to pay your bills. Darn! Lala starts yelling at Scheana for blaming everyone and for everyone blaming everyone else. Scheana calls all the women fake. Schwartz jumps in and points out that Scheana is the fakest woman in the room and all she cares about is taking the perfect selfie. Scheana tells Tom all he cares about is making out with chicks in bars. Tom is stunned silent. Too bad he didn’t say something like, “Yeah, with Rob by my side.” Ba-dum-tsk.

Ariana tells Lala that Scheana is being genuine and Katie is being un-genuine. Here’s the real problem, Scheana doesn’t like that Katie is moving in on her friendship with Lala. In fact, Scheana tells Lala it was because of Katie that she was a total bitch to her last season. Way to be accountable, Scheana.

The following day, Lala and James are playing tennis, now that the two have kissed and made up after last week’s pasta fight. The conversation drifts to Logan and how he has crazy, mad love for James. James gets that Logan is in love with him, because what’s not to love, but it’s disrespectful to his beard girlfriend.

Across town, Jax brings home sandwiches to Brittany’s family while they boss him around. Sherri tells Jax that at some point the two of them are gonna need to have a southern sit down. Jax says okay, but is contemplating a quick trip out of the country. Tiffany tells the gang that last night Logan announced he was sleeping with James, said his girlfriend is dumb if she doesn’t know, and welcome to Hollywood.

The guys are hitting the gym and Sandoval is quite the jump-roper. I’m sure plenty of second-grade girls are so jealous of his moves. Jax, James, and the Tom’s take a break outside. After they trash Kristen, Jax tells James what Logan is saying. James says that Logan would never tell people they are hooking up because they have an agreement. Schwartz thinks it’s only 77% true and Jax doesn’t care because obviously.

Stassi and Kristen go to SUR and ask Lala to seat them in Brittany’s section. Before Lala leaves, they tell her the rumor about James and Logan. Kristen totally thinks James has taken dips in the penis pond, but doesn’t think he is right now. But hey, it’s West Hollywood, so anything goes.

At a bar, James and Raquel are mixing wine and discussing the Logan situation. James says he’s innocent. Raquel says she’s tired of the “whole world” claiming to be having sex with her boyfriend. Eww, girl. Get tested before you go back to college.

It’s redemption time for Jax! He’s taking Tiffany and Sherri out to dinner while Brittany’s at work. Jax begins by saying he’s so happy Kristen arranged for them to come out to LA – and surprisingly lightning doesn’t strike. Sherri asks Jax why he cheated. What was it about this other girl? Jax basically says it was because she had a pulse. And then pulls a dick move and says he got tired of Brittany sleeping and eating all day, poor thang. Jax does admit he’s a selfish, terrible person, so there’s something we can all agree on. Sherri tears up and tells Jax “what you done for my son” back in Kentucky was great, so she’s willing to give Jax another chance.

James stops by Brittany’s house to talk with the ladies about the Logan situation. Jax would rather get a root canal so he leaves. Tiffany tells James about the “welcome to Hollywood” conversation she had with Logan. James calls Logan and repeats that phrase. Logan admits he said it, but claims it’s all a lie and he was just being a jealous little bitch. James calls him a piece of shit and hangs up, but then cries like a little bitch and goes wee, wee, wee, all the way home. Now it’s time for Sherri and Tiffany to leave. Brittany’s very sad, but Jax is ecstatic. He’s got his girl and a cold case of beer. Life is good when you get away with murder.

Tune in next week to meet Schwartz’ triplet brothers. Plus, Jax and/or Jason meets up with the Reiki master. Here we go again!

 

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